Hi all, I’ve been finding threads of this site when I research how to overcome my fears, however first time poster.
I have a fear of asbestos which is tearing my family apart. I continuously obsess over my partners belongings which have come from his old house which had an asbestos roof. We now live together with 2 young children. It triggered when we were working on his house to sell it while I was pregnant and now it’s just getting worse. I won’t let my children near his dog which sleeps in the garage with his belongings. He has a boat parked up our driveway which I think has asbestos fibres from being parked next to his old house. If he goes near the garage, the boat or the dog I have a secret anxiety attack and I believe life would be much easier if me and the children moved out. I can’t leave the house if he is home as I don’t want him walking through the house without watching where he has been so I can clean after him. I can’t go out with my friends for drinks as I don’t want to leave the children with him, I’m scared he will let the dogs into my ‘safe zone’. I can’t live normally and it’s just all too much. Have tried medication and psychologist nothing is working. He doesn’t support me just says I’m crazy and my phobia doesn’t exist. It causes massive arguments as I won’t open windows on one side of the house or let the children in certain parts of the yard. How does one overcome these obsessive and compulsive thoughts?

Hello Ocd queen, anybody who doesn't have this illness can not believe how we think, they believe our thoughts are unreasonable and can not accept what we have to do, so how can understand why we have to check the door lock not once, but 3 or 4 times, they don't know the pressure OCD puts on us.

I also have someone close to me who also has this OCD asbestos fear, fortunately, he had the shed removed by qualified tradesmen after much worry.

If the asbestos is wet it doesn't prove to be a problem, but once it's cut or broken then it is a real concern, however, your only option is to live somewhere else and for your partner to take all of his clothes off before he sees you, place them in a plastic bag and then put them through the wash without anything else in the washing.

Ask him to read 'Asbestos OCD' and to understand that it's not only you who has this fear but many others.

Geoff.

Hi Geoff, thanks for your reply however I think you are confused with my post. Our house and shed/garage (which is brick anyway) is too new to have asbestos, well it is right on the border so was built 1988 but we did have our laundry fibro wall tested and it wasn’t asbestos so my concern doesn’t relate to our house, it is his belongings from his old house. That’s the part that’s making me crazy.

A house in my neighbourhood still has an asbestos roof - I tend to cross the street to distance myself from any stray contamination. Maybe irrational, but no point taking chances!
I also heard of workers in the industry who had dust on their clothing which became airborne in the preparation for the weekly wash.
That said, an undisturbed asbestos roof poses very little risk of inhaling the hazardous fibres.
You mentioned fear of contamination of his belongings - unless he stored them on the roof, it is unlikely they would have been compromised in any way. Anything inside the house would not lead to permeation through the insulation or ceiling. The boat would have been covered (?) or washed many times since.
While preparing to sell the house, was any work done to the roof that may give credence to your concerns? If so, having regular checkups might help to allay fears.
Perhaps it's time to remove/sell the belongings in the garage, or build a dog house for the pooch (a little bigger if partner also needs a break!...).
Attenuating your lives and happiness together is causing a great deal of stress - your phobia is real and valid regardless of the probability, and it would help if your partner went some way to accommodate your wishes to eliminate any perceived risk.

Hi OCD queen,

Im really sorry you are going through this.

I understand OCD, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety OCD by a psychiatrist I have now recovered from this condition thanks to the help of health professionals…..

I understand how severe the anxiety is with obsessive compulsive disorder it’s horrible………

My gp put me on a antidepressant to help me to manage my anxiety I also did an 8 week group therapy for my OCD……. The therapy I did was meta cognitive therapy ….. it was an intervention into the OCD….it changed my life…. It’s were I learned to master my OCD…..

I have written two threads you may be interested in reading

From someone who had OCD and recovered

Effective treatment for OCD Metacognitive therapy

Please ask me any thing, you aren’t alone

Hello Ocd queen, thanks, the person I was talking about was in the same position as you.

Best wishes.

Geoff.