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Forums / Anxiety / Im feeling overwhelmed.Loneliness and guilt.Dont want to lose friends.

Topic: Im feeling overwhelmed.Loneliness and guilt.Dont want to lose friends.

  1. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    352 posts
    6 May 2022 in reply to Beaser

    Heya Brett,

    It certainly can get scary when starting a new job. You lose the convenience of taking leave whenever you need, in exchange for a new role that you have no idea about. If it helps in any way, perhaps you could see your choices as Options rather than right or wrong. The options you choose will lead to an outcome that can either be great or challenging. But regardless of the outcome, know that you're more than capable in handling it, because humans strive to survive. There's always something that can be learned and appreciated from an outcome, and it'll always better you for the future.

    Curious to know more, what is it in your current job that you feel is demoralizing and demotivating you from continuing there?

    Jt

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Beaser
    Beaser avatar
    117 posts
    7 May 2022 in reply to jtjt_4862

    Hi and thanks again JT .

    In regards to my work it has just become a very negative environment with big staff turnover. There is a lot of negativity and complaining . I just find myself going through the motions and getting through the day as best as possible . I have found myself lying awake at night dreading the thought of going to work and spending Sundays dreading the week ahead . i think that is a sign in itself . Brett Always great to hear from you .

  3. Beaser
    Beaser avatar
    117 posts
    8 May 2022 in reply to Beaser
    Sorry about the missing punctuation at the end LOL
  4. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
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    jtjt_4862 avatar
    352 posts
    9 May 2022 in reply to Beaser

    Heya Brett,

    Is the negativity and complaining going towards you? Or are they in the form of gossips around the office? A toxic environment is not a great place to be working in, and if it's already affecting your mental health, then you're right that it's a sign to leave the place for something else.

    There's also the option of trying to make a change in your current workplace, so that the environment improves for the company, which also improves for you too. But that takes tremendous effort, and it requires management to acknowledge and recognize that there is an issue in the workplace. If you've voiced out your opinion and management have brushed it off, then it is definitely time to look for other opportunities else where.

    Jt

  5. Beaser
    Beaser avatar
    117 posts
    9 May 2022 in reply to jtjt_4862

    Hi and thanks again JT . I couldnt say the negativity is directed at me ,i just feel it is a workplace with a lot of unhappy and uninspired people. I work in a physical outdoors environment and i can distance myself to some extent . I have done this for a long time and im tired of it . I have also confided in several colleagues and they think im doing the right thing. Im scared and on edge about starting a new job but maybe thats the price i need to pay to be happier in life . I worry if i can handle a new job but i feel its my best option .

    Thank you again JT always good to hear from you .

  6. Beaser
    Beaser avatar
    117 posts
    11 May 2022

    Hi and best wishes to everyone .

    Really battling at the moment as i just feel so alone and dont know who to turn too . Im scared of falling into despair again . I spoke to my phycologist yesterday and he thinks im doing the right things with a job change and handling my break from my partner. Its just so much to have going on .. Best wishes to everyone Brett .

  7. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6814 posts
    11 May 2022 in reply to Beaser
    Dear Beaser,
     
    We are sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time recently, but we’re glad to hear your psychologist thinks you’re on the right track. You have been making a lot of difficult and life changing decisions recently and we just wanted to remind you we’re here if you feel overwhelmed and need a chat.
     
    So, if you need us, we are always here for you. If you feel you need to talk or honestly just need a chat, please contact Beyond Blue either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support
     
    Warm regards
    Sophie M
     
    1 person found this helpful
  8. Beaser
    Beaser avatar
    117 posts
    11 May 2022 in reply to Sophie_M
    Thanks Sophie. Real battle for me at the moment but doing my best. Brett
  9. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
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    jtjt_4862 avatar
    352 posts
    13 May 2022 in reply to Beaser

    Hi Brett,

    Hope you're doing well. It is indeed a tough battle, and you're really doing your best navigating and dealing with all the problems that you are facing at the moment. Sometimes it's okay to admit defeat, retreat and recuperate, so that you can come back to the battle again tomorrow with a fresher mind. When you retreat and recuperate, you may come across things and ideas that you never thought of that may help you with your battle.

    Happy to listen to you more if you'd like to share what is on your mind.

    Jt

  10. Beaser
    Beaser avatar
    117 posts
    16 May 2022 in reply to jtjt_4862

    Hi and Thanks JT .

    Got through the weekend ,spent Saturday at my local football club . That was good for me , Sunday was a bit tough just went to my local and then to my friends place . I have been texting and spoke to my ex on the phone. Maybe not a good thing and going against what im being told by people i respect here and by friends . Im not sure about the best way to handle things if im honest im feeling very lonely . I have no family to talk with or visit .The football club has become my family and safe place. Im 56 and im feeling a bit fragile about life ahead. I have become very much a creature of habit with where i go and where i feel safe ,It makes me a bit sad but its the way i have become and i cant help it . Thanks JT. Be great to hear back from you or any other BB members Brett .

  11. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
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    jtjt_4862 avatar
    352 posts
    23 May 2022 in reply to Beaser

    Hi Brett,

    It will certainly make things harder for you to heal thru the heartbreak if you're still in contact with her, and she too needs the space to heal. Is there something that you've been wanting to do, but couldn't do when you were in a relationship? For example wood work, or golf, or collecting vinyl records? You could use the free time that you once did not have to look into new hobbies that might tickle your interest.

    You mention that you're a creature of habit, can you help me understand that a bit more on this? Do you mean when you pick places to go, you tend to pick the ones that you're familiar with, or know that you will be safe there? And while you would like to explore new places or people, you are afraid to do so because you're unsure about the outcome that would happen if you do go to those unknown places, or meet new people?

    Jt

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Beaser
    Beaser avatar
    117 posts
    24 May 2022 in reply to jtjt_4862

    Hi and thanks for your reply JT.

    I think you could probably say ,yes i do like to stick to things i have long been familiar with . I think my anxiety and nerves play a big factor in this . While i think people would say i was a friendly person im probably not the most confident or outgoing . I have thrown myself in to doing more hours volunteering behind the bar at my Football club ,this is good as it forces me to interact with people without to much need for small talk . I wouldnt say i was unsure about meeting new people. I guess its just i feel more comfortable around old friends . Thanks again JT. Happy to describe my situation further Brett

  13. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    352 posts
    27 May 2022 in reply to Beaser

    Hi Brett,

    Thank you for your explanation. Please do share more, as I'd like to understand your point of view.

    Do you sometimes feel, you'd like to be more outgoing and exploring new places and meeting new people? Or are you happy with the way you are right now with things (i.e having a group of old friends, and keeping to going to places where you're familiar with?)?

    Jt

  14. Beaser
    Beaser avatar
    117 posts
    28 May 2022 in reply to jtjt_4862

    Hi JT

    If im totally honest im probably just happy with the people i see and the places i go .

    Although things have changed a bit for me post covid lockdowns im probably more that way than ever. Ive decided to be a bit more honest with myself and even with other people about what im comfortable with. Its actually been a bit more comfortable for me to be who i am ,if that makes sense. I need to take care of myself. I know at times its also important to push yourself out of your comfort zone and i am doing my best in that regard. Thanks again Brett.

    I

  15. Beaser
    Beaser avatar
    117 posts
    30 May 2022
    Hi i hope everyone is well . I have found things pretty tough of late.. I have a job interview today and that makes me nervous. Am i doing the right thing i ask myself. I now that my current job is causing me much depression and anxiety. Dreading Mondays and not sleeping .. All my friends say that is a sign i need to change jobs . Im also going through a relationship breakup and that makes me sad.. I guess im looking at the things i miss and glosssing over the problems we had.. Not having family and living alone makes this all so hard. I hope everyone has a happy Day . brett
  16. Beaser
    Beaser avatar
    117 posts
    30 May 2022
    Had a friendly chat with my former partner today. She says she struggles with my love of being and helping at my footy club. Well i dont think im doing anything wrong and i feel that volunteering and helping there are in my best interests. She also finds it hard that i know everyone in my town and everybody says hello to me. Im actually proud of that and i think it shows my reputation and standing in my community. I feel i have done nothing wrong and why should i drop these things . Brett
  17. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
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    jtjt_4862 avatar
    352 posts
    31 May 2022 in reply to Beaser

    Heya Brett,

    Hopefully your job interview went well. We can only tell what's on the other side when we take that step, and whatever lies on the other side, you'll be alright.

    If you found that there's nothing wrong with what you're doing (i.e the volunteer work, and your reputation in your community), and that you shouldn't be dropping those things that means the most to you, then perhaps the relationship ended due to a mismatch in values between yourself and your former partner, and things were not meant to be. With that, the best thing to do would be to go separate ways, keep moving forward, and appreciate the times you've had with her. Perhaps someone better would appear in your life at a later time, someone who is more supportive of what keeps you happy, and someone whom you can appreciate as well. Before that happens, surround yourself with your friends, and explore new places, or experience new things and hobbies that you couldn't do when you were in a relationship.

    You've been given another chance at living a life that's free from the responsibilities in a relationship, but if someone else better does come into your life throughout your journey, welcome them with open arms and experience life with them. And if either of you feel that things aren't working out, then let each other go so that you both may find happiness elsewhere. For now, appreciate the experience that life has given you thus far, and use the time you have now to learn to be secured with yourself. Learn to be comfortable living alone.

    JT

    1 person found this helpful
  18. Beaser
    Beaser avatar
    117 posts
    31 May 2022 in reply to jtjt_4862
    Thanks JT You are right i have been given a chance to explore other things. And i do need to get comfortable being alone. And i know that means to move on.. I seen my Dr this morning and hes not that keen on the new job thing as the one im at is supportive of my mental health requirements. I know in some aspects maybe i need to accept things for what they are. Brett.
    1 person found this helpful
  19. Beaser
    Beaser avatar
    117 posts
    23 June 2022

    Hi and best wishes to everyone again.

    I have had a pretty eventful week and i had to take the plunge and resign from my job. Ive stuck it out for so long but cant do it any longer. It has taken a real toll on my mental health and contributed to my unhappiness in my personal life. I cant lay awake at night dreading the day ahead for the rest of my working life. It also contributed to my recent relationship breakdown. I only have a very small mortgage and i will get paid out 3months leave. Im scared if im honest but i had to make the decision. I just so hope its one of those decisions that you find hard but some day feel so happy that you made it. Best wishes Brett.

  20. Beaser
    Beaser avatar
    117 posts
    24 June 2022
    Getting a bit nervous at times now about taking the plunge and leaving my job . I spoke to an old friend about it and he sounded a bit surprised and doubtful that id done the right thing ,when i get that sort of response i get worried. I have to remind myself that its me who knows what im experiencing work wise and no job is worth my mental health. I have worked hard all my life. I hope people can understand. Brett.

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