Hi Raine

Welcome to BB. Maybe you'd consider a post on the "What's my name / avatar mean?" thread?

Insofar as this thread is named, personally I am usually an ENFJ-A (but sometimes an ENFP-A)

SB

Hallo Blue,

Sorry I kind of just disappeared for a month and a half. Sometimes I get really depressed and I don't want any interaction. Cannot promise anything for the future but when I started this thread I was hoping the conversations could keep going because personality is a fascinating topic :)

Anyways, since I've been gone I've met some INFJs online, and I was quite shocked when some of them appeared to be rude and shallow (the majority isn't), I guess I'm a bit disappointed because I've been seeing INFJ as a synonym for kindness and such. But there are always exceptions I guess.

How lucky of you to find an INFJ partner :) I'm curious though, while your partner can definitely be a special gem, are there any challenges you've found along your relationship? e.g. maybe they are too sensitive? I just want to know so I can improve on my own socialising skills.

Fascinating conversations. Again sorry for disappearing :')

With Love,

Grace xx

Hello Sara!

I apologise for disappearing, it's hard to keep things up when you are crippled by depression, heh :')

I'm so glad you enjoy the thread!! Since I pretty much killed the conversation are there any new topics that've come up that you'd like to discuss? I'm feeling better today so I'll be around for a few days. Cheers for being supportive and wonderful!!

With Love,

Grace xx

It's lovely to see you back on board Grace! Woo-hoo!!

I've been busy on the forum if you'd like to scan the threads. You're so welcome to join in the chit chat if the more serious stuff is too heavy.

As for this topic, I'm not sure if you've touched on it before, but INFJ is a guide that does well to address generalised traits. Have you considered the rude people you've met aren't quite the black and white version? It's also a thought, that each person's dealing with a % of up's and down's which may interfere with communication.

I don't want this to sound 'thingy', and my psychologist would probably throttle me, (ha ha) but I think personality types can sometimes be taken for granted like Sun Signs and Horoscopes.

As I've said, my psych did her thesis on this test which has merit in the eyes of the scientific community. However, some people will use this type of resource for entertainment value or try to 'fix' a partner for instance.

How do you feel about these points hun?

Looking forward to hearing from you...

Sara x

Hey Grace,

No worries about being absent for a while. My own visits to the forums have been pretty sporadic of late, too, albeit for different reasons. It's understandable interaction is hard when you're feeling down - you are an introvert, after all.

Sorry to hear you've ran into some INFJs that turned out to be rude. Can I ask in what way they were rude? Sometimes behaviour can tell a bit about what lies beneath it - you may just have met them at a bad moment. Or life's little variables could be at play - types aren't as black and white as they may appear. One may err on the side of another, similar type, or simply have fallen into one or more of the potential negative spirals that any given type is prone to. Bear in mind that any individual can pursue or live up to their potential, or can conversely identify too closely with the pitfalls in their nature and go the other way instead. As a side note, have you considered that they may have even misidentified their personality types? It can happen now and then, especially if the information provided is not thoroughly examined. From the tests alone I could just as easily have come up as an INTJ (and have on some), but on closer inspection I most definitely identify as INTP... with one or two INTJ traits or leanings.

I'm afraid you misread my partner's type, he is an INTJ, not INFJ. I'm more than happy to share about how we relate to each other if you're still interested, though. We are very similar thinkers, but knowing the types has certainly helped demystify things when our respective approaches to logic clash or don't quite make sense to each other.

The best insights I can give you into my experience with an INFJ is a close friend of mine. You bet she's very sensitive, and self-conscious and struggles a lot with assertiveness. But she is also someone of great depth and sincerity, whom I have a lot of respect for. In terms of socialising, I think your intuition is your best friend. Because you're an introvert, interacting can be draining, and you don't want to waste your time on idiots. Observe people where you can, and you'll see for yourself who is worth interacting with. Where you see substance and depth, they will likely respond to those things in yourself, and that will be the basis of a solid friendship.

Blue.

Hello everybody.
I am an INFJ-T (aka the Advocate), nice to meet you.

I had no idea that INFJs are considered rare though.
I always wondered why people exhaust me so much even though I am pretty out-going and open minded individual. Now I know!

I am an INFJ. I have taken the test over many years with the same result every time. Last result gave me a 90% introverted response, seems to be increasing every year. Or could just be that i am closer to being an agoraphobic shut in. I live inside my own head 24/7 and live a pretty lonely existence as i am so socially awkward when in social situations, i become the object of other peoples amusement. I often think of living in a mental institution as i can not cope with the real world. When i think of being put in isolation, this does not scare me, but excite me. Although being a true INFJ, being socially awkward, fearing social interactions, i crave connection and friendship. It is such a lonely and depressing life, being trapped within this constant fear, with anxiety stealing life away from me.

J.

I'm an INFJ. I did the test with my psych. I didn't know it was a rare type, but find that quite pleasing ;)

I am 95% introvert. I could quite happily live on a deserted island... so long as I had my dog. In saying that, I do sometimes enjoy meaningful one on one conversations. I HATE small talk, and am socially awkward, and have social anxiety disorder.

I am an INFJ. I have done online tests as well as the official form. I test very strongly on the I, F and J components.

I have found it very helpful in understanding myself and my needs and strengths as well as weaknesses. It has really helped understand how my husband and I deal with conflict as other than introversion we are complete opposites.

I have encountered a lot of INFJ's online despite it being a rare personality type. I suspect that online is a space where we feel comfortable.

I just did a re-test (sit down long handed psychological assessment type of test), first time in years, and was surprised to discovered that I am no longer what I once was.

Perhaps it was the mental stresses over these past few years, perhaps it was something else, but now I am officially an INFP-A with strong measures; not so much the back & forth soft split it used to be before. I(71%) N(68%) F(67%) P(89%) - A(94%)

I think it is interesting how our personalities change when dealing with the stresses and un-wellness associated with our mental health.

Based on feedback I have received, from friends and family (particularly family that hasn't seen me since before the breakup) apparently I am a much calmer, friendlier and empathetic person... more of the type of person they enjoy being around.

So I guess that's got to be a good change. Never would have thought such a positive outcome would be a result of having to go through anxiety and depression. I guess it just goes to prove the age old saying: "whatever doesn't (figuratively) kill you, makes you stronger".

SB

This is fascinating. I'd never heard of it before. I just did the Myers Briggs and am an INTP. Wow! That's pretty much spot on.

I'd love to keep this thread going and chat more about it. I'll go an google more now. :-)

Yes. I have done it a few times over the years, and have always found that it has:

1. Helped me to accept that there are good things about me, and I have grown to appreciate that.

one was being an Introvert, but when I read that "Introverts are among the nicest people to be friends with once you take the trouble to get to know them." It clicked and I have been cautious in how much contact I give myself in large groups ever since - as a result my physical energy has improved, knowing that people can drain me.

2. Helped me to see that there are areas of my personality that I need to work on.

I wasn't all that happy with being a J for Judge. I also thought that I should change to being more Thought instead of Feeling oriented. So I have worked on those more and I am changing and float between thought and feelings and the like but I am a very strong introvert. I have grown.

The last two times I did it I was a Logitician and now an Adventurer.

Would be great to hear more.

I am also INFJ.