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Forums / BB Social Zone / Is anyone up for a chat?

Topic: Is anyone up for a chat?

  1. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    8 December 2015 in reply to BKYTH

    Phillip,

    Firstly I am really sorry that you are about to become homeless.  What will you do, and where will you go? 

    Secondly I hope you didnt feel that I had abandoned you all last night when I packed up and left the conversation.  It is just that it was after 10.30pm and I was really tired after a couple of nights lack of sleep.  Plus the system kept crashing and my messages were not getting through.

    Thirdly, well done you!  For your writing accomplishments that is.  In what field of writing have you won your awards?

    And Shelley Anne, dont feel bad about starting a thread in order to attempt small talk or chat.  I guess it takes practice.  Something most of us last night no doubt needed!  So hey, you were doing all of us a favour. 

    Sherie xx

  2. Chris B
    Community Manager
    • Works for beyondblue managing these forums. Not a mental health professional, but here to help. Email: christopher.banks@beyondblue.org.au
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Chris B avatar
    1757 posts
    8 December 2015 in reply to BKYTH

    Hi Philip, I'm really sorry to hear about your living situation - are you able to give our support service a call, they may be able to point you towards some other supports at this time.

    It's part of the territory on an anonymous forum, unfortunately, that people will drift in and out, which can be disappointing if you've put the effort in to have a conversation or provide support for someone. We're starting to see a bit less of this since we put up the Forums Etiquette thread. 

    If it's any consolation, there is a huge audience of people on our forums who never post - we have over 60,000 unique visitors per month, so when you write a post the audience is much wider than the people you see posting in the thread. 

    Your posts are really supportive and valuable Philip so I hope you'll stay around if you're able, as you've probably now seen from the replies above there are a lot of people here who care about you.


  3. BKYTH
    BKYTH avatar
    200 posts
    8 December 2015 in reply to HelenM
    I know there is a time lapse and take that into consideration and reload the page for about ten minutes until its becomes obvious that the other person has signed out or gone to another area on BB. I allow a reasonable amount of time for a response to come as I don't want the other person to respond to my post and find I have disappeared.                                                                                                                                                                                   Its not only polite in a chat to bring it to an end by informing the other person but its saves them wasting their time waiting for a reply that is not going to come.
  4. BKYTH
    BKYTH avatar
    200 posts
    8 December 2015 in reply to Missing user
    Of course not your statement "nite all" informed everyone in the conversation that you were signing out. Its not that difficult a think to do is it. Philip.
  5. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    8 December 2015 in reply to BKYTH

    You are right Philip, it isnt a difficult thing to do.  The only difficulty I had was to get the message to finally accept.  It crashed 3 times before I was  finally able to get my message posted.  The rest are lost in space!  Not sure if it was my computer or the website, but it was very annoying!  Grrr    ) :

    You didnt mention in your reply if you have become homeless?

    Perhaps you can do what Chris B suggested, and phone the BB Support Service.  I have always had a home, so cannot even imagine what it must be like to not have a home to go to.

    I am thinking of you and sincerely hope you are okay.  Take care Philip.  xx

     

  6. Guest_1055
    Guest_1055 avatar
    7657 posts
    8 December 2015 in reply to Missing user

    Dear Sherie thanks so much for your encouraging words to me, means a lot. And you did do the polite thing, by saying goodbye. 

    For me... well I feel bad, I did not mean to act un kind. And I truly am sorry. I asked Philip to forgive me. The truth is I panicked, because I didn't know what I was doing . This is the first social sort of chat, I have ever done. I never initiate conversion outside these forum walls. I could have said goodbye, but I did not even think of it, I just went into fear and panic mode. I wish that he understood that, but I fear he rejects me now. Ok bye now

     

  7. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    8 December 2015 in reply to Guest_1055

    Thats okay Shelley Anne.  I dont expect I was much help to anyone, but it would be nice to think that I may have been.  So thanks  ) :

    Please dont feel bad.  I sensed that Philip was quite upset, and given his current circumstances I can understand why he would be feeling that way.  It cant be easy being faced with the prospect of becoming homeless, and I really feel for him right now.  

    But I'm sure that he will realise that it wasnt your fault either, and that this small talk / chat business is new to us all, and very difficult for some of us.  I am sorry that you panicked, and of course good manners are not uppermost on our mind when we are in panic mode.  I'm sure that upon reflection, and knowing the circumstances, Philip will understand that.  

    You are obviously not an unkind person, in fact far from it.  Cannot undo what is done, so try not to worry about it.  I'm sure you have enough worries without adding this to it!

    Maybe it will get easier with practice, so if you ever want to give this chat business another go, let me know.  I will keep a look out for the thread name.  Catch you again soon.

    Sherie xx

     

  8. Guest_1055
    Guest_1055 avatar
    7657 posts
    8 December 2015 in reply to Missing user

    Thanks so very much Sherie, for your beautiful understanding heart and you are a help to me, because I was indeed worrying so very much. I will most likely not post in this thread for a while. So do I say goodbye now.... maybe  I will catch up with you in another thread.

    Hugs xxxx

  9. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    8 December 2015 in reply to Guest_1055

    Ha ha, you're funny (in the nicest way).  I'm glad if I have helped in some bumbling way.  And I understand you not wanting to use this thread again.

    Please dont say goodbye though, as I hope to see you on another thread soon.  I will be looking out for you.

    In the meantime, a big hug back to you  { Shelley Anne }.

    Sherie xx

  10. Chris B
    Community Manager
    • Works for beyondblue managing these forums. Not a mental health professional, but here to help. Email: christopher.banks@beyondblue.org.au
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Chris B avatar
    1757 posts
    9 December 2015

    Hi everyone,

    I think it's always good to remember that communicating on the Internet has its pitfalls. It's so easy to misconstrue was someone has or hasn't said, and when you add to that symptoms of depression or anxiety we are all prone to making assumptions that might not be true.

    The forums aren't a "live chat" environment, and back-and-forth social threads like this are the exception rather than the norm, so I don't think the average person coming through here is conditioned to sign off after every post. Also, with the way the forums are moderated, your post may take up to 12 hours to appear anyway, so even if you have said you're signing off for the night in a thread, that may not be seen till the next day.

    I have even seen situations where, in a particularly intense thread where someone is struggling, saying "goodbye" at the end of a post has led other members to assume the worst. 

    I've been managing the forums here for a couple of years now, and I can assure everyone that instances of someone posting with the intention of hurting another person are extremely rare. We have a zero tolerance policy for that sort of thing, and it's a very friendly, supportive environment here as a result.

    Bearing this in mind, if you read a post and you're not clear on its meaning, reply to the person and ask. Don't assume that they're being nasty, because it's incredibly unlikely.  That said, if you see something that is obviously disrespectful, then you can always report the post to us and we'll look into it. 

    Finally, our forums can be clunky at the best of times as well, I know a lot of you report that you have lost posts from time to time. Please let me know if this happens to you, I am collecting a log of all these incidents so we can try and get our web developers to work out why it is happening.

    Carry on! :)

  11. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16448 posts
    9 December 2015 in reply to Chris B
    dear All, I'm sorry that I haven't been following this post as I just clicked onto it now, and I did so mainly because Chris had replied, but boy there is so much content and discussions that have being going on, and so much has been said that maybe has not been posted in other comments, so I apologise because it's up to page 5 now. Geoff.
  12. BKYTH
    BKYTH avatar
    200 posts
    9 December 2015 in reply to Missing user
    You don't understand what I am saying. You did the appropriate thing. Your post appeared and you said 'nite all'. Nothing of what I have said applies to you. Please read my posts and you will see that.
  13. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    9 December 2015 in reply to BKYTH

    Thanks Philip, and yes I do understand what you are saying.  

    Anyway, how are you?

    xx

  14. HelenM
    HelenM avatar
    347 posts
    9 December 2015 in reply to geoff

    Okay,

    This is my third time of experiencing a chat thread on a forum. They worked very differently and personally I think they can cause more harm than good.

    The first forum I was on was spontaneous but ended up causing problems. Problem one. A clique developed, I was part of that though I think I made some attempt to include others. There were 4 of us and it was a lovely little friendship though if I wasn't on line for a couple of days I'd worry as there was so much to catch up on. posts weren't checked til after they'd been posted.

    BB is by far the most professional forum I have come across. Because they do their job so thoroughly it means a chatline can't work well. BB offers all kinds of support and for my part I feel those that run it care about me and of course everyone.

    it's inevitable that chatlines will produce special friendships. Philip kindly commented on my post. Others didn't and I don't say that unkindly as everyone is helpful to me on other threads.  I am, like most of us on here, very insecure. I made a point of saying I was going to the pictures. I didn't ask anyone else about their stuff so I'm not accusing. But I wanted someone to ask what the film was about. All this sounds like a criticism. I really don't mean it that way. How could I when we all want the best for each other? I very much think it's a good thing for those who get some benefit. For my part it adds to my anxiety.

    Please, don't think I'm saying people shouldn't have this thread but life is fraught enough so I'll stick to other threads.

    Helen x

  15. BKYTH
    BKYTH avatar
    200 posts
    9 December 2015 in reply to Missing user
    Homelessness doesn't concern me. Having an address has nothing to do with having a home. You have asked me a question which doesn't require a obligatory answer.....................................I have nothing within me at the moment by which I could attempt an answer. The void I am experiencing at the moment is asking of me to be more than I have been before as so I will be.  These are important moments. When we are lost then we are compelled to find ourselves at a place where we have never been before..................One has to face a life where the convenient certainties of yesterday are confined to history.                                                                                                                                                                                          Philip.
  16. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    9 December 2015 in reply to BKYTH
    Gosh Philip.  Now I dont comprehend your words.  Thats pretty 'heavy stuff.  I just hope you are okay.   
  17. BKYTH
    BKYTH avatar
    200 posts
    9 December 2015 in reply to Missing user
    What is 'OK'. What is its nature? What does it mean to say you are 'OK'..............................If one were to say that they are 'OK' what does that mean?                       Philip.
  18. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    9 December 2015 in reply to BKYTH
    I guess it means that they are coping with the current situation as it stands. That they do not need any outside help, or they are receiving the help that they need for the circumstances.  I guess you're not in favour of the RU OK day then?  I am glad that homelessness does not bother you.  It would me.  Philip I cant stay and chat further tonight unfortunately. I have a job interview tomorrow and I need to try to get some shut-eye.  So this is my last post!  At least for tonight anyway.  I hope you are not too unhappy?
    1 person found this helpful
  19. BKYTH
    BKYTH avatar
    200 posts
    9 December 2015 in reply to Missing user
    Good night.               Philip.
  20. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    9 December 2015 in reply to BKYTH
    Yep, I'm off now.  Good night to you too.  Maybe talk tomorrow. Take care. xx
    1 person found this helpful
  21. BKYTH
    BKYTH avatar
    200 posts
    10 December 2015 in reply to HelenM
    You make some very valid points. I was curious about the movie you were going to see but when you said "off to the pictures now" I didn't get the opportunity. I guess you will never read this as is implied by your post . Philip.
  22. Mangof
    Mangof avatar
    42 posts
    12 December 2015 in reply to BKYTH

    Hi Phillip ,

    i have thoroughly enjoyed your past written words and just wanted to say thanks I agree written words are a beautiful way to express from deep within allowing us to communicate in honesty and with true relevance to any topic. I also agree homelessness is an issue to those that think a home is four walls but to me a home is a safe place that allows you to be grounded , both mentally and physically not necessarily within a building structure. I feel just as connected to myself within four walls as I do in a beautiful outdoor space eg beside a river or in a field of red dirt that has just been ploughed. I feel that you will face each day as it appears and hope that you will find the place that you want to be stay safe stay happy I hope there won't be too much of a gap before we hear from you again, thankyou for supporting me in my journey your absence in these forums will be greatly missed and I look forward to seeing you on here again.

    thinking of you right here right now phillip

    stay happy :)

    mangof

  23. Agnetha
    Agnetha avatar
    52 posts
    20 February 2016 in reply to Doolhof

    or we could re-ignite this chat thread

    and this was started by Doolhof too. Doolhof think like me. She like various chat thread to choose from.

  24. Guest_1055
    Guest_1055 avatar
    7657 posts
    20 February 2016 in reply to Agnetha

    Hello Agnetha

    I see that found your way here...... I will be happy to visit with you for a while. I am not that good at talking a lot sometimes. But I can definitely listen to you. 

    So do you have something on your mind, that you want to say? I will to my best to understand.

    Shell xx

  25. Agnetha
    Agnetha avatar
    52 posts
    20 February 2016 in reply to Guest_1055

    oh shelley

    hi. I see you visit this chat thread. I welcome you on behalf of doolhof.  You are free to come any time .We also encourage non-native speakers like myself.

    I can serve you some Belgian beer with Swedish meatballs. it lumchtime special until 3.30pm , NSW time. You can read some European magazines here while you wait.

    Hug and kiss

    Agnetha

  26. Guest_1055
    Guest_1055 avatar
    7657 posts
    20 February 2016 in reply to Agnetha

    Hi Agnetha

    I need to go now, I have been waiting a little while for you. So maybe we could visit another time, that is if you would like to visit or chat with me. 

     

    Shell xx

     

  27. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    20 February 2016 in reply to Guest_1055

    Hi Shell, hello also to Agnetha.

    Shelley, I remind you that I think it was through this thread way back in Nov or Dec that I think I first met you.

    Agnetha, it is good that you found your way to a thread that I hope you find will satisfy your needs with regards to topics, discussions, feedback, etc.

    Obviously this thread has no restrictions on the topic of conversation.  You can talk about pretty much anything.  Same as for the Cafe thread.

    Enjoy,

    Sherie

  28. Guest_1055
    Guest_1055 avatar
    7657 posts
    20 February 2016 in reply to Missing user

    Ah Sherie my dear friend

    Yes I definitely remember that.

    Shell xx

    1 person found this helpful
  29. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8853 posts
    20 February 2016 in reply to Agnetha

    Hi Agnetha and Everyone, 

    I have just noted this thread has been started up again.

    Do you have some specific topic you would like to chat about? Do you have questions about depression or other mental health issues you would like to share?

    This thread can certainly be re-started.

    Cheers for now from Dools

     

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Guest_1055
    Guest_1055 avatar
    7657 posts
    20 February 2016 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Dools

    I am not sure, if you are still hanging around? I am a little scared to ask this I think.... I wanted to know if you are a Christian? I thought you might be, just from reading some of your posts. I have read a few, even older ones of yours.

    Shell xx

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