dear Hayley, there have been so many positive comments by all those people above me, too many to type.
Your comment of falling asleep and not waking up is a worry for me, and it concerns me greatly.
As David Charles has said people who say 'everything will be ok you will get through this', is an ignorant comment, in fact they don't understand one bit of how depression destroys your life, and yes 'they have never had it'.
It also annoys me when a doctor makes the same comment, and you say when, why doesn't it happen now, today or even tomorrow would be OK, 'well we don't know, sorry sign here and see you next week', money money money that's what it boils down to, although this may be disrespectful to some, because there are psych's. who do care.
In depression we are put into a void, or a maze where we have no clue as to how to get out of it, or maybe a barrel with the sides all being greased, so there's no way out.
I can't speak for everyone but I was in the same situation as you, nothing seemed to work, day in day out I put the fake face on everyday and it became momentous, my face instantly knew where my smile normally sits, in the same groove where my wrinkles now sit.
I like the comment by Mark about looking in the mirror, sure you might cry a couple of times before you can accept the fact that hey is that you Hayley, my hair needs a wash, and when was the last time I shaved, I look like --------, and if I can change the bed clothes, awww that feeling of clean pillow cases and the smell of them, oh that's so nice.
Unfortunately there is no magic pill, but there will be one one day, and we just take it day by day, and if I feel worse tomorrow then yesterday was a better day. Take care, but I am concerned for you. Geoff.