Great suggestions! I especially like Babe Rainbow- Zeitgeist. I can't stop playing it now.
I think your friend is right, and I also agree with that quote.
I've been in a situation several times with someone who responded similarly to my anxiety attacks. It's the worst. I was treated like a freak. People can be really cruel. You are right that in that situation in the city he, again, should have been more mature and supportive. Being let down in the precise moment when you need the person to bring their A game hurts, badly. I mean, how can you trust them? My ex would make everything 10 times worse at the exact wrong moment, the moment when the most damage could be done, like your ex walking away in the city. She became a trigger eventually.
So, is being with a guy like that what is best for you, your self-esteem, your anxiety?
Why does he care what you're wearing? Honestly. Just silly. You aren't his accessory. I'd say find people who appreciate your idiosyncrasies, style and personality. It's easy to get stuck on shitty people who will never appreciate us, or celebrate our virtues. You can waste a life-time on them. To keep hoping they'll approve. They never will though. You have to search for people who are suited to you. I wasted years in friendship groups that were toxic, only to discover that my ideal friends were just around the corner (metaphorically speaking). Just had to look. I think the same is true of partners, so you are definitely not "unlovable and nobody will ever want me due to me being so ‘childish’ and strange with my choices in clothing".
Based off what you've said he also has a proclivity for barbed and sharp speech, calling you 'a child' for example. He'll have to work on that or he will face problems throughout life. Not a charming quality.
I understand the fact that you miss him, I know the feeling. I don't have an answer to that, or how to deal with it. Wish I knew. It's just one of those things in life we have to deal with. The only thing that has worked mildly for me is focusing on trying to accept the situation and outcome for what it is. And not thinking about them, and focusing on my own life and personal growth.
The question is what are you going to do now? Which direction are you heading in? What are your goals and desires? A breakup is also a space where you can articulate some of your core values in life.