Thanks missep 123.

That is very lovely of you to say.

I have had a few rough patches but getting there keeping my mind off myself and staying busy and in the moment for me is important. Little steps little wins. Hope you are doing some things you enjoy and are having a good day.

Sarahbelle

I'm doing okay for now! Looking forward to better days ahead, but also prepared if that isn't in the cards. As you say, one step at a time.

Great mentality uncut_gems and Sarahbelle!

It's so nice to be able to support each other during times like these :)

We can do it!

Hello Gems and missep 123.

Yes I agree the support from one another is so important especially at the moment. A friendly word is showing care and can certainly make the day a little brighter. I don't feel I have to hide myself, my feelings as you understand.

Today I went into a shop Big W - first time in over 4 weeks! Very surreal-like I was on another planet - did it! but was glad to get home.

Hope you are doing well and the weekend brings lovely moments.

Sarahbelle.

Proud of you Sarahbelle! :)

Hi missep 123 and Gems (and all who might read this)

Hope you a going okay and the week ahead is easier for you that some previous ones.

I am going okay - had a bit of a rocky day yesterday just felt sad and lonely reflecting back on the year gone by since this time last year and so much happened - the loss of my mum whom I was very close to - and so so much since. I got a weird feeling ---If I was to disappear would anyone (apart from my son and dog) really notice? It sat with me for a while-----

So I put on my coat - went out in the rain and took my dog to the park, she is a border collie, she had a great time. She ended up muddy and happy. When we got home gave her a warm shower and fluffed her up with the hairdryer. I also felt easier. Sometimes thoughts come but working on that being okay but letting them go - this takes real effort for me sometimes - but I know I do get through it.

Thanks for listening to me.

Sarahbelle

Hi Sarahbelle,

I agree, it can be really tough to have certain thoughts pop into our heads and to learn to be okay with them and let them go. It definitely takes practice! Even for myself I believe the more I practice it, the better I can get at it. Our brains are so used to being wired a certain way so when we show them a new way of thinking, things can start changing.

I think it's really great that you took the initiative to get out and go on a walk in response to the thoughts. I really like the outcome that your dog was happy and that you felt a little bit better.

One thing that I am also practicing is to 'go to my happy place'. It sounds cheesy but when I have been doing guided meditations they tell you to remember a time that made you really happy and observe how it feels in your body. If I'm stressed I try to breathe and remember that happy thought and feeling and it helps to make myself feel better. I then understand that it's all going to be okay.

Always here for you!

Thanks so much missep 123, your comments mean a lot to me. I like the happy place too - need to make time to go there more often --- cheesy or uncheesy a nice place to sit for a while.

Today have buried my head in work - policy stuff so pretty dry but a task that has no emotion just get it done and treat it like a school assignment.........just finished YAY!

Thanks for being there for me, much appreciated.

Sarahbelle.

Hi Sarahbelle,

I agree! Our happy place is a nice place to sit for a while. It also helps me remind myself that it is possible to continue making new happy memories whenever and wherever they may be.

Good work! That's a great accomplishment! It can be hard to get motivated and complete dry tasks so I say go you! :)

Hi missep and Sarahbelle,

I'm so glad to hear that you are finding techniques that are helping you to manage during all this. I had a tough day on Monday with my thoughts spiraling with lots of "what-ifs" about the pandemic, but yesterday my therapist reminded me that instead of engaging with these thoughts, letting them drag me along, or even challenge, them, I could instead recognize that they are unhelpful and picture myself "unhooking" from them.

It's a great phrase and mental image that I wanted to share.

Now that restrictions are easing slightly, is there anything you two have been able to do for the first time now? Would love to hear more about how you're going.

Warmly,

Gems

Hi Gems and missep.

It is so weird how we can be travelling okay and then all of a sudden the bad patch comes along, often I cannot understand what triggered it - how about you?

For the first time today I went into three shops one after the other --- must say I knew what I wanted, bought it and left but I did it. When I hopped back in the car and started driving I all of a sudden felt shaky inside that I had a strange surreal feeling like the world was so changed. By the time I got home the feeling disappeared and my world didn't fall apart and nothing bad happened.

I am really trying to focus on what is real for now and be present because I can let the "what ifs" take me over. It is step by step, day by day and some days it is just okay to be not okay.

Have either of you ever done deep guided meditation if so have you any feedback about it?- it has been suggested that I think about giving it a try the only meditation I do is Smiling Mind and I must say my mind does wander off.

Have a restful evening and take care, Sarahbelle.

Hi uncut_gems and Sarahbelle! - I really like that mentality, thank you so much for sharing! I also find myself getting 'hooked' onto thoughts. My mind can ruminate about things over and over at times and it is so exhausting! Being freed from the cycle definitely takes a lot off my shoulders.

I have been able to see a small group of my friends finally! We usually met up every week before COVID and now we were able to reunite and it was so fun! I felt so happy afterwards. Is there anything that you have been able to do now?

I totally agree Sarahbelle, bad patches can come out of nowhere and it's hard to know why it was triggered. I think you handled it so well though! I know what you mean about feeling like the world was so changed, at least this is just the beginning of 'returning to normal' so I hope it does return to a normal that we used to know or at least close to it!

I can't say that I have tried deep guided meditation but I definitely want to! I think I will try it before I go to sleep!

Hi missep 123 and Gems,

Hope you are doing okay and have something over the weekend to look forward to. I was going to get into the garden and do some tidying up and planting but a bit too windy at the moment so I will do some craft work instead.

I just wanted to say thank you to you both as you have really been so supportive in helping me get through this rough patch - just knowing there is someone who cares at the other end can make a big difference.

I have finally plucked up the courage and have seen a psychologist - this is new for me as I have always tried to manage the anxiety and down times myself and I think I was in denial for a long time. I did feel more relieved after speaking with her. I haven't told anyone about going to a psychologist - not sure I will - not through shame maybe about possible judgements, or worrying people - I don't know. I'll wait a bit and see.

I am going okay - hope you are too.

Thanks again for your posts, take care.

Sarahbelle.

Hi Sarahbelle,

Of course! We are always here for you :) It really does feel so much better knowing that someone is there who cares!

That's awesome that you went to see a psychologist! It can really help to have a professional that we can speak to as we don't realise how much we are carrying on our own shoulders on a daily basis.

Thanks missep 123.

That is so true - I really was unaware of all the loss and hurts I am carrying. Just tried to get on with things put my needs away.

What she made me realise is just how tired I have become I didn't realise the tank was so empty.

I have had a nice day with my son - did some gardening and took the dog for a walk. Now better get ready for work tomorrow.

Hope you have had a lovely day too.

Sarahbelle

It's true! Sometimes we just don't realise how much we are carrying. I like your analogy of an empty tank, I relate to that! It's important to fill our tank with things we enjoy and make sure we take care of ourselves so we can keep going.

It sounds like you had a lovely day! :)

OMG honestly Covid is like we have taken a trip too far inside our heads. Stay strong its the crazy covid times talking. We will come out of this stronger you deserve lots of self-care give yourself extra TLC during this time.

Thank you Littleballofpositivity,

Be kind to yourself too.

Hello Gems and Missep123.

I hope you are both keeping well and finding enjoyable things to do. I think we are all going to have to adjust to a new kind of normal in our lives and that will mean changes for all of us and differences in out lifestyles which may cause some grief but hopefully some new opportunities too.

I am working from home but think next week will begin to get back to school - I must say I am feeling some pressure to return from the boss even though I have a Dr certificate, but on the other hand maybe I need to as the only person I have spent time with since March is my son and i have become a bit phobic to being near others not to mention spending time with them. I feel the pit in my stomach thinking about it but also know I have to make the break sometime and will go in a couple of days a week only at the moment.

I wish you both peace and happiness as you also face the new challenges ahead. I wonder what they are for you? I hope we can still share with one another as I value your thoughts, ideas and the connection.

Hope the sun is shining for you today,

Sarahbelle.

Hi Sarahbelle

Returning to work and routine can be so tricky! I think a progressive return starting with a few days a week is a good way to integrate back. I'm the same, I loved spending time at home with my family and I know that I will miss it once I am working. I have been able to see the positives though! I was stood down for quite a few months due to Covid. No work for two months meant I was getting a bit antsy to work again. I actually start my new job next week so I'm really excited :)

I love the support we are all providing to each other! :)

Hi Missep123,

Congratulations on your new job. may it be all you hope for and much more.

I have just been to see my psychologist today and spoke about returning to work plan the plan to go back part time and work back to full time. She was against it and wants me to have a good 6 week break and during that time no working at home - I have so much sick leave so no problems there. She is going to contact my Dr for a talk about it. The psychologist feels I am burnt out and exhausted and the Covid pandemic was the cherry on the icecream. I am really worried about this as I have worked in my field for over 30 years and have never crossed this path before. I don't know what to do - I feel I am letting people down and giving in. I have always been pretty resilient after many bumps and now I feel exhaused. Trying to look at different perspectives but finding it too hard.

Thanks for listening,

Sarahbelle.

Hi Sarahbelle!

Thank you very much for those kind words!

As you mentioned, you have worked over 30 years in the field (which is amazing!). To be honest, burnout unfortunately is a very normal thing to encounter. We try our best to avoid it but sometimes we push our bodies or minds too far or the expectations or deadlines pile on top of us. Because of the fast-paced nature of the work environment these things can happen. Taking care of yourself and your wellbeing is a number one priority. Workplaces are organised and structured enough to make sure they are able to fill in the gaps until you return. You have shown a lot of resilience! You are resilient. Even the most resilient people though can find vulnerabilities. I've seen this in my own experience. It's totally okay to take a breather! I hope these words have helped you, I'm always here to chat about how you are going :)

Thank you Missep123, I agree with you. I feel I have reached the stage where I have to slow down a bit just for me. It has been a tough for a while and I know I am on remote control in many ways - what I am showing to others in my coping is not how I feel on the inside and this is getting harder and I am scared to show the cracks.

A little time off will give me some permission just to breathe and smell the roses, (even though they don't bloom in Winter - ha ha). I am actually now feeling happy to have this break for a few weeks.

Hope your new job goes well and brings joy to you. Looking forward to hearing your news.

Take good care,

Sarahbelle,

Hi Gem's,

Just a note to say Hi and checking you are okay.

I am having a few weeks off work just for a break. Time to catch my breath.

Hope life is being kind to you,

Sarahbelle.

Hi Sarahbelle,

So good to hear from you. I needed a bit of time away from the forums last week but am back ready to go :) How are you going with your much-needed and much-deserved break? How are you spending your free time?! I think this is a great opportunity for you to spend time with your son, going for walks with your dog, and relaxing however you like, but also maybe a chance to slowly start venturing out a bit more if you feel up to it?

I have found that "baby steps" being around other people have helped my health anxiety around all of this. It may just be because the US (where I'm from) is so bad by comparison, but I'm encouraged by the consistently low numbers of new community infections here in Australia.

Warmly,

Gems

Thanks Gems,

It was lovely to hear from you too.

I hope all your loved ones in the US are doing okay. I have a cousin and his family in Chicago and from his accounts very hard place to be right now.

Having a lazy day, taken the dog for a walk in the sun and had a chat on the phone with a friend. Nice not to worry about work. My boss was supportive when I told her I have some sick leave so now I can rest on that front.

Hope your day is going well,

Sarahbelle.

Hi uncut_gems and Sarahbelle!

I'm sorry that I have been away from the forums for a while!

Recently my perfectionism has caused me to put too much pressure on myself! I started a new job and I was tough on myself and disappointed I wasn't getting the hang of it yet. Do you guys ever feel like that?

How have you guys been?

Hi missep123 and Gems,
I really believe when you have anxiety and other things happening we feel we need to try even harder to do a good job for fear of letting others down or see us as we are. We often are the ones who put the pressure on ourselves and often do not notice it immediately. missep 123 you are very brave starting a new job at this time when everything is upside, try to be kind to yourself and believe in your abilities, perfectionism can make this hard.
At the moment I am taking things slowly. My psychologist has told me I am burnt out so have to rest. All I want is to be at home in a quiet space and shut out the world. I have been assured that with rest and support all will be okay. Step by step.
Missep 123 and Gems these uncertain times are so tough on all, it would be great to have a magic wand and make all okay in so many ways.
Talk to you soon, take good care
Sarahbelle.

Thank you so much for the support!

It is so true, being a perfectionist or trying to be perfect really does feel like so much pressure. I spoke to my partner about how I was feeling and he told me a great quote 'Progress before perfection'. That really hit me! It's so true, picking up new things, especially challenging ones at that can make it difficult to master at first. I realise that I have a bad habit where if I don't pick up something immediately then I don't like it and I want to run away from it i.e. quit prematurely.

I think that rest is very underrated. It can really help us feel like ourselves again. You give so much to the forums and to those around you, it's so important to take care of yourself too!

Hi missep123 and Sarahbelle,

How were your weekends? What missep says about rest being underrated is so right on; I hope you've been able to enjoy your sick leave. I think one thing we don't have very good language to talk about when it comes to exhaustion is the "type"– for example physical exhaustion from walking all day, mental exhaustion from intellectual strain, or emotional exhaustion from trying personal times.

And then of course there is exhaustion that comes over a long, long period of time, for example working in the same field for 30 years. I would be very curious as to what the science behind that is!

In any case, I think sleep is great for each of them, but that "cognitive rest" is also a very underrated form of relaxation. How have both of your anxiety been in the past week or so, as the good news COVID-wise continues to roll in here?