I hear you.
There were times during my daughter’s MH struggles over many years that I just wished the floor would open up and swallow me whole. Loved her to pieces but I really struggled.
Please don’t feel shame—ever. You are doing your best and it is really really hard. This is a safe space for you to speak your truth without the fear of judgment.
I’m so disappointed, but not entirely surprised, to hear about how your daughter’s psychologist spoke to you. It’s so ironic, because at the end of each day it will be you caring, loving, picking up the pieces or offering comfort, not the psychologist. Your daughter is lucky to have you.
I don’t know if these suggestions will help you but here’s some of the ways I got through …
First, I had a great counsellor. In between sessions I called the bb support line. They listened and offered a shoulder to lean on, even in the middle of the night.
I brought three close friends into my circle. I shared everything and they just listened but it really helped to feel less alone.
I also took at least half an hour each day to myself. Most often the only chance I got was when she was sleeping. So, I would have my tea before bed watching the night sky. I don’t know why this was so helpful but it was.
I also became very knowledgeable about my daughter’s condition. I searched for the right people and treatment to help, listened to my instincts and asked a lot of tough questions of the experts.
I didn’t know if my girl would make it, but thankfully she did. It can get better, so you just hang in there.
I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
Kind thoughts to you