Thanks Croix....if and when I need to let the emotions come to the fore, I have my favorite CDs to play while driving...music from the big shows...some just instrumental, some with voices...Rodgers Hammerstein, Andrew Lloyd Weber etc.....they hit the nail on the head every time!

Have a CD in the car by Michael Ball singing them all at the moment....You'll Never Walk Alone is particularly powerful for me at this time!! also Love Changes Everything is brilliant...have a listen to it some time and listen to the words Croix. (I believe I recommended u tube of him singing it at tribute to Lloyd Weber at Albert Hall...gradually joined onstage by other musical stars.....(Gee I miss the bowls club)........

Dear Moon~

"Love, will turn your world around
And that world will last forever"

It's true, even 20+ years since my fist wife passed away the love is still there and she is still with me (love can grow, the more you give the more you have, so my second wife is as much loved as my first).

Now, on a practical side, while you may think listening to your CDs in the car is pretty good, please be aware that grief can spring up unexpected and overwhelming. I'd not like you to crash your car again, you might get hurt next time. Please avoid those CDs whch are likely to affect you when driving -Please?

Bowls will be back. There is simply too great a need built into humans to bowl, and tons of others to watch. If one way does not work another will spring up to answer those needs. The Roar of the Greasepaint and smell of the Crowd will return.

Croix

God I hope you're right....

Dear Moon

Do to the limitations concerning bowling Im unable to give you the more specific up-beat answers I would wish.

However if there is a vaccine things will return to as is, or close to it, if one is not found then the big bowling operations will stop marking time (which is a cheap thing to do) and have to spend some money and smaller operations will then follow suit.

Croix

Dear Moon~

Our paths have not crossed for a while and was wondering how you were coping

Croix

Hi Croix....I'm Ok...I guess...just as usual, sick of all the FEAR being spread from day one..and continues to be so. Spent delightful few days with family...as I had been on tenterhooks for ages now...our Premier wouldn't say Yes or No for the July 10 border opening (which was the date one of them had bookings to arrive here...good timing hey?) Well, as you know the borders were opened....and they got through.

Despite the hyped up media about long long wait...several hours etc to get across....was expecting a hellish day taking much longer to get here from NSW.....but, as further proof not to believe all we read and see on the media....got across with no trouble at all, wasn't even stopped, asked any questions or had to show any documents or passes.

and still so many many people believe everything they hear via the media...(except those in the media of course). Hoping you and your loved ones are fine...all the way through this, you seem to be in good shape...I hope that is right....

as you know my bowling cannot continue as before until they lift the size of gatherings up much higher...otherwise not worth our while to go back to "normal" at all...we would go broke! We are at the bottom of the list to be lifted.......stay well...thanks for thinking of me...Moon S x

Dear Moon~

I've been thinking about the bowling problem, and while some large companies may throw money into large commercial bouts, fencing off enclaves, there may well be a very small parallel to what I found in a completely unrelated field.

I may have mentioned I studied drama in the 60's and there were a fair number of very small productions, and their audiences would easily fit the 4 square meter rule.

They were not ambitious, in fact mostly amateur, and some had no sets or costumes, lighting was joke, but the spirit came though. Some were studying at my uni, some in NIDA and the venues were scrounged (as the Jane St Theater charged a fee).

Maybe bowling will re-start both ways too

Croix,

Dear All~

My posts over the next few days will be missing or sporadic. I've some matters to take care of (nothing to worry about) and will be "resuming normal service as soon as possible"

Dear Moon~

How are you managing?

Croix

Thanks Mr Croixy man.

Take good care good man

Yes I can..I know I can...No I can't leave without one...🕊😁

Hi Croix,

It's kind & thoughtful of you to let people know. I hope those matters are resolved easily.

Looking forward to your presence when you're able to post Champ.

😄

💙

Croix,

I have finally found your thread and now you need to be away. Timing has never been my forte.

Take care and I hope things can be resolved.

Dear Croix....you do whatever you have to do...grateful that you have always kept me in mind....you asked How I am Doing? well, cut a long story short....been having panic attacks again, the "fear" virus is finally starting to beat me down until I am displaying the same fear that 99% of everyone else seems to insist on spreading.

I am much more afraid of the "fear" than I am, and ever have been of dying of the virus. There's no mask I can wear to protect myself from the contagious and much more dangerous to my overall well-being..the FEAR.

Please, people, stop spreading this FEAR.........Love you Croix...

Dear Moon~

I'm not surprised either at the emotion you call fear or that you have enough wisdom to know it is that emotion that you dread, not the events

OK, so dying is not something that most can face with equanimity, but if can be faced. Similarly the length of time it takes bowling to reinstate itself (it is starting here and there now) is another anxiety.

Also I guess getting to know yourself better after the death of the one you loved (actually your reactions are very reassuring)

So all of that builds up into a heap of anxiety, which hurts, leaves you feeling out of control, and with no sight of the future.

Not helped by the number of people who think regulations and self-discipline - plus thinking of others - is not for them. (Now as an ex-policeman I can't say I'm that surprised. Consequences never occur to some.)

So what do you do? I guess the first thing is you take comfort in the fact you are dealing with all this, even if there is a panic attack now and the. Then you think of all to bowling texts that live inside you, waiting to emerge.

A bank of knowledge not many have. Neither do many have your contacts over the years. If any are still on this earth why not try for contact? You might be surprised at the warmth of the welcome. No, I'm not talking local here.

Being close to your offspring is another help at times, not feeling totally alone.

I wish you would record your life, the brief glimpses you have given are fascinating and imply a whole world not seen by many, both the bad and the glamorous. Would you like that?

"Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us." (Now I don't have to tell you who said that :)

Hang in there Moon

Croix

Dear DB, M_M, Shell and Quirky~

Ta for the thoughts, I'm good, its just tasks relating to family have to be done and I end up too tired to post.

I'm like the BW TV stations of old, off the air or a few minutes then "Normal service will be resumed":)

I remember those station breaks, one was combine-harvesters in a field, another was London to Brighton by rail in just one minute.

Croix

Hey Croix. Excuse I for jumping in for a moment

just putting in Happy Birthday wishes to my mum who turned 90 today (1st August) still independent living in her own home

Born in Helsinki Finland in 1930

Paul

Dear Paul

Please extend my best wishes to your mum as well

Grattis på födelsedagen

Croix

Dear All and Moon~

Moon, it has been snowing here, I'm sure you prized boots wold have been exactly right.

Of course I'm seeing how you are, I read you saying you were broken, and at times things can indeed seem like that. There is no such thing as 'proper' grieving though, it has a mind of its own.

I may have mentioned this before, I am not sure, however GriefLine Phone Counseling. A Grief hotline that provides free counseling for Australians. Open from midday to 3am. 1300 845 745

https://griefline.org.au/

They are sensible and experienced.

Dancing to the tune of the authorities at the moment is sensible, it does not mean you are broken, just going though hard circumstances and doing the best you can.

Not having someone who laughed with me and understood my humor would be devastating.

What alternatives do you have during the day to keep you occupied and mind on other hings?

Croix

Welcome back Sir Croixy man 🤗

It was a pleasant lift seeing your name around I must say.

Hope you're well and as happy as can be but thinking on you'd have to be pretty stoked with life knowing Grandy and I wouldn't you 😄

Take really good care Mr you're loved aporeciated immensely and highly respected here don't ya know 😊

There as a welcome back only 3 emojis woot!

🌞

Thank you with all my heart for remembering me Croix....unbearable as I am these days. I feel I have lost a number of "friends" here on Forum due to my views on Covid from the beginning. I feel it is dominating everyone's life, thoughts, emotions, mental states and not to mention "plans"....no one can have any!!

Someone I love dearly has had their career ruined (in the performing arts industry) kept spirits up as best they could all this time, did "virtual" activities, trying their best to keep in touch with others in the same field, buoying each other along.....no longer. It's dragged on so long, people have lost hope. He can't be bothered trying any more, no idea what his future will be....so hard to watch someone in the prime of their life, full of energy and talent....all wasted. His industry relied on big crowds...remember "crowds" ?

I truly can't see any "point" any more. what I mean is, the point of this ridiculous life. I see people having babies, and think "Why on earth would you bring this beautiful, innocent, helpless little person into a world as screwed up as this one? What do those babies have to look forward to? Go through this hell and then die anyway at the end? It's all so meaningless.

Since his death, the realisation has been slowly growing (now in full bloom it seems) that no one else knows me. They can see me, talk, laugh, share conversations, same as ever......but I look at their faces and realise "You don't know "Me" at all do you?"

A huge chunk of "me" has died when he died....by that, I mean he took the major part of me with him. How do I get it back? So I can share "her" with my friends. She's gone. I don't know who I am any more.

Hi Moonstruck,

We're sorry to hear that you're not feeling hopeful at the moment. We understand that this is a very difficult time and that you have already been going through a lot of pain. Please know that you're not alone, and that things can always improve. We are concerned about your wellbeing, so we are reaching out to you privately.

If you find that you're wanting to talk through your loss with a counsellor, we'd recommend getting in touch with Griefline - 1300 845 745. GriefLine provides counselling support services free of charge to individuals who are experiencing loss and grief.

And, if you feel it may be helpful, we’d recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 at the Beyond Blue Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service on 1800 512 348.

You might find some inspiration in the following Beyond Blue resources:

• "Personal stories" -
  https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/personal-stories
• "Journey to wellness" -
  https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/staying-well/journey-to-wellness

We hope that you are feelling a bit better since you posted. Please feel free to reach out to your friends on the forums anytime.

Hello Moon, Croix..

I know you wrote to our lovely Croix, but I just felt the need to come and say how sorry I am that your struggling so much with the passing of your partner....

Yes we do loose a huge chuck of ourselves when we loose our partner/spouse because our lives were revolving around them and they were our greatest supporter..

The world keeps moving forward..babies are born out of love..whether it be war time, or COVID times..They will be nurtured with love and care..see the world with innocent eyes and embrace it, with open hearts and an inquisitive mind..They are the future of this world..they are pure innocence and hope..each generation contributes so much more then the generation before them..each generation seems to be born with the knowledge to start where others have sadly stopped..

Moon...I think people seeing you as a couple and now seeing you on your own, knowing you lost your beautiful partner, maybe it’s hard for them to be the same with you, they don’t want to say things that might trigger you..because they care about you and don’t want to hurt you....Your more then likely picking up on the little differences in the things they are saying or doing now...and your finding yourself questioning all of this...We do change, when we loose someone we love....our outlook on life also changes..To get back dear Moon..just be yourself..and feel the things you need to feel...Don’t keep them locked up inside you...cry if you need to cry...take time for yourself if you need to...care for yourself always...that’s the most important thing right now is self care...

Kind thoughts dear Moon..

If it’s okay I’ll sit quietly next to you...holding your hand, letting you know that we all care about you...and your not alone...

Grandy..

Dear Moon

You're so loved and valued here. I want to extend some comfort but I don't know how.

I'm so sorry your partner died, I can see how truly devastated you are at losing him and all those wonderful parts of you that went with him.

People can only see, know and love what parts of us we feel courageous enough to share. To have that courage you've shown so many times in your life, we have to be vulnerable. It's so scary at times.

Only our intimate partner can know us in so many way, so I truly understand your grieving.

It takes a lot of vulnerability to love another person so completely as you've done.
What a gift the both of you gave to each other.
I'm so glad you shared this and enriched each other's lives so much.

You had together what so many of us yearn for. Love.

I hope you can love yourself through this as he would want you to. I hope you can love others and show them the true and very deeply wonderful Moon that we've come to know and love too.

It's with love I send this message.

Love EM

Dear All~

I will not be posting after Friday for a couple of weeks or so as I am going to take an opportunity to enjoy family life more - and take a rest. I might even take Mrs C out to that well known Scottish restaurant after a movie

(We walruses sure know how to show a lass a grand time:)

Moon: Thinking of you, no words of advice, just understanding and care.

Croix

Dear Mr. Croix..

I hope you have a great time with enjoying more family life..and having a nice rest....Put you feet up dear sir, sit in front of your fire 🔥...

Sounds really nice taking Mrs. C. out for a movie and Scottish dinner....

Relax and enjoy your time with each other..

Kind thoughts...

Grandy..

Have a hoot Croix!

We'll eagerly await your return!

Is that McTavish's where they serve the haggis??

lol....

Enjoy your time.
EM

No, it's McDonalds where they serve the hamburger and fries.

I prefer to leave haggis in it's natural state, scuttling though the heather in Scotland.

-C

Always miss you on the rare times you're not around Mr Croixy man.

Sounds lovely your time out.

I really hope you enjoy your quality deserved time with your dear wife and family.

Take good care Mr Walrus.

Look a choice going away prezzy. Yip no as nada emojis.

Let's not get too excited matey it's only a one off to kick start your break ... smiling and giving you a hug. Mmm much quicker with emojis lol.

I wish I spoke NZese

c :)

😅