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Forums / Anxiety / Sense of Impending Doom

Topic: Sense of Impending Doom

  1. Birdy77
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    12 September 2018

    Hello everyone.

    I have been really struggling today, and I thought writing here might help.

    What I am about to describe may sound weird, but it is a true feeling for me. I wondered if anyone else reading has experience of it?

    Every now and then, I get this terrible sense of impending doom.

    Like, everything, everything, is about to go horribly wrong.

    I have realised that I have been having these feelings semi-frequently for the last few years.

    A few years ago I experienced an intense trauma in my life, and I'm wondering now if there are triggers, like little, tiny things, that possibly happened before the trauma, that I am not necessarily conscious of, that again happen now, in my life, and set me off on this spiral of doom.

    This morning, the feeling of impending doom had me thinking that the police were likely to turn up at my door and take me to prison.

    My life is good.

    I am safe.

    In my house.

    Consistently not committing crimes.

    And yet ... occasionally this feeling that the world is conspiring against me and everything good is about to implode just takes over.

    I understand that it's irrational, but there's something that sends me in a spiral, and anything simple can bring me back up that spiral as well, like a text from a friend, or something tiny like that. It brings me back to safety.

    I just wanted to put this out there in case anyone else feels this way. I want you to know that you're not alone, and I thought I might feel some relief voicing this in a safe space.

    I'm not really looking for advice or anything, just kind of wanted a place to talk about it, not just for me but for anyone who experiences this.

    I feel so vulnerable.

    I mentioned something similar to my dad once and he said it's because I have a guilty conscience.

    🌻birdy


    6 people found this helpful
  2. Guest8901
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    12 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Oh dear Birdy, I'm so sorry to hear this. Actually I'm a mess myself right now, so am not in a frame of mind where I can offer advice or support.

    But as this is your long awaited personal support thread, I had to post and let you know I'm listening, and care very much.

    And now that I've posted here, I wont lose you.

    Btw thanks for dropping by my thread the other day to show off your new gear from the gift voucher I left for you. I am reading my thread and appreciate the posts. But for some reason I cannot bring myself to post there.

    Thinking of you and sending a few more gifts your way. 🍷🍹 🍌🍇🍉🍒🍓 🌹🌺 🌾 🌽 🎁 🎶

    Amanda

    5 people found this helpful
  3. Croix
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    12 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Dear Birdy~

    I quite believe you are consistently not a master criminal, and I'm sure law enforcement would agree.

    I don't know which element of PTSD, anxiety and depression leads me at times (more frequent in the past than now) to have that feeling that everything is about to go wrong, and like you my mind conjures up scenarios that simply haven't and won't happen, but frightening for all that. Being fired for some unlikely offense being such a story more than once.

    I came to the conclusion my mind starts out with that foreboding feeling - I'm not sure why - and then makes up a reason to justify it. Weird? Yup. I also came to the conclusion it was probably a reaction to pressure in my life, and unpleasant or taxing events in the present made it more likely to manifest.

    Mind you if you did have a guilty conscience I'm sure we would all like to hear the reason :)

    Croix (the guilt-free walrus)

    4 people found this helpful
  4. Ggrand
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    12 September 2018 in reply to Croix

    Hello Dear Birdy..

    Im sorry your struggling so much with the feeling of intending doom...I once uttered those words to my psychologist, when she asked me why I cannot go for a walk or go out to the next town on my own. or sit at a cafe on my own...I can relate and understand your feelings, my Psych said to me that, that feeling is consistent with very high anxiety,

    Wondering Birdy If you have seen your gp to get a referral to a psychologist, and get you a mental health care plan started, please Birdy, do you think you are able to do this for you? maybe speaking to someone professional might be able to find out what’s triggering these feelings...

    I think that anxiety makes us feel vulnerable, it’s a horrible feeling Birdy and I’m sorry your experiencing it....

    I’m sorry I’m not much help to you atm Birdy but I would so much like to try to support you if I can....

    Love and hugs...💜🤗..

    Grandy....

    4 people found this helpful
  5. Peppermintbach
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    12 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Hi lovely birdy,

    It breaks my heart to see you so down but I’m also relieved that you’re opening up a little. You sound so shaken and rattled...I just want to give you a hug...

    The deep trauma you experienced must have left quite an emotional mark on you...

    For what it may be worth, just know that you are safe here...as Mandy said, we are here listening...we are all in your corner, holding you up gently...

    If it helps in the slightest, I always have feelings of foreboding...I’m not sure if it’s for the same reasons as you but for me, it’s because I don’t trust that good things will last...that’s what is at the core for me...

    In my case, I don’t trust that people will stick around through thick and thin, I don’t trust that good things will happen and if something good happens, I wait for the inevitable bad to come...my worldview, real or imagined, can be summed up as “good things don’t last.”

    Happiness is transient/fleeting, and that’s at best, in my eyes...

    I don’t say this to discourage you...I say this simply to express you’re not alone in your feelings even if our reasons aren’t strictly the same. Granted, maybe I’ve completely misunderstood and have missed the mark entirely...feel free to let me know if I have...

    So, as I said, you’re not alone...

    Even if I’ve misunderstood, even if I don’t get it...I’m sitting here with you because that’s what friends do for friends...

    Love,

    Pepper xoxox

    2 people found this helpful
  6. Peace068
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    12 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77
    Do not feel alone, I too have those feelings but mine are connected to death. A lot of the time I feel like if I leave my home I may not come back. I feel it with my kids also, it is so scary. There are so many examples I could tell you about but I will share two. I was in my car driving and I saw a letterbox, it looked like a gravestone I took it as a sign that I was going to die, I had to pull over and missed my appointment. The other example is I spent loads of money to see my favorite band and waited for months, on the night I again felt like I was going to die that night and could t go. I still re
    Birdy77 said:

    Hello everyone.

    I have been really struggling today, and I thought writing here might help.

    What I am about to describe may sound weird, but it is a true feeling for me. I wondered if anyone else reading has experience of it?

    Every now and then, I get this terrible sense of impending doom.

    Like, everything, everything, is about to go horribly wrong.

    I have realised that I have been having these feelings semi-frequently for the last few years.

    A few years ago I experienced an intense trauma in my life, and I'm wondering now if there are triggers, like little, tiny things, that possibly happened before the trauma, that I am not necessarily conscious of, that again happen now, in my life, and set me off on this spiral of doom.

    This morning, the feeling of impending doom had me thinking that the police were likely to turn up at my door and take me to prison.

    My life is good.

    I am safe.

    In my house.

    Consistently not committing crimes.

    And yet ... occasionally this feeling that the world is conspiring against me and everything good is about to implode just takes over.

    I understand that it's irrational, but there's something that sends me in a spiral, and anything simple can bring me back up that spiral as well, like a text from a friend, or something tiny like that. It brings me back to safety.

    I just wanted to put this out there in case anyone else feels this way. I want you to know that you're not alone, and I thought I might feel some relief voicing this in a safe space.

    I'm not really looking for advice or anything, just kind of wanted a place to talk about it, not just for me but for anyone who experiences this.

    I feel so vulnerable.

    I mentioned something similar to my dad once and he said it's because I have a guilty conscience.

    🌻birdy


    gret that night. Hope this helps in the way that your not alone.
    1 person found this helpful
  7. Guest_623
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    12 September 2018 in reply to Peppermintbach
    Yes, I get this feeling, frequently. It's almost like being claustrophobic. The world feels like it is closing in and no longer have any control over it or the people in it, just along for the ride and where the current takes you. A feeling of dejavu where something really bad is approaching, but where from, and what? But it's there, somewhere, lurking. You are aware of it, or at least the presence of something, but can't prepare for it as the form is unknown. Sounds and people talking become faint, things become slowed down and the surroundings are like looking being underwater. It's the point in the bad horror movies where you become the main character that you were previously yelling at, don't go outside, don't open that door, but you do anyway. And here it comes.
    1 person found this helpful
  8. blondguy
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    12 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Hello Birdy

    You are not alone with having these thoughts

    My psychologist mentioned to me years ago that many of his clients said that there is something wrong....(like yourself Birdy)

    My psychologist replied....."so what is disturbing you"?

    His clients always replied with 'everything is going well.....so there must be something wrong'

    I hope that made some sense Birdy. I was only making a point that many people also think that something must be wrong......because everything is going so well'

    You are not irrational at all. This is very common. Sometimes when we have too much quiet time our thoughts can wonder further than we want them to. Its a part of being human.....all of our minds wonder

    you are not alone with a brain that thinks harder than it should Birdy.....I am one of those people too!

    I hope that Thursday treats you well Birdy :-)

    my kindest

    Paul

    2 people found this helpful
  9. Guest_623
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    12 September 2018 in reply to blondguy
    I wouldn't recognise something to say it was actually going well. It's either indifferent or going badly, but not surprisingly so.
    1 person found this helpful
  10. baet123
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    13 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Hello Birdy,

    We all have our ups and downs as we all know and I am sorry you are feeling the way you are at this point in time.

    I think what your feeling is a true feeling for you and one felt by millions of people around the globe. I sort of feel as humans we are programmed to fear the worst or when things are going good think that something in the not to distant future is going to come up and interfere with our lives. What your feeling is completely normal and should be talked about more but unfortunately it isn't talked about nearly enough.

    It is good to hear that you are safe at present which is important.

    Life for most of us isn't easy and most things in life worth doing and things that are meaningful to us are a struggle. I think living and taking each day as it comes is important. In life we are always going to have our days where we don't feel to well or we struggle but that for me makes the good days that much better.

    All the best Birdy and trust me, you aren't alone!!!!

    Baet123

    1 person found this helpful
  11. startingnew
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    13 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Hello dear Birdy

    I can relate to your post! I get that impending doom feeling quite often. It can be rather unsettling cant it.

    I find myself getting so anxious and sometimes paranoid that something bad is going to happen that i spiral downwards very quickly

    You meantioned having that feeling of safety which is very normal and everyone needs that but if you are experiencing it abit more than usual then perhaps you could add something different or extra to your house that brings those feelings of comfort and safety something like a new picture of you and mrs as a reminder you are safe. Hmm im not sure if im explaining this very well......

    have you got some supports you could talk to? Trauma is a tricky thing so maybe there is something in your subconcious thats being triggered. Maybe its worth exploring more but that is your decison and i/we will support you whatever you choose ❤

    I dont have much to add to what the others have said but your definently not alone. ❤

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Birdy77
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    13 September 2018

    Hello everyone.

    Thank you so much for all of your replies.

    Reading each of them made me feel calmer.

    Sorry for bundling my reply into 1 post for now.

    Amanda, thank you for your care and kindness. Please take care of yourself & do not feel pressured to post on your thread until you are absolutely ready.

    Croix (TG-FW), thank you for your confidence in my lack of criminal mastermind, but I guess I haven't told you about the time, circa 1986, when I stole an eraser from my neighbour's house when I had been over there to play. In my defence, it was pink and shaped like a love heart, plus it smelled like strawberries. Pretty tempting. I hid it at the back of my wardrobe for months and felt so guilty that I returned it surreptitiously on a subsequent play visit.

    I think you are right about the foreboding feeling perhaps being a reaction to present hassles and stresses. Your example of being fired for some unlikely offence made perfect sense to me, they're the sorts of thoughts I'm quite skilled at conjuring. My process is similar, 1st the feeling, then very creative scenarios to justify it.

    Grandy, thank you for your very caring words. I do have a professional I can talk to when I need to. I am so sorry you have these feelings. For me they come and go. Yesterday was bad.

    Pepper, thank you for your beautiful support and kindness. I completely understand your feeling of "things are good, this can't last long", it is a feeling I am very familiar with.

    Peace068, thanks so much for helping me know I'm not alone. When I read your post, it made me realise that I've had similar feelings even back in my childhood, your description of the letterbox as a "sign" reminded me of being about 12yrs old on a camping trip (my mum didnt come on the trip) & I looked up and saw this particular cloud formation and felt sure that it meant my mum had passed away & I was terrified until I was able to ring her.

    Paul, it is true that too much quiet time can lead to thinking way too hard.

    Wallington, your description of it feeling like claustrophobia really struck a chord with me, that closing-in feeling I find paralysing & frightening.

    Baet123 thanks for your reassuring words.

    SN, your idea of putting up a new photo of me & mrs was very good, like a new reminder of comfort and safety. Thank you.

    Most of all thank you all for helping me to feel validated and heard. I am in good company.

    I feel a bit better today, almost confident the cops won't come knocking 👍

    🌻birdy

    5 people found this helpful
  13. Peppermintbach
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    13 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Hi lovely birdy (waves to all),

    I’m really glad you’re feeling a little better today, and that there will be no arrests ;)

    If you ever feel like purging your emotions or just talking here, there are (clearly) many open hearts ready and willing to help cushion some of that pain...that said, no pressure...only if you want to...

    Sending gentle hugs and blue butterflies your way...

    Love,

    Pepper xoxox

    1 person found this helpful
  14. White Rose
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    13 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Hello Birdy

    Yes, I am another who feels as you do. I would really like to know what triggers these feelings and I have tried to trace the cause. Mostly though I want to get rid of it because it is so upsetting. Now I make plans to manage this sense of impending doom. I suspect we are all touched in some way by these thoughts and maybe that is a spin off from our various ailments. Whatever the cause, unless it is happening frequently, I think we need to get through it the best way possible.

    However having said all that I do understand the feeling of almost terror that gets into our heads before we realise it. I am sorry you have these feelings because they are not nice. Glad you have someone to talk to and of course we are always here.

    Mary

    2 people found this helpful
  15. startingnew
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    13 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Your welcome Birdy, im glad your feeling abit better today. As Peps said, your most welcome to talk here anytime you need/want xo

    Hugs xoxox

    2 people found this helpful
  16. Ggrand
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    13 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Hello Dear Birdy,

    I’m so pleased to hear that your feeling better today...We’re all here for you whenever you feel your able to talk..No hurry..

    Please Dear Birdy try your hardest to be kind ang gentle with you..

    Lots of love and hugs..

    Grandy..

    2 people found this helpful
  17. baet123
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    13 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Hey Birdy,

    So happy to hear your doing better.

    Keep us posted! We are hear for you.

    Stay strong and positive Birdy!!!

    Nick

    1 person found this helpful
  18. Birdy77
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    14 September 2018

    Thank you very much everyone.

    Today is a bad day. A very bad day.

    That terror you mentioned Mary ... it snuck up on me this morning and before I knew it, it has consumed me.

    Like everything is about to implode.

    I can feel it in every fibre of my body and brain!

    It's a terrible, terrible feeling.

    I am going to do my best this morning to get through these frightening feelings.

    I feel like a wreck right now. An absolute wreck!

    Ok, I need to take a gentle hold of this ...

    I am going to go outside and hang some washing, maybe I will water the veg patch for just a bit and breathe. I will try to be gentle with myself.

    Thanks again everyone.

    🌻birdy

    2 people found this helpful
  19. Ggrand
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    14 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Hello Lovely Birdy,

    Please breathe in 1-2-3-4-5...breathe out....R-E-L-A-X..try this a few times...breathe counting and say relax on your exhale...it’s good your going to hang out the clothes..if you can do it mindfully, feeling the different textures of material, the different colours, look around and see your chickens and listen to them and the birds that are hanging around....breathing in for 5 and then out for relax..

    After you water your veggie patch, maybe some mindfulness practice outside in your back yard with your chickens would be so adorably calming, watching them pecking around.....while your feeling the sun on your skin...

    Birdy,. We are all here for you, holding your hand, holding you up...I know it’s hard I know but you can relax, you need to relax... distract your thoughts away from the terror your feeling. Some meditation, yoga, reading, puzzles....Please try your hardest..Can you ring someone? Just to talk to....to divert your mind, your thoughts...breathe, even when if your reading this continue to breathe..

    Please be very gentle with you, you are very much loved/cared for here and we are walking next to you holding your hand sweetheart...,big huge hugs..🤗...

    Please let us know how you’re doing when you feel up to it...

    love and hugs..🤗💜..

    Grandy...

    2 people found this helpful
  20. Peppermintbach
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    14 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Oh beautiful Birdy,

    Just hang in there now...I know you’re feeling overwhelmed. The terror is alarming but it’s going to be okay...

    Maybe not right now but maybe in an hour’s time, a day’s time or whenever...you’ll get through this and we are all here holding your hand...with you in spirit...

    You have gotten through it before so I’ve every faith in you that you can get through it again...

    Yes, as you said, go outside, hang your washing, water your veggie patch...and most importantly, just breathe...

    Maybe observe your surroundings...gently and slowly...notice the grass, your gentle chooks, the textures in your hand, the feeling of the sun...

    Maybe by observing your surroundings, it will quieten the terror within a little...bring yourself into the here and now.

    And in the here and now...you’re safe.

    Sitting quietly with you...

    Love,

    Pepper xoxox

    1 person found this helpful
  21. Birdy77
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    14 September 2018 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Thank you both, Grandy and Pepper.

    Thank you both so much

    😢

    xo

    🌻birdy

    2 people found this helpful
  22. Ggrand
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    14 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Dear Birdy...How are you feeling. I noticed a sad emoji RUOK?..

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  23. Birdy77
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    14 September 2018 in reply to Ggrand

    Not totally Grandy, but I will be.

    This will pass.

    It will pass.

    Thank you for your kind heart.

    🌻birdy

    2 people found this helpful
  24. Ggrand
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    14 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Awe Birdy,

    I’m really sorry, do you have anyone with you atm, or can you ring someone and talk to them?.if not Birdy please keep talking here if you feel up to it..

    3 people found this helpful
  25. Guest8901
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    14 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Very true Birdy, it will pass. It always does. In the meantime I have pulled up a few comfy chairs, and made a big pot of tea and coffee. There is nothing I would enjoy more right now than to sit right here with you, and hopefully Grandy too. You are welcome to talk if its helpful, otherwise, I'm very good at companionable silence.

    Love to you Birdy and a heartfelt comforting hug.

    Amanda 🐓🐶🐣🍇🍌🍉🍓🍁🍀🌺

    2 people found this helpful
  26. Peppermintbach
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    14 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Hi beautiful Birdy,

    Like everyone else, I’m also sitting here with you...maybe you’re hurting but you’re absolutely not alone...

    Are you safe, my friend?

    Extra gentle hugs...

    Much love, as always,

    Pepper xoxox

    1 person found this helpful
  27. Moonstruck
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    14 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Birdy... it's just me.

    I've got you...I'm holding you..

    love and gentleness coming to you... you are not alone, we're with you.....xxx

    1 person found this helpful
  28. Birdy77
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    14 September 2018

    Dear Everyone.

    Thank you.

    From the bottom of my heart.

    I am feeling haggard and wrecked tonight.

    I have a difficult weekend ahead ...

    But I will be ok.

    I am safe.

    I hope everything will be ok.

    I really appreciate your care and kindness.

    Amanda, Grandy, Pepper, Moon ... It means a lot.

    I feel a bit (probably a lot) embarrassed.

    But thank you, so much.

    Much love xo

    🌻birdy

    2 people found this helpful
  29. blondguy
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    14 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Hi Birdy

    You are stronger than you think...You also have a super kind heart too :-) I noticed you mentioned that you have a difficult week ahead. I have no doubt that you will have a great week. When I have a hard week coming up I make an appointment with my GP and have a talk about whats going through my mind. Its always a great feeling of mental freedom to leave the clinic feeling so positive and recharged :-)

    I hope you dont mind if I ask if you have a GP that you can bounce off?

    my kind thoughts always Birdy :-)

    Paul

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Peppermintbach
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    14 September 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Hi beautiful Birdy,

    It’s okay to feel...it’s okay to be scared...it’s even okay to feel a little “embarassed” or self conscious (though I wish that wasn’t the case).

    I think vulnerability is unnerving...but it’s also strength...

    All that tension and turmoil is a heavy load to carry, let us shoulder a little for you...

    You have been there for so many of us (myself included). Let us take care of you, and hold you up a little for a change...

    I’m relieved you’re safe but I realise you have a tough weekend ahead of you. So I hope you’re extra gentle to yourself, write in (or don’t write in) if you need to and lean on your beautiful partner for love and support...

    I am here in your corner and gently holding you up (alongside all your other caring supporters here).

    To me, you represent compassion, gentleness, a deep sensitivity, intelligence, insight, wisdom and an expansive love for many...I look to you as an example for so many things that I’m not or urgently need to work on...

    Thank you for lifting us and please know we are here for you too...

    Sending my love and blessings for your weekend...

    Love,

    Pepper xoxox

    2 people found this helpful

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