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Forums / Anxiety / social Anxiety

Topic: social Anxiety

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. sharkgirl
    sharkgirl avatar
    1 posts
    16 February 2021
    Hey, I am new here. I have a 7 month old baby and I get very overwhelmed leaving the house with him. I love my son so much and want him to have the best life but I just can't seem to get past feeling terrified of people judging me and my parenting. I signed up to go to playgroup but the last time I went I was so nervous I just stood in the corner and struggled to start any conversations with other parents. Does anyone else have trouble or had trouble leaving the house with their new baby? if so any tips on how to overcome this?
  2. Aaronsis
    Champion Alumni
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    Aaronsis avatar
    2463 posts
    16 February 2021 in reply to sharkgirl

    Hello Sharkgirl

    Welcome to the forum and I can hear how terrified you are and how much you are struggling right now, it is so wonderful you have come to chat and to seek some support in what is really a very tough time, let's not discount that...being a new mum is full of so many questions and brand new experiences and thoughts and feelings you did not even know existed let alone on how to manage them.

    I felt the very same as you, I was terrified to leave the house, leave the security of the house and leave the little routine that I had set up...BUT..it has to be done as you know, there are appointments to keep and shopping to purchase and you really do need to get some other stimulation rather than just the four walls of your home..so how do you do that...

    Well I was scared I would put my son in the seat wrong and what if he went to sleep, then what and what if I couldn't collapse the pram and get it in the car and what if people looked at me....well sure these are a whole lot of what if's and some of them NEVER even happened. So can I suggest to you that others at mother's group or play groups may even be going through the same experience as you and it also took them all their might to get into the car and attend also???

    What I found helpful was doing small little trips twice a day..to no where in particular, just to push myself into the task of putting the baby in the car and even just driving around the block, so show myself I could and to see that it was alright. I would then go to the local small shops and do little trips there and then work my way up to bigger things, until I was able to feel comfortable to do the things in a day that I needed to do.

    Sure people might look at you, but who cares, there opinion of you is not your concern and if they have nothing better to do than judge you then good for them...but you will probably not even notice..as you will be busy doing you and enjoying your bravery to complete some tasks...others can get on with what they need to.

    Meeting new people is tricky and as I said before, there might be others who seem fine in the play group but have also had to dig deep to be there too.....maybe with a little "hi, my name is xx and this is my baby xx, how are you?"...you might get to find out about others too...how awesome.

    I hope to chat to you some more and see how you are feeling and if any of this sounds like it could work for you....baby steps..you got this.

    Hugs

    Sarah

  3. Amanda2000
    Amanda2000 avatar
    144 posts
    16 February 2021 in reply to sharkgirl

    Hi Sharkgirl,

    Yes I've been there before! .... 17 years ago. Generally I'm a worrywart so with a baby, the huge lifelong responsibility of keeping my most precious safe-and-sound was immense pressure. For me, it wasn't so much the people looking at me, but contamination fears and keeping my baby away from germs. I avoided going out. I regret not having joined a mothers-group, but I became very involved in the parents-association during the preschool years and early-primary years so that made up for the lost time I suppose.

    Regarding how to start conversations with other parents, it's difficult when I see they already know one another and I feel like I'm intruding on their group. I always try to go to someone who's alone. If there's no one alone, then go to a small group of 2 or 3. I usually start by saying "It's my first time here. How long have you been coming to this?" to break the ice.

    I think once you get started, you'll gain confidence and really enjoy the experience!

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