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Forums / Depression / ADHD + Chronic Pain, now Depressed.

Topic: ADHD + Chronic Pain, now Depressed.

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Lost in space.
    Lost in space. avatar
    3 posts
    23 October 2021

    Hi new on here.

    Am 63. 56/57 i was diagnosed with ADHD. Was an enlightening moment for me. I been different from as far back as i can remember. But finding out helped me a lot. I have put my own defence mechanisms in over time. Held back at school, dropped out soon as i could. All i wanted to do was work. So i got a mechanical trade, passing paper exams, couple of bites to drag through.
    So my ADHD i am happy with. I have purpose and drive when i have a goal. Once attained i lose interest. I have achieved a lot in life and my bucket list is empty. There are no more challenges for me.
    30 yrs ago i broke an ankle very bad. 3 years ago i broke it again. This time pain was beyond. I stayed doing what t i was busy with for 3 weeks. Literally just cried for 3 weeks but my head would not let me give up. 3 months later i was assessed with chronic pain, irreparable nerve damage. So stewed my head with medications, these turned my brain to fluid. I got suicidal, hallucinations and cried from pain. A year after i decided to stop, had two failed ops. Would not die a drug addict. So for two years i fought with everything. Used to cry walking, i walked looking at the ground. Now i got the pain down so i can work, until i upset the applecart. But i am sore and grumpy. Short with all. My doc put up with a lot. Tells me i am depressed, no frustrated!
    So couple months ago i was looking at ADHD and it leads to depression. So then i looked at depression. I tick a lot of boxes.I am empty inside, hopeless, worthless, useless, zero value. When asked by a friend and i am honest, look inside my vacuum and just cry. When i go to the doc’s i feel like i am begging and i cry. I had a full go a while ago to put myself to sleep. Wasn’t to be. Now i am in a worse place because i have to face those those i affected.
    Am now on anti depressants. Not happy but i will give it a go. I walk as little as possible. Cannot do physical.
    I have a better half that still puts up with me, why i will never know?

    so i am after some building blocks to start on value. I am really a loner. Do not need a lot of friends but have good value ones. I am difficult around people.
    Was as good as gold until the injury. Now i have to fight a bit more. I battle with being such a baby and useless.

    Understand pain and minimising it. But its the uselessness of me that i battle with. I want to be happy helpful me once more.
    lots of bits to fill in but there are the basics.

     

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6161 posts
    23 October 2021 in reply to Lost in space.
    Hi  Lost in space,

    We are so sorry to hear about what you're going through; it sounds like it has been a tough time. Thank you for being part of our forums, it takes a lot of courage and strength to reach out for support and we are so glad that you have done so. We hope that you can get some support here, the community will be here to listen and chat with you. You can also reach out to Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline 13 11 14.  We have sent you a private email so that we can support you further.

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