Hi Lillymoo2 -
Sorry about the delay in someone responding to your post. How are you feeling?
It sounds like you're finding it difficult to connect with most things in the world around you, including the people in your life. Can I ask, are you still having conversations with them? Are they reaching out to you? Or, do you find it difficult to chat with them?
I know that I definitely have days when I don't feel "connected" with people and just want to be left alone. I think that's pretty normal. But, after a while, I want to be around people.
It's so great that you've reached out and posted how you are feeling about not being able to connect with anything. Besides the forum, have you told any friends or family members how you feel about that depersonalization? Would you feel comfortable reaching out? I've found it to be amazing - the number of people that will listen and support you, if you can just reach out. It's hard, I know - but can be so worth it.
I hear you when you say you feel as if you're losing control. Things in my mind seem to pile up as well and I can tend to feel like I don't have a lot of control. But, if you're feeling like you want to end it, please consider talking to someone.
The Suicide Call Back Service provides 24/7 telephone, online-chat and video counselling. You can sign up for free video and online chat counselling on their website: https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/need-to-talk/
The beyondblue Support Service (1300 22 4636) can arrange for you to be taken to hospital if you are feeling at immediate risk of suicide or self-harm.
Lifeline is also trialing a text service. So if you're not feeling up to talking, you can text with someone here: 0477 13 11 14.
And of course, I'm here to talk on the forum, along with countless of others that care about you and will listen without judgement.
Please let us know how you are feeling and stay safe.