Hello Pepper, a warm welcome to the site and I am so terribly sorry for all that you have lost, my heart opens up to you and know what you must be going through is horrendous.
I also appreciate that your dad could also be suffering the same way, but maybe keeping it all to himself, but giving him the help he needs I applaud you, as this could be difficult trying to hold yourself together, and that's not easy.
Can I ask you if your two gorgeous children are trying to cope or are they trying to hold you all together, even though they could be holding their feelings to themselves.
It's not pleasant to know what you feel you should concentrate on first as so much has unfortunately happened.
I offer you all my sympathy and may I suggest that if you could see a grieving counsellor by yourself or with your children may give you some relief, and even if it does, it doesn't take away the fact that you have lost so much.
My deepest thoughts.