I’m Kat.

just a quick question please!

what happens or is it just a different or new add on to your already clinical depression, if your watching your whole world just crumble all around you, not being able to do anything about it, realise yep it is actually happening, and then become weirdly happy? Even though inside your not but just saying that it doesn’t feel right. I feel so happy inside and out!

Hey Kat,

Thank you for sharing what's going on for you. It sounds like it might be a bit of a confusing time. Would you mind sharing a bit more about what's going on at the moment and what you're feeling?

If you'd like to talk this through with someone on the phone, our Support Service is always here for you. We'd love to hear from you. Sometimes it can be really good to talk things through, especially when we're feeling like there's a lot going on around us and we're surprised by our emotions. We're on 1300 22 4636, or you can reach us online here.

Thanks again for sharing, Kat. That's such an great thing to do in a time of big change, we hope you can see that. 

Kind regards, 

Sophie M

Hi Kat

can you share more about it? Are you describing a kind of paranoid feeling when having a mental breakdown? or you are describing the "weird" comforting feelings of "settling down" and "everything's over and that's it" that some people have? If it is the latter one, I used to have that weird feeling and some ppl also said they had it too.

Please feel free to share more 🙂

Hello Kat, hope you are still checking your thread because you have asked a good question.

It is possible when someone becomes depressed as you have said, that some people may feel happier, only because they aren't expected to make a decision, this is done by other people, plus they don't have to involve themselves in actually going along with what's been decided, so they can stay home, while the others leave them alone.

Thi is totally different than when you are involved in those decisions, where you may have to do what everyone else does, whether or not that's what you really want to do.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Hello Kat. I'm glad you've told us a little of what is going on for you. I'd like to hear more, to get a picture of the world you say is crumbling all around you. Can you tell us more about what's been happening?

Also, because you say you have clinical depression, are you talking regularly with a GP, Psychologist or Psychiatrist? Are theey aware of how you are feeling?

It does sound very puzzling to me, to feel happy while everything seems to be falling down around you, like you are in the middle, but not really part of it. Is that how you feel?

Hope to talk some more.

Warmly,

mmMekitty

Hi Kat?

Being depressed but also happy I imagine this must feel pretty confusing to you?

Hi, sorry for the late response. Life has been crazy.

I have 1 disabled 1:1 care child and 3 others, recently single.

I don’t feel that way atm. I now know what it is/was.

when The kids are sorted, I’ll reply to the lovely people who responded to me, which I appreciate a lot.

I have a friend who I have decided we can’t be around together. Our lives feel impossible at times. We came up with an idea, that we would do a Thelma and Louise. We tossed the coin and I’m Thelma. It felt so exciting to talk about what we were going to do before we drove of that cliff.

it’s become to close and something I could actually see us doing when we hit rock bottom together again. Which is every few days.

will come back, thanks

kat

Thank you Sophie.

it almost feels like too much to even try to explain.

when I wrote this post, I was scared. I was kind of hoping someone would say I was having some kind of psychotic episode.

I knew in my heart and in my head what it meant, it was just a scary feeling I guess. I gave up that day.
felt at peace and happy I was finally going to get to rest..

perhaps it was a psychotic episode, but with so much negative stuff happening in my life, it doesn’t feel psychotic, it feels normal. Like how a “normal” person would feel after enduring such trauma and narcissistic behaviour from the father of your children.

I live day by day.
I hate life. Always have struggled. I need to know what the whole point is..? No one knows that. And then people go on about oh it’s life lessons blah blah..

yes, I see the good between the bad. But the bad seems to outweigh the good.

my “saviour” husband, of 15 years had an affair with my sons carer and then made me out to look crazy to everyone.

it’s been a hard road. My parents can finally see the smiling Cheshire Cat or smiling assassin of an ex isn’t who they all thought he was. Meanwhe damage is done.

I don’t ever want to leave them with such a narcissist father. Questioning your own sanity because of him. Trying to prove its not you, it’s him.

 

Think it was the latter one.

knowing your about to be free. Too much has hit you and all you can see is an exit and it feels peaceful and it’s like your head just shuts down everything in life that does matter to you and your heading to where you want to be without thinking.

overwhelming

Thanks for your reply.

world crumbling down … hmm I don’t know. Maybe a sense of overwhelming stress that I just can’t take anymore. ?

I could add more but I’m honestly just tired. I live it every day. It’s hard to write about it. I’d need an author for a book. Sadly…

Hi kat, thanks for the replies.
I’m sorry that things have been tough and you have to live through it day by day. The kids, a cheating ex-partner, and the misunderstanding from the others.
Your feelings are valid, sometimes I reckon that for some people in struggles the overwhelming feeling is so huge that something that has been hanging up on their heart finally drops off. They are so tired that they don’t wanna care about anything anymore, which leads to a tranquil state of mind, strangely. And they may see this as a way out. People do have this kind of reaction, or in my opinion, I would see it as a strength.
It’s great to see you did a great job taking care of your kids, keep to yourself knowing that it’s not your fault.
I can’t imagine how tired you are at the moment, just want you to know you are welcome to share more anytime you feel comfortable. 🙂