I am really sorry that you are feeling this way, and experiencing the emotion of being stuck.
I hope by sharing my own personal experiences, of being diagnosed with major depression will provide you with some support and guidance.
My clinical diagnosis would not have been possible if I had not taken the first initial step of visiting my GP, this allowed me to express my detailed thoughts and feelings in a safe and secure environment.
This allowed my GP to produce and implement a detailed care plan/strategy which included a combination of medication and counselling, but more importantly this allowed the team to identify the root causes of the what and why, I was feeling depressed.
I hope my post was useful and supports you in making that first step as well.
Wishing, you all the best.