I’m really sorry to learn of your struggles caring for your husband. I do understand your situation, as I have cared for my daughter who has a chronic MH condition for many years. You are not alone with this—sending you a hug.
You have already received some excellent responses, so I won’t repeat what’s been written but want to share two practical ideas that might be of use to you.
The first revolves around stigma. I totally understand your reluctance to talk to your family and friends, I felt the same. I didn’t want to betray my daughter’s trust and felt it wasn’t my place to share her story.
The trouble is that, like you, I felt utterly alone and unsupported. This isolation and stigma was almost worse than the impact of her illness. Imagine the difference if your husband was recovering from major surgery or if he had a broken leg or back. You would be surrounded by support and offers of assistance.
What I did was to explain how I was feeling to my daughter and ask her permission to disclose what was happening for me to my closest friends. Thankfully she understood and agreed. Once I had this support life got better.
The second idea relates to your husband’s apparent reluctance to seek professional help. It could be that he is overwhelmed, unwell and just can’t deal with “looking into it” right now. Could be he is lost in a maze, confused about how to get out and “stuck”.
This is something you could assist with. You can’t make him do anything but you could present him with local treatment options. If you ring the bb support line they can help to get you started or have a chat with your GP.
Bb also has two excellent publications called, What works for depression and What works for anxiety (titles may be slightly different but very similar, sorry my memory is failing me). The beauty of each of these brochures is that they are evidence-based and provide evaluation of various treatments.
The next step would be to discuss the pros and cons of the options and hopefully choose a path. You could continue to support him by offering to make the appointment, help with the administrative side and even go with him.
Please post any time. Our community will do its best to support you.
Kind thoughts to you