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Forums / BB Social Zone / Smallwolf's Den

Topic: Smallwolf's Den

  1. smallwolf
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    smallwolf avatar
    6279 posts
    15 November 2020

    I have one thread that is my story. I have created one other thread that is a never ending story with a post appearing at random times. I thought about things that I had in games I played and one thing that came to mind was a home. I post replies to other's stories and at the end of the day go to bed. Sometimes there can be things I want to say that might not fit in my story or other threads.

    So I decided to create this space where conversations might start and stop, change 180 degrees and go onto some some other tangent. You might have a question for me, or vice versa. Perhaps a place to shout or just get away.. so welcome to my den....

    A wolf's den... a home... a place of safety. I will describe this space in a future place.

    If you are looking for a chat, a space to share, come in and sit down around a small fire with a tea or coffee to recharge, for connection (?), re-imagination or anything else.

    4 people found this helpful
  2. AliasKind
    AliasKind avatar
    48 posts
    15 November 2020 in reply to smallwolf

    Hello,

    Thank you for making me welcome. I'd like to chat, but do not know what about. In many ways I feel like a lost and lonely person, I lead a lonely life and I so wish I didn't. How does one go about finding people to connect with? Join activities or pursuits you enjoy is a common suggestion. Seems so simple on paper.

    Thank you for creating the den x

    2 people found this helpful
  3. smallwolf
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    smallwolf avatar
    6279 posts
    15 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind

    hi and welcome to my first visitor! Yay! cake for you...

    what things give you enjoyment? hobbies? If you like reading then perhaps a book club.

    It also require a commitment - that you will follow through, to go to that first meeting. Or the second. I have recently joined a professional group and there next meeting is coming up. So for me to attend would be a big thing - a chance to meet similar people in the industry I want to work in. Nice to meet you :)

    2 people found this helpful
  4. AliasKind
    AliasKind avatar
    48 posts
    16 November 2020 in reply to smallwolf

    Thanks for the cake, hmm what things give me enjoyment..... cooking, squash, the amazing race. How about yourself? I'm not a big reader, currently trying to improve my reading with spreeder - an app for speed reading.

    Yes I agree, we do have to push through the uncomfortableness of the first few meetings etc. I'm in your corner for your meeting coming up - can you elaborate? Sounds intriguing also potentially beneficial being in an industry you want to work in. Who knows what could eventuate.

    I've sent out feelers to the Country Women's Association, see what their about; try and expand my social activities.

    So pleased to meet you also x

    1 person found this helpful
  5. smallwolf
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    smallwolf avatar
    6279 posts
    16 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind
    Me... Cooking. Wife is gluten free so have to be mindful of that.

    I don't watch much TV these days. Though I like MasterChef. More of a movie person. Saw rams with parents last week. It was quite good.

    Tell you about meeting in next post.
  6. AliasKind
    AliasKind avatar
    48 posts
    16 November 2020 in reply to smallwolf

    Rams with parents, I haven't seen or heard of that one, is a funny title. I watched Loving, Game Night and 90s classic Twister recently. I like you haven't been in to too much TV, I was watching The Block however that just ended. I really enjoy Greys Anatomy as-well, though that's not currently on.

    Where do your get your inspiration for cooking?

  7. Ggrand
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    16 November 2020 in reply to smallwolf

    Hello Smallwolf..

    I like Masterchef as well..Masterchef junior was amazing..first time I watched it....It wasn’t just the cooking but the beautiful and caring nature the children had..So much support and happiness for each others win...and helping each other when they could as well as congratulating each other....Each of their families must be so very proud of them...and the inspiration they gave to the viewers...

    I hope they produce it again for next year..

    Grandy...

    1 person found this helpful
  8. smallwolf
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    smallwolf avatar
    6279 posts
    16 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind

    @AliasKind -

    the movie was "Rams" that I saw with my parents. My wife likes that Twister movie... Me... not so much. She also said the block ends next Sun with the auctions. I am not sure where I got my inspiration for cooking. It was something I was OK at and always looking for ways of creating flavours when you have few ingredients in the fridge.

    I recently complete a diploma in counselling. My life was or has been a slow descent into "depression". I have my reasons for doing that course. Feel free to ask more if you want to.

    @Grandy -

    I watched a little of the junior version. Though I did see what you spoke about about them supporting each other. I just have little time for TV these days.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. AliasKind
    AliasKind avatar
    48 posts
    17 November 2020 in reply to smallwolf
    Hey congratulations on completing your diploma, that's great. Do you think it will help you connect with people? Are you going to use it in a professional context? Yes, the auctions are yet to happen however it's not on during the week, so I have nothing to watch. Do you currently work? I'm off to see employment people this morning - here's hoping they can help. Finding work is what I struggle most with - lack of confidence in my ability, talk myself down, it's just awful. I've been long time unemployed so it has gotten really bad. I hope you have a good day :)
    1 person found this helpful
  10. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    17 November 2020 in reply to smallwolf

    Hello smallwolf, AliasKind and Grandy.

    smallwolf, thank you for this thread. I was hoping to try and chat to people since it's been a while I was on here, but I don't want to pressure people into responding to me, anywhere on the forums.

    Take care everyone.

    - Tayla.

    1 person found this helpful
  11. smallwolf
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    smallwolf avatar
    6279 posts
    17 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind

    @AliasKind - It is a chapter meeting. I recently joined and is a way of getting to know other people and find out the goings on etc. Yes I do work, both in IT and Parish Admin. Good luck with the employment people. When looking for a job I would recommend using a professional resume service as it helps with using (inserting) words that sell you that you might not write yourself - there are plenty online.

    @mb20lover - hello. hope you are well? I think that people respond because they want to. what have you been up to lately? or what brought you back?

    I should describe this place a little (maybe)? Sounds that help me to relax are the following - rain, cavern, wind, forest sounds. I layer these together in relax melodies. In a game I once played there was a wolves den near a waterfall. Thirdly, the need for a space (for myself?) or a home where I could throw out random stuff that might not be exactly related to my story. Lastly, a place where if you wanted to contact me you could come here - to my home. And so I imagine this as a home, a cave that I took over, with all the sounds that relax me outside, and here inside I am warm and secure. I could so far to say there is no electricity and the only light is from a fire. My imagination has run wild again...

    2 people found this helpful
  12. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    17 November 2020 in reply to smallwolf

    Hey smallwolf.

    I'm trying my best, thank you. I just missed talking to people. I don't have any social stuff to do, I just have my Parents, Psychiatrist, GP & a Social Worker (whenever I can see her) as support, which yes, I'm thankful for. But what I'm trying to say is I don't have anything in my town that I can do or to meet people, even before COVID, so it's hard. That's why I thought about coming back, and to try and offer other people support, you included.

    I haven't been up to much, just the usual walking daily, playing a word search game on my iPad aswell as the colour by numbers app, sometimes colouring in physical colouring books, stuff like that. So not much really. I recently turned 21 also at the start of November.

    Those sound relaxing, thank you for the suggestion, and thank you for this thread. I appreciate it.

    Hi to everyone else here.

    - Tayla.

    1 person found this helpful
  13. AliasKind
    AliasKind avatar
    48 posts
    18 November 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Hi Tayla, nice to 'meet' you. A belated Happy Birthday to you. Thank you for sharing what you've been up too.

    Small Wolf I hired a professional career counsellor a few years ago who re-jigged my resume, I have a confidence crisis every time I think about work or career. Ughh

    I love the sound and smell of rain also. So tranquil. Wishing everyone a wonderful day. :)

    1 person found this helpful
  14. smallwolf
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    smallwolf avatar
    6279 posts
    18 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind

    @Tayla - Yes... belated happy birthday to you. Are you working at the moment? Or not able to do that at the moment (for any number of reasons)? I like listening to podcasts and recently have been listening to tales of people because of Covid or mental illness need a break.

    @AliasKind - starting a new job etc is considered to be one of life's top 10 stressful activities. And it can be difficult when you read what they might be looking for in a person. As long as you are willing to learn, you also have your own skills and talents that you bring. The other thing is that a job advert might include all the desirable items to cover all bases. And lastly sometimes these can be included to see who has the guts to reply. Having said all of this... I also have these thoughts of "am I good enough" and worse.

    2 people found this helpful
  15. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    18 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind

    Hello all.

    AliasKind - thank you, nice to meet you aswell. Thanks for the belated birthday wishes also.

    smallwolf - thank you for the belated birthday wishes also. No I'm not working, I've never had a job, I'm a failure, sigh. I have looked into things but I have no skills for anything. Plus I can't do a lot with my mental illnesses, even my GP & Psychiatrist said I'm limited, that and where I live (sort of a country town, but the biggest town is 30 mins away, with smaller towns in between of course). I've never listened to a Podcast, is there any way I can listen to them without making an account? It's like Audible, right? Except not a book, lol?

    Take care all.

    - Tayla.

    1 person found this helpful
  16. AliasKind
    AliasKind avatar
    48 posts
    18 November 2020 in reply to smallwolf

    Well that's my 'new' thing for today small wolf, thank you for adding some perspective. I must re-read your post every time .... every time I even contemplate the work situation.

    I don't think your a failure Tayla, you write beautifully and it is obvious you have a kind and compassionate soul - there's more than a few people out there who don't have that. Who needs to have life figured out hey, I know I don't, just rolling with it.

    I went to a Country Womens Association social morning today, my first meeting, so little bit proud of myself for finding the courage. Incorporating new takes commitment and a whole host of oomph, just have to keep on it.

    Any riveting activities today for either of you (or anyone else?)

    Thinking of you all x

    2 people found this helpful
  17. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    18 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind

    Thank you for the kind words AliasKind, that means a lot.

    CWA is a great organisation, I miss going to Biggest Morning Teas & stuff, I'd love to do something like that again one day. I'm not sure if there's any near me anyway.

    Haven't done much today as usual, just went for my daily walks and went out to Bakers Delight and that was all.

    - Tayla.

    1 person found this helpful
  18. AliasKind
    AliasKind avatar
    48 posts
    18 November 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Well yay for getting out of the house and more than once - that's something.

    Hope you have a good night

    1 person found this helpful
  19. smallwolf
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    smallwolf avatar
    6279 posts
    18 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind

    nothing special for me today. Just another day in paradise *sarcasm alert*.

    @Tayla - Walking is good for many reasons. Regarding podcasts - I downloaded installed "Pocket Casts" from Google play and then within the app, search for things that interest me. For example, Brene Brown, counselling, plus other random ones. Osher (the guy from The Bachelor) has a podcast that covers mental health issues. Beyond blue has one as well. I don't recall needing to use any account. And the player I use is free.

    @AliasKind - tell me all about the CWA meeting? Did you have fun?

    2 people found this helpful
  20. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    18 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind

    Hey again all.

    AliasKind - thank you. I feel like I'm very housebound, before COVID too. I only go out for groceries or something with my parents, or walking daily, that's pretty much all, or to run errands such as check the pool water or something. Essential stuff really, pre COVID also like I said. My Psychiatrist is trying to get me to do what's called "graded exposure" because I have a social anxiety, or as he says, a phobia. I get extremely anxious around people. So one of the things he, and my Dad too, want me to do is go into shops by myself, say like KFC, and order some food. I've been trying to do it more. I went into Chemist Warehouse the other day & looked around & paid on my own. I know this sounds silly as I'm 21 and should be driving myself around & doing this anyway but I have a LOT of anxiety, etc. so what may sound easy, is not. I'm trying to get better at it but I still get very anxious. I've been into places to order food and people have been rude & laughed at me just because I said the name of the food I wanted wrong or something, sigh.

    smallwolf - yes walking can be good. Thanks for telling me about the Podcasts. I've been meaning to watch a video I think that was on Instagram Live, with Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam (I've always liked Pearl Jam but I'm listening to them more lately), discussing mental health. Their song Jeremy is a true story & touches on that.

    - Tayla.

    1 person found this helpful
  21. AliasKind
    AliasKind avatar
    48 posts
    19 November 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Howdy, the CWA it was nice, they were all retired ladies which is to be expected given that it was mid morning on a weekday but the prospects of forming a friendship aren't good. It's a little awkward to be on the outer of a cohesive group however they were all welcoming, I felt I sat there and didn't do a lot of talking, which is kind of in my nature. I struggle to think of things to say. I've always been the listener and don't people use those!

    Tayla, how do you feel afterwards, going into the Chemist on your own? I'd like to think proud, I'm proud of you - seems like that was a big step. That's unfortunate people have been rude to you and laughed, more than unfortunate - sounds really very immature. Do you ever think and look at them, like their weird. I would, of course I can only imagine how this interplays with your anxiety and is an example of what fuels and perpetuates it. I'm so happy for you that you have a team of supportive Dr's, sounds like they were difficult to acquire.

    I wish you both a wonderful day or at least wonderful moments within the day.

    I'm off Ten Pin Bowling with a group I'm a part of, to help get me socialising and out of the house. It's only me and one other guy with the lady who runs it so again unlikely to form any friendships.

    2 people found this helpful
  22. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    19 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind

    Hey all.

    AliasKind, good to hear the CWA thing was lovely. I miss those. Apparently there's a Pink Ribbon Brunch (which all goes to Cancer Charities, good cause and any excuse to eat, I'm in lol) in my town but I'm not sure if they're still doing it with COVID, and I don't know where it is, maybe in the Town Hall here, and not sure of the date. I read somewhere that you have to buy tickets but it includes a donation, food, drinks & Champagne (fancy haha). But it's all a good cause. I also read that they have more COVID seating so it must be the social distancing. I'll have to try and find more about it.

    Thanks for the kind words. Yes I always think they're weird. I've been into Cafes by myself and sat in there whilst waiting for my food to get taken away and I've just been reading the paper while I've been waiting and people have laughed and I'm not even doing anything wrong. In one Fish & Chip shop, this lady laughed at me because I asked for a 1 piece snack box (1 fish, chips, 1 dim sim & 1 potato cake) but it was called something else so she laughed. It was nice food but I haven't been back, plus it's 3 hours away since we moved 2-3 years ago.

    I miss 10 Pin Bowling, I wasn't that good at it but it was fun. Last time I went 10 Pin Bowling, I was in high school, about year 8 so 2013 I think. This guy wanted to go with me, I think he liked me because he hung out with me sometimes and used to try and flirt with me and sit next to me, and nominated me to do the Ice Bucket Challenge years ago on his video on Facebook, lol. He had some sort of illness or disability so I think it meant a lot to him that I was kind, which I try to be to everyone, because he had this special carer or something for him, who was nice and used to chat to me.

    Take care all.

    - Tayla

    1 person found this helpful
  23. AliasKind
    AliasKind avatar
    48 posts
    20 November 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Howdy,

    Tayla - Nothing wrong with asking for a snack box, in my opinion - makes complete sense. How is your day going? Mine has been a little slow. I honestly think if I had more things to do, my depression would lift immensely, of course I know it's up to me to find the things to do. There seems to be a real sticking point of not having to do anything, wishing I did have things to do, too not wanting to do the things I have to do. I'm not sure which one is more counter productive. Better not to get in my head about it I'd say, having things to do would give me other things to focus on, instead of going around and around.

    I hope small wolf is ok, not sinking or struggling on his own. Thinking of you

    Hope your having a nice day Tayla :)

    1 person found this helpful
  24. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    6279 posts
    20 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind

    Still here! :)

    Had some things to do last night, and daughter's graduation today from highschool. Be around more tomorrow.

    Tim

  25. AliasKind
    AliasKind avatar
    48 posts
    21 November 2020 in reply to smallwolf

    Good to hear, Tim. A graduation, that's a momentous occasion, congratulations to her and your family.

  26. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    6279 posts
    21 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind
    And she found out she got into Uni on the same day!
  27. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    21 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind

    Hey AliasKind & smallwolf.

    Thank you. My days are usually boring, only go out walking and for the essentials like groceries, so I'm pretty housebound. Or if I go to appointments, that's all. Don't see my GP & Psychiatrist until December. I did have an appointment with my GP recently but I saw him 2 weeks before that so I thought I'd cancel and he was going to ask me if I found a Psychologist & I haven't yet, and I couldn't be bothered, because then he'd say that I wasn't trying and so on. Ugh. I understand how you feel about no motivation, etc to do anything. I'm wide awake at night then tired during the day but my body won't let me nap. I have insomnia and it sucks. Thinking of you both too.

    - Tayla.

  28. AliasKind
    AliasKind avatar
    48 posts
    22 November 2020 in reply to Missing user

    A bigger congratulations! That's fantastic.

    Ughhh insomnia - how dreadful, I feel for you. Are you hoping your appointments in Dec will shed new light or bring about some positive change?

    May you both have a lovely Sunday :)

    1 person found this helpful
  29. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    6279 posts
    23 November 2020 in reply to AliasKind

    Insomnia - have you had a sleep test done? My son as hypersomnia... the opposite of you - can sleep forever not does not necessarily feel the benefits!

    Going to go back to GP on Wed. Might have high blood pressure. arrrghh!

  30. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    6279 posts
    25 November 2020 in reply to smallwolf

    For the next week I will be taking my blood pressure each day and night.

    Tomorrow I see my psychologist!

    Tired... I will lie down and recharge in this cave.

    What if we recharged ourselves as much as we did with our phones?

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