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Forums / Depression / Being laughed at

Topic: Being laughed at

15 posts, 0 answered
  1. Fiatlux
    Fiatlux avatar
    196 posts
    20 April 2022

    I was laughed at for admitting that I had depression and was suicidal.

    I don’t know what to even make of this.

    This person went on to tell me that if I were depressed and or suicidal, that I wouldn’t be talking about it. That I would have taken my life.

    I am sure that some of us have heard of those who suicide without warning signs ever being noticed. This has happened to me, (a dear friend).

    The laughing has me bewildered. Who does this?

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6816 posts
    20 April 2022 in reply to Fiatlux
    Hi Fiatlux

    Thank you for your post and for starting this conversation. It is never ok to belittle someone who is expressing feelings or thoughts of suicide and we are really sorry that this has been your experience. We know that it can take a lot to speak about how we are feeling and we want to thank you for showing courage in doing that here. 

    If you ever feel unsafe, it is important that you call 000 straight away so that they can give you support. You can also call Lifeline in these moments on 13 11 14. 

    If you ever want someone to chat to about how you are feeling you can also call us on 1300 22 4636 anytime you like. If a phone call isn't right for you, we also have a webchat if that works best for you.

    Thoughts and feelings of suicide present differently for everyone and we are sorry this was the itneraction you had. We are also really sorry to hear about your friend, that loss must have been incredibly difficult. 

    Thank you again for sharing your perspective here today, we hope that others can read this post and feel less alone in their own experience. Please feel free to update us if you are comfortable and would find that useful. 

    Kind regards, 
    Sophie M
  3. jaz28
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    jaz28 avatar
    509 posts
    20 April 2022 in reply to Fiatlux

    Hi there,

    I am sorry you are experiencing this. Some people are so heartless and unfortunately blissfully ignorant...

    The stigma surrounding suicide is probably why this person has acted this way. This is why it needs to be changed and awareness needs to spread - and why BB is here. If you ever need to reach out - come to the forums or contact the helpline on 1300 22 4636.

    Keep your head and know that all of us would never laugh - we are here for you. You are loved! and how you feel is valid - not laughable at all. I am sorry to hear about this. Some people are so heartless.

    Here to talk,

    jaz xx

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    2125 posts
    20 April 2022 in reply to Fiatlux

    Hi Fiatlux,

    Im so sorry this happened to you.

    This person doesn’t understand mental health and really doesn’t know what they are talking about.

    Please disregard what they have said to you because it deserves to be thrown away like trash and put in the bin where it belongs.

    You are human and you are loved.

    Im sorry you have been feeling this way, I understand it’s difficult.

    Please know we are here to support you, please reach out to us anytime.

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Karen0901
    Karen0901 avatar
    73 posts
    21 April 2022 in reply to Fiatlux

    I think these type of comments are just ignorance. They come from people who can't understand because they have not yet experienced it. They judge because they have had bad periods and feel like those who have reached depression and/or ideation are just not coping as well as they do with the same emotions or are attention seeking.

    I had an attempt in my teens. A few months after when I was doing a bit better, my Dad asked me why I was seeking attention. He thought anyone attempting is only doning it for attention. He didn't mean to hurt me with the comment and he has now experienced depression and ideation himself as a result of a untreatable cancer diagnosis. He is much more supportive now.

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Fiatlux
    Fiatlux avatar
    196 posts
    22 April 2022 in reply to Karen0901

    Thanks Karen,

    Now that I think about it, these thoughts would come and go even in my teens. I often thought that if life got too hard that I would go.

    In my 50’s now and life has been hard and I have always had the feeling that I was living life for others and not for myself. Why did I and why would I suffer so much. I was never in control of my own life. I had choices thrust upon me.

    I honestly think that I would not be missed, except by my children, maybe. Even they only contact me when they need something. I am always there for them.

    So the only reason keeping me here is the dreaded thought my children will really need me one day and that I won’t be here to help them. That and I don’t want to hurt them.

    I know that they care but I don’t and can’t look to them for support.

    The person who laughed at me is immature and still lives at home with his mother. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Suppose he thought that I just wanted sympathy or something. I have now severed ties with this person as they were emotionally draining.

  7. That Other Guy
    That Other Guy avatar
    125 posts
    22 April 2022 in reply to Fiatlux

    Some people laugh when something makes them nervous or challenges them. It doesn't always mean they think it's funny, it can mean they simply have no clue what to say. If you feel this person is immature that makes it seem more likely to me that this is what happened here.

    In any case, you can't control what other people do, you can only control yourself. I'm also 53, and pretty isolated. It can be tough, but you'll get there. I assume you mentioning only your kids means you are not married? Have you thought about dating again? I got on dating sites recently, assuming no woman would want to talk to me, and I made several good friends and had a relationship within 6 months. I'm no prize, I can assure you :) There's lots of lonely people out there, the hard part is meeting someone, if it's friendship or romance

    2 people found this helpful
  8. Karen0901
    Karen0901 avatar
    73 posts
    22 April 2022 in reply to Fiatlux

    I agree with That Other Guy, it is never to late to start living for yourself. Younger people can be judgemental about these things but that doesn't matter.

    My Dad was staying in a relationship he hated because he didn't believe anyone would want him. He quickly found out that there are lots of lonely people wanting to make a connection. There are so many people around that you could make a connection with, who would miss you if you were not around. It doesn't have to be a romantic relationship if you are not interested in that at the moment. You just need to weed through the ungrateful or self absorbed people.

    My Nanna became lonely in her 80's she made a relationship with a nice man, older than her. They didn't live together but he came to her house at least a few times a week. She lived to be 96 and he lived into his 90's as well. They had over 5 years together before he could no longer keep in contact. It's never to late.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Fiatlux
    Fiatlux avatar
    196 posts
    22 April 2022 in reply to Karen0901

    I am still married and have been separated on and off from my husband of 35 years since 2018.

    Covid isolation and lockdowns bought us back together, but I am not happy being back in the situation that I fled from.

    I am in no way even slightly interested in forming new connections with anyone.

    I am still dealing with the suicide of a close male friend.

    I don’t have the emotional capacity to deal with anyone else, especially with someone new.

    1 person found this helpful
  10. That Other Guy
    That Other Guy avatar
    125 posts
    22 April 2022 in reply to Fiatlux
    And that's OK. If you know what you want and need, then pursue that. I'm sorry about the loss of your friend :(
    1 person found this helpful
  11. Fiatlux
    Fiatlux avatar
    196 posts
    5 May 2022 in reply to That Other Guy

    Today I realised that I am a sponge for everyone.

    I absorb all their stress and anxiety and it’s making me sick.

    I work so damn hard at work and at home and then I collapse.

    Today at work I thought that I was going really well on a long outstanding project and actually achieving something. I made a little mistake and I am unsure how to fix it but neither does anyone else.

    Today I feel like throwing in the towel. Not only is my coworker critical of my work but lacks the knowledge to even be helpful.

    I yelled at him today and gave him a large piece of my mind. I am a jack and a Jill of all trades in my workplace. I just realised that I can do just about everyone else’s work, but not one of them can do any of mine.

    I took on a project rather than outsourcing the work to save the business time and money, and today my work gets mocked and critised by a person who Is dispensable.

    I am hurt, frustrated and exhausted. It’s so depressing.

  12. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6816 posts
    5 May 2022 in reply to Fiatlux
    Hi Fiatlux, 

    Thank you for your post today and for sharing your experience with this community. We are really sorry to hear about what you've been facing at your workplace. 

    We wanted to quickly jump back into this conversation to offer an oppurtunity to chat if you want to. We are here for you whenever you need on 1300 22 4636 or via our webchat
    If you do ever feel unsafe or that you are in crisis it is important to call 000 as this can be an emergency.  

    Please feel free to update us if you are comfotable and to have a look for other conversations that you resonate with. Thank you again for being an important and valued member of this community. 

    Kind regards ,
    Sophie M
  13. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    2125 posts
    5 May 2022 in reply to Fiatlux

    Hi Fiatlux,

    Im sorry this happened to you.

    Stop, stop allowing people to drain your energy.

    We can all learn how to react to someone or something, react in a way that it doesn’t disturb your inner calm.

    Give your energy to the people who truly deserve it and the others……. Just let them go and keep moving forward.

    1 person found this helpful
  14. P12
    P12 avatar
    40 posts
    5 May 2022

    When I read this post I wanted to share a sad experience that occurred to me today.

    Last week I organised a social event. Four people RSVPed but only one bothered to show up. Then when the one realised it would be only me and them, they declined to continue with the event. So I participated by myself.

    During the event I felt sad. I felt belittled by the other person and also those who didn't even show up. How am I supposed to meet others when I organise events in my interest area that no-one attends, and I am not accepted on events organised by others?

    I also thought about my negative experiences in psychotherapy. For the first time I realised that I stopped seeing a psychologist because I was worried about my welfare. Seeing the psychologist made me so sad with my life that I felt worthless and actually a detriment to the world. I feel better not seeing them, even though I have a mental illness.

  15. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    2125 posts
    5 May 2022 in reply to P12

    Hi P12,

    Im so sorry this happened to you.

    This is a reflection of the people who did this, it’s not you.

    Look at what they missed out on, Im sure you organised a great event.

    I understand your feelings P12 but keep trying… your people are out there and you will meet them.

    Im sorry your phycologists made you feel the way you felt.

    Maybe one day when your ready you could try a new psychologist.

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