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Forums / Anxiety / Anxiety - Feeling Alone, Like I am going crazy

Topic: Anxiety - Feeling Alone, Like I am going crazy

9 posts, 0 answered
  1. BeeBianca1
    BeeBianca1 avatar
    5 posts
    27 January 2014

    I recently posted on here, I was feeling positive with just starting medication and it feeling like the medication is working but then as you do with anxiety I got to thinking and over thinking, what if I can never come off medication, what if I am crazy?

    I have generalised anxiety, the physical effects of my anxiety are intense sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach, tight chest, chest cramps, rapid breathing, headaches, dizziness, not being able to sit still etc followed my the feeling of complete panic and fear my mind over nothing in particular then my mind starts to go off on tangents about anything and everything - My anxiety doesn't feel like its over anything in particular and the worst thing is it happens around the people and places I consider 'safe' like at home, around my boyfriend or out and about - anywhere! Its like I have no where to turn nowhere will it stop. When it first started the symptoms and thoughts were constant, non stop and completely over the top, I couldn't control what I was thinking the only way I can describe it is like my brain had been split in half one positive side and one negative side and they were fighting with each other to stay in control. This immediately got me to assume that I must be crazy something that I repeated in my head over and over it wouldn't stop.

    The problem I find the hardest is that my anxiety never turns into a full blown anxiety attack where I hyperventilate and eventually it goes away or at least that's what I think people have?, it stays at the constant panic stage and how can I help myself or calm myself down when I don't know where this anxiety has come from or what has caused it.

    Does any one else feel like this? or am I going crazy? I am on medication, I see a psychologist and I am doing everything in my power to overcome this but sometimes I feel beat, and when it happens it feels like it will never end! like I am the only one out there and I then find it hard to even take the word of a psychologist that I am not 'crazy' because it feels so different to every post that I have read. I feel defeated and alone!

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  2. JessF
    JessF avatar
    1301 posts
    28 January 2014 in reply to BeeBianca1

    Hi BeeBianca1, the thing about anxiety is that it's a fault in the 'fight or flight' part of our brains. It's the 'red alert' bit that's supposed to come on when there's something we're genuinely supposed to be afraid of, like back in the cave days when we were having to outrun the tigers. Anxiety is like having the switch stuck on red alert. I like to think of it as being no different to having a pancreas that doesn't produce enough insulin (diabetes).  Crazy is such a harsh judgment that we place on ourselves.  Would it be so bad if you had to keep taking medication, in the same way a diabetic does?  Does that make you a weak person?  No I don't think it does.  But speaking of medication, it should be able to keep the worst of the panic under control. Maybe go back to the doctor and have it revisited?

  3. jess334
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    jess334 avatar
    145 posts
    29 January 2014 in reply to BeeBianca1

    Hi BeeBianca, 

    You're not crazy, I've had that feeling of constant anxiety, where you feel like you're on edge the whole time.  It's horrible and after a few hours or days of this I feel like I'm going to have a break down if I can't get a rest from the anxiety. 

    Luckily, after finally finding the right dose of the right medication that feeling faded. Now I still have panic and anxiety, but it only happens every now and then and it fades. I agree with JessF, revisit your doctor, if you've been on medication for a few months and you're still having those feelings then maybe a change in medications could help.  It can takes ages to find the right medication -  it took me a year. 

    Stay in touch and let us know how it goes. 

     

  4. sos54
    sos54 avatar
    22 posts
    31 January 2014 in reply to BeeBianca1
    You are definately not going crazy. Anxiety is EXHAUSTING. My experience is like yours it doesn't build up into an 'attack' and then go away it is just there tiring you out trying to deal with it inwardly. I agree definitely talk to your dr it may just be you need medication adjusted to help. I also think take time to relax - try and do some things you love. even try learning to meditate as I resisted for ages but when I did found it very helpful. My mind races constantly and relaxation just helps give you time to recoup. I had a period where I was like you and they happened all the time at home when i really thought I had no reason to be anxious. I did online therapy as I couldn't even go out to a Dr and while I have problems that come and go Life does get better and easier and yours will too. I thought I was dying or had some serious illness at the time and have no idea what triggered it to be so bad. You are not alone I am sure many people feel as you do. Take care and come back to chat.
  5. BeeBianca1
    BeeBianca1 avatar
    5 posts
    1 February 2014 in reply to jess334

    Hi Guys,

     

    Thank you for your reassuring comments :)

     

    I am going to see my psychologist and have an appointment in just under a month to see my doctor its defiantly better that what it was but your right its just exhausting and scary but I am trying hard to fight it.

     

    I will keep you posted and thank you all so much for the kinds words it makes me feel less alone.

     

    Its nice to know im not alone!

  6. sos54
    sos54 avatar
    22 posts
    3 February 2014 in reply to BeeBianca1
    That is great to hear BeeBianca. Every little step you take will make you feel better and more confident. Looking forward to hearing how you are going.:)
  7. Mary89
    Mary89 avatar
    14 posts
    20 February 2014 in reply to BeeBianca1

    Hi Bianca, 

    no you are not crazy. I have felt exactly the same as you. 

    I have experienced panic attacks but the main problem was the constant feelings anxiety that never went away. My symptoms included chest tightness, feeling constantly breathless, headaches, dizziness and nausea. These were experienced throughout the day, not just during a panic attack.

    The worst part of it was that I was convinced I was going crazy. I literally thought that no one else in the world could possibly feel like this and I was actually a crazy person. My anxiety was not in response to a particular event or place and I couldn't even grasp what my anxiety was about but I just had this feeling that something bad was going to happen. Then I would experience the physical symptoms and I would convince myself I was dying. I would experience these feelings and sensations when I was with my boyfriend and my family.

    I am a person who on the outside looks one hundred percent fine but on the inside I felt like I was turning into a crazy person.

    i have not taken medication however I have seen a psychologist. What sort of treatment is your psychologist using? Mine has used the Mindfulness approach, which is part of Acceptance and Commitment theory, I highly recommend it. Before treatment I was experiencing anxiety24 hours a day at a very high level, say 8/10. During treatment my anxiety was down to about a 3/10. And this was without any medication. Now I am feeling pretty much anxiety free. Just so you know, treatment can work. My anxiety started in September last year, peaked in October and now by February I am feeling back to normal.

    also, I had never experienced any anxiety prior to last year so it was very scary to experience it all of a sudden.

    I hope this helps.

  8. Mary89
    Mary89 avatar
    14 posts
    20 February 2014 in reply to BeeBianca1

    Also just in regard to medication. I know we all want a quick fix and I wish we could have an instant cure for anxiety but unfortunately this is not the case. I am not sure what medication you are taking but they key to treating anxiety is via psychological treatment so if you want to focus on anything I would focus on psychology. Not to say medication can't help but it's not going to 'cure' you so to speak. I chose not to take any medication as I wanted to see if psychology would help and it definitely can.

  9. moomoo
    moomoo avatar
    3 posts
    4 March 2014

    Hi there,

     

    Your post made me cry!!!! the reason for this is you have described my exact life! I am just speechless, your description on how you feel is mind blowing because now I know I am not alone!!!

    I would like to share more stories with you and maybe we can learn from each other.

    Thank you for posting your story as you have already let me see there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Hope to hear from you :)

     

    Moo

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