Our darling friend (& a wave to all),
Things sound very full-on at the moment. I feel your frustration, resentment, exhaustion and perhaps feelings of inner conflict (about mrs b’s mum). I hear you, my friend.
I know you and your partner, mrs b, have gone above & beyond to help her mum & brother. They are both very fortunate to have both of your care & support. I really do believe that.
But I sense & understand your resentment towards her entitlement, ungratefulness and her demanding ways. I feel maybe it’s a little like, the more you give, the more she expects & demands.
Yet, it must be hard because you also realise her timee is limited. Hence the inner conflict/conflicting feelings...
Sorry, I can’t help but wonder if maybe there’s a cultural element to the whole “golden son” situation. As you know, my heritage is eastern. I know that’s not the same as mrs b’s heritage, but please bear with me for sec as maybe what I’m about to say will resonate. Maybe?
In a lot of eastern cultures (my heritage), sons are often preferred to daughters. For example, one of my male relatives is probably revered in a similar way to “golden boy” by his parents, especially his mum. She also has daughters.
Her son rarely visits, doesn’t call on birthdays & basically makes zero effort with her. Her daughters, on the other hand, regularly visit, help her translate paperwork into English, show up on her birthdays, etc. Yet her son was always (& will forever be) her favourite, because of the whole cultural thing...
Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying that I support/agree with that worldview. But perhaps that could explain some of mrs b’s mum’s behaviour (even though I know she’s from a different cultural background to me, but sometimes there’s overlap). Just a little idea...perhaps it’s irrelevant, but I thought that I would mention it anyway.
That said, I do understand me saying that doesn’t really necessarily help or lessens your anger or resentment (both of which is of course valid & understandable) ...I understand she is very demanding & difficult to be around. I get it...I really do...
I hope you were able to practice self compassion last night. I feel for your poor dogs and I hope your hand heals soon. That sounds painful.
Holding my hand out in friendship, thinking of you & your beautiful family (mrs b & your boys) and sending love & comfort.