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Forums / Anxiety / Scared for 3 things at once. Anxiety at a high

Topic: Scared for 3 things at once. Anxiety at a high

  1. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    1 February 2021
    I start year 11 today. Anxious all night. Can’t sleep. My dog woke up coughing for a long time. She’s almost 10. She has previously been diagnosed with a heart murmur, and she is licking a lot anxious. I am thinking the worst which I should never do. I might have to take a taxi from the vet later by myself to get to school. I have social anxiety and freaking out. I honestly feel scared and stressed. Any ideas how to cope? Or what has helped you before? My anxiety/social anxiety is full on.
  2. Helarctus
    Helarctus avatar
    116 posts
    1 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    Hello Mudcakes,

    Some anxiety in your current position sounds reasonable, a beloved pet who is unwell is a horrible thing to go through. If you are getting them to the vet, then you are already doing the right thing by getting them the help they need.

    Getting to class, first day back, especially after the year we have all had, is going to be a wild ride. But hopefully the classes and people in them will be familiar. You will get to catch up on how things are going for everyone else and soon be back into the swing of lessons. Everybody is a little nervous on the first day back, more so when there is the spectre of exams on the horizon for the end of year.

    If things get too much, take a step back, excuse yourself, close your eyes and count to ten. Open them up and reassess the situation, see if you can spot something you didn't see the first time. Give yourself the time and the chance.

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6816 posts
    1 February 2021
    1 person found this helpful
  4. Jack2021
    Jack2021 avatar
    97 posts
    1 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes
    Hi mudcakes it's jack from your last thread! 😊

    Didn't want to seem like too much of a stranger by not saying anything here, I did reply on your thread, then it was closed/locked it 4 minutes later 😱😱

    I'm sorry to hear about your dog, it's a very tricky situation no one wants to be in, and it's very hard to cope with...I think you are doing the right thing, and the best that you can by taking your dog to the vet and even having the responsibility to take a taxi to school!
    Back when I was in year 11, the thought of all that would have totally freaked me out, so I think you're doing so well here, even if you don't feel like you are, you are 😊

    I actually have no idea what to say or how to cope, except just try your best to get through the day, maybe talk to friends, trusted teachers, school counsellors, etc...just talking to or being around friendly people I find can make a huge difference to your mood and life outlook...
    I've had bad days go much worse when I distanced myself from everyone and was just stuck in my own head with negative thoughts, on the other hand I've had really bad days turn out alright, because I was lucky enough to be surrounded by friendly people.😊

    Anyway whether it turns out good or bad, you can always chat to everyone on here about it...that's what this thing is here for 😊 being alone is too hard, I've been there soooo much of my life already, and it's not a good place to be, so with all that said, hope you have a great day and your dog comes up ok 😊😊

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Jack2021
    Jack2021 avatar
    97 posts
    1 February 2021
    Also to @mb20lover

    Thank you soooo much for the brief kind welcome post you gave me in the last thread 😊
    I was meaning to reply, but then the thread got locked/closed, so yeahhhh 😱😱

    I'm hoping you see this, I've seen you in other threads and you're always so kind and thoughtful, so I just wanted to acknowledge and thank you for the nice words 😊
    hope you're having a great week, and hope this isn't making too much of a fuss out of nothing, I just wanted to let you know you are appreciated 😊
    1 person found this helpful
  6. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    1 February 2021

    Update: My dog is ok! I’m not. I was massively trigged at school today from terrifying bullying from a few years ago.
    I was actually reliving it in a different reality. My social anxiety was so bad I wanted to be unconscious or be at home. I was scared and alone. I am frightened to go back tomorrow. My psychologist is ringing my school. I was seated next to someone who is a horrible toxic ex friend of mine. (Who fakes anxiety to get out of work, does this once a day)

    I am so scared and the classroom is tiny, 24 kids and loud and I get overwhelmed. Any advice please. I am really, really scared.😭😥😫😞😣😖😫😩

  7. Butterfly.Wings.of.Hope
    Butterfly.Wings.of.Hope avatar
    23 posts
    1 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    I remember highschool mate... i am 31 now but I used to be so scared of school my body would be paralysed with fear... my anxiety around school was just crazy.

    Have you tried breathing exercises? Do mindfulness activities work such as mindful coloring? They help temporarily for me.

    Hope you and your dog are ok Mud

    Xx

    Butterfly

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Butterfly.Wings.of.Hope
    Butterfly.Wings.of.Hope avatar
    23 posts
    1 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    Mud, if you are really unwell, Do not hesitate to take a few days off school just to get yourself on an even keel.... i hope youre feeling less anxious soon mate. X

    Butterfly

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Jack2021
    Jack2021 avatar
    97 posts
    1 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes
    So glad to hear your dog is ok! 😊 At least you can rest easy knowing he is alright 😊

    I think that even though it was a very bad day, I think it's great that you have come back here to talk about it 😊 I think it's also great that you've taken action to know that you didn't like the environment, who you were sitting next to, your classroom, etc, etc...hopefully yourself and the school and your psychologist can get to work together to figure it out and what can be done

    All I can say is try your be best to be brave and as much as you might not think it is a good thing, taking action straight away trying to fix things is always a good thing...I wish I was a bit more like you to be honest, because for years I've seemed to tolerate toxic people and enviroments for long periods of time, and all its done is very slowly take a huge toll on my mental health, leading me to where I am today - severe depression, stress, and anxiety

    I hope things are better tommorow for you 😊
    1 person found this helpful
  10. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    2 February 2021 in reply to Jack2021

    Hey Jack, sorry I didn't reply sooner. Thank you for the mention and kind words, I appreciate it and it means a lot. You're nice also, and thoughtful, although you just joined. I hope you feel safe and supported here so far.

    Mudcakes, I'm sorry to hear about your Dog and the other things you're going through. I hope your Dog is okay, and things get better for you.

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Jack2021
    Jack2021 avatar
    97 posts
    3 February 2021 in reply to Missing user
    Hii mb 😊

    Ahh now I see what you mean about seeing my last post haha...I replied to your message in the other thread first just now 😂

    Anyway I'm so glad, just wanted to acknowledge and appreciate you 😊 definately feeling safe and supported so far which is really nice 😊
    2 people found this helpful
  12. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    3 February 2021 in reply to Jack2021
    Thanks again Jack, I appreciate the kind words. I appreciate you too. Glad you're feeling safe and supported here.
    2 people found this helpful
  13. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    3 February 2021

    Update;

    haven't been back to school since. Apparently they moved my seat to another row back and moved my locker a bit. My psychologist is meant to speak to the school today. I am scared for my anxiety and the similarities to the experience I had in year 7 with extremely bad bullying. I am not sure If I can mention it here but the bully from year 7 at my old school blamed me for her mental distress. I am scared that even though the seating is changed that it won’t change anything as the class is small and the dynamic is the same. I am scared I’ll keep being trigged everyday and be alone. My psychologist or head of wellbeing will call us later today.

  14. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    3 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    Hey Mudcakes.

    That's terrible, and what a horrible "person" to do that to you. You haven't done anything wrong, that "person" is just horrible, not you. They must hate themselves.

    I understand the bullying all too well unfortunately, and being alone. I'm thinking of you. I hope the Psychologist and Head Of Wellbeing can sort it out, and things improve for you, and your Dog.

    Sending my love and hugs, and kind thoughts. You poor thing.

    1 person found this helpful
  15. Jack2021
    Jack2021 avatar
    97 posts
    3 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes
    Hi mudcakes

    Sounds like a very tricky situation...hopefully your psychologist and head of wellbeing can sort it out for you, can you request class changes to be away from this certain person??

    Other possible options could be changing schools or studying from home, or doing vcal? (Or is that just for Victoria? No idea...)

    Anyway hopefully things start looking up for you 😊
    1 person found this helpful
  16. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    3 February 2021 in reply to Jack2021

    Small school so can’t change classes at all and it actually is vcal. My psychologist still has not spoken to them yet as she has rung but no answer and wellbeing was supposed to call her today but hasn't yet. I won’t be going back tomorrow either. I can’t go back until I get a safety plan in place and my psychologist has spoken to them.

    Just watched Dan Andrews press conference and not great information coming through.😔

  17. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    3 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    Yep, Dan Andrews is an idiot. I could say many things about him but they're not good, and not appropriate for this forum.

    Thinking of you Mudcakes.

  18. Jack2021
    Jack2021 avatar
    97 posts
    3 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes
    Ahhh I see I see......well at least your psychologist seems to have a handle of the situation, and you are in a safe place hopefully while they try to sort this out for you 😊 do you have any cool tv/movie scripts to work on while you are at home? Are you keeping yourself busy? 😊

    I only ask because a big part of a major depressive setback I had myself today, is that i had literally nothing to do for most of the day...
    I unintentionally hurt the feelings of a loved one yesterday, and went home today, only to sit on the couch all day half-watching DVDs and emotionally getting worse and worse throughout the day until I was a complete wreck by around 5pm ..never a good place to be....

    Anyway try to fill your time maybe is what I think I mean to say..it's something I need to do myself, and if you need to, you can do as well, to help with boredom and try to de-stress I guess...much easier said than done I know, maybe you can relate, but when I get very stressed, anxious, or depressed, pretty much nothing brings me out of it, it takes me quite a few hours until I can actually even function, let alone "feel normal"

    Anyway I hope tommorow is a better day 😊😊
    1 person found this helpful
  19. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    4 February 2021

    Update:

    Psycologist spoke to school. The wellbeing wants a meeting. Tomorrow my mum and I will do a zoom with my psychologist to figure out what questions to ask in the meeting. I wrote a powerful essay about my experience on the first day, explaining my social phobia in powerful detail and why I was trigged and what happened at my old school and how it still effects me to this day. Mum is sending it to the school and my psychologist. Hoping it will help in some way.

  20. Jack2021
    Jack2021 avatar
    97 posts
    4 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes
    Sounds like everyone is taking steps in the right direction mudcakes' 😊

    It must not have been easy writing that essay, and I'm sure the meeting might not be easy either...it can be hard talking about bad things that have happened to you, especially
    1 person found this helpful
  21. Jack2021
    Jack2021 avatar
    97 posts
    4 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes
    ...especially when there's people around you may not know too well, or may not be too comfortable talking with..

    Hopefully it does help though, and you can find some sort of solution 😊

    (My post got split in half...my bad...)
    1 person found this helpful
  22. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    4 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes
    I hope things go better for you, Mudcakes. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
    1 person found this helpful
  23. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    5 February 2021

    Update:

    Had zoom meeting with my psychologist and my Mum read out my essay as my psychologist could not open the file. So hoping like crazy the school can. I will ask in the meeting with wellbeing about a phone exemption on mental health grounds to listen to music and meditate in class with headphones and to be able to text mum or do a kids helpline/ beyond blue webchat during break times if I need to. I have a friend who I bonded with over the holidays but yet to speak in person who also feels scared of school for different reasons. 💖

    Mudcakes 🐕‍🦺🎂

    2 people found this helpful
  24. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    5 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    Hi Mudcakes, thanks for updating us. I hope the Zoom meeting went well and the Psychologist was good.

    Those are good suggestions, I hope you can do them. I wish my high and primary schools did that, when I was there.

    Best of luck.

    2 people found this helpful
  25. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    6 February 2021
    Ok so I did a instagram live on my private account and kind of went into slight detail of why my first day was bad and what “someone” was doing and I said a few things and said names of horrible people in my past from my old school. My mum says It was great, I was so real. I guess it just came out. Luckily no one saw it but I did save it. Hoping like crazy no one hates me now or think I was being mean. I just wanted to go live and it just came out, I didn't say who the person was though.
  26. Jack2021
    Jack2021 avatar
    97 posts
    7 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes
    Hiya mudcakes 😊

    I hope the things you talked about with your school and with wellbeing will work out and hopefully help you a bit 😊😊 listening to music and meditating sounds like a great idea and will probably be something for me to try when I return to work as well 😱

    So glad to hear you made a friend and bonded over the holidays and that they know what your things are like 😊

    Instagram thing sounds good especially if your mum was supportive too 😊 only thing I would do is try to only show it to people I know who are going to be understanding and supportive 😊 I avoid social media myself, but I know it can help sometimes if you're supported by friends and family 😊😊
    1 person found this helpful
  27. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    7 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes
    Hey Mudcakes, I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
    1 person found this helpful
  28. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    10 February 2021
    Wellbeing meeting soon. Wish me luck! Might read out my essay.
    1 person found this helpful
  29. Jack2021
    Jack2021 avatar
    97 posts
    10 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes
    Good luck mudcakes!!

    We're all supporting you 😊😊
    1 person found this helpful
  30. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    12 February 2021

    Update:

    I was so emotional in the wellbeing meeting that the student social worker read out my essay. They refused to offer a phone exemption, due to the government policy, even though it clearly states for mental health reasons there can be an exemption. My teachers on the first day even said they do exemptions. They moved my seat a few rows back and next to my friend and “best friend”. They added a traffic light system that means I can point to a orange card at my table meaning check on me later or a red card meaning I need headphones and help. Doubt it will work. I was planning on going back Monday with this plan in place but now Dan Andrews is putting us on lockdown for 5 days. (Not all having flashbacks😣) Plus they might do online learning and omg I could not handle that last year at all. 😟

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