Firstly thanks to those that have either read or commented on my post, I appreciate it. Secondly since posting the original post I have shown it to my wife and this has allowed the lines of communication to be opened up which has made me feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am not fixed but god it felt good to be able to attempt to talk to her about how I felt over recent times and to my wifes credit, she has been amazing about it all. Never pushing for details but always willing to listen to what I had to say, and often it was not really coherant or would be in bits and pieces over the last few days. Having such a supportive person in my life is certainly going to help me deal with this and things into the future with less of a feeling like I am doing it alone.
The negative comments running through my head have not dissappeared, but I am trying to overcome them by trying to change them into a positive or less negative, its kinda working(sometimes) or trying to make my mind busy with another task. I see my doctor in the next few days, so will be interesting to see what she suggests for how I am feeling and how I continue to deal with my issues.
I would say that by writing the post and finally admitting to myself and my wife that I am struggling, things have changed for the better for me and my family, i feel less angry, less agitated, less over whelmed by almost everything, less like my body was a tight ball of stress just waiting to explode at my wife or kids or crying because I still haven't fixed the stupid backdoor that broke weeks ago.
I hope that someone may read this post and other peoples posts and take that step that can scare us so much, and have faith that someone in their life, either a partner, a family member or friend, will take the time to listen and help in what ever way they can;