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Forums / Depression / I am feeling Very Lonely in Life

Topic: I am feeling Very Lonely in Life

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. jonny09
    jonny09 avatar
    10 posts
    25 October 2021
    I am a solo entrepreneur. I work in front of my computer, i don't have any employee or team member, i work alone.
    the thing is that, i find it very difficult to make friends.
    I am an introvert, so, i find it difficult to walk to a stranger and start a conversation.

    Many times when other people have fun and talk in groups, i get jealous. I always feel, why can't i have that fun.
    Reason for loneliness is that i have very few friends.
    I have noticed that, friends is someone who has same interests and liking.
    I am someone who does (online marketing by profession), and i get very intrigued when someone talks about my field or job.
    But on the other hand, i find it very difficult to make normal conversation with people. Most of the time, i am not confident and not interested in the topic.
    And i find it very suffocating and awkward when i try to act as an extrovert. Because it doesn't matches my mannerism and personality.
    Due to my personality, i attract only 1% of the crowd. 90% of the crowd is more attracted towards an extrovert and socially confident people.
    So, shud i change my personality in order to be acceptable by majority of the crowd? Or shud i be myself and try to find good friends in that 1% crowd.
    And not having many friends does feel pretty lonely and sad.
    1 person found this helpful
  2. Justin95
    Justin95 avatar
    32 posts
    25 October 2021 in reply to jonny09
    I have few friends and I’m an introvert. I mostly keep to myself. I do not force myself to make friends with people who have different tastes. I am proud to be myself. I have a few friends that are way fun to be with then the rest of the people I know.
    kind thoughts
  3. HappyHelper88
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    HappyHelper88 avatar
    164 posts
    25 October 2021 in reply to jonny09

    Hello jonny09 thanks for your post,

    Your definelty not the only one who has trouble making friends
    Generally yes a friend is someone who has same interest and liking but can sometimes just have one main thing in common
    Having a common interest in a career field is a good common interest to have
    I find it difficult too but sometimes I ask probing questions to start the conversation and once u start to have a conversation flow it becomes easier
    Probing questions such as What did u get up to on the weekend? etc just to spark a response
    There may be a lot of extroverts but you are bound to run into an introvert
    You could even mention to the person "Hey I'm pretty introverted this is new to me" and there response could make u more comfortable

    You should never change who you are because u are unique and should always try and stay true to yourself however you could try and make an effort to occasionally step out of your comfort zone whilst still staying true to yourself
    People appreciate honesty and effort
    Dont push yourself too hard but making an effort could benefit you
    You will make friends who are similar to you just be patient:)

    I hope this helps

  4. jaz28
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    jaz28 avatar
    278 posts
    25 October 2021 in reply to jonny09

    Hi there,

    I feel like we all feel like this sometimes- even the most extroverted of people can. I know some extroverted people that actually have few close friends because they struggle to form deeper connections below meaningless conversations. Just because someone looks as if everyone wants to talk to them and that they have all these friends, doesn't mean it is true. You never truly know their life behind closed doors and the exterior they put on a show. So, my advice is to not compare yourself to others. I am truly terrible at this, but whenever I find myself comparing I remind myself that it is just their highlight reel, sometimes fake confidence and you do not truly know how they are feeling inside.

    I'd describe myself as an ambivert - I like to talk to others and often find things to discuss, but doing too much of this drains me, especially if I have no interest in the conversation. I only have two or three close friends that I see on the reg, my family and my boyfriend - the rest are friends or acquaintances I might see at a party and catch up with. I feel like this is normal, especially as you grow older (small circles that is).

    As an introvert, you probably find uninteresting convos or small talk meaningless, and therefore cannot engage because it drains your energy. Whereas, an extrovert THRIVES off of any type of conversation. That is what you're seeing. We are all different, have different personalities and ways of conversing with others. Do not compare yourself to an extrovert who thrives off of any talk, when in fact - you cannot endure it because it seems useless to you. And that's fine.

    Maybe you could find some hobbies or groups of entrepreneurs (online or in-person) where you can meet people with similar interests as yours. This will make it easier to talk - and the great thing is everyone else there will be trying to make friends too.

    It is hard to walk up to someone and start talking for anyone - so I would suggest finding a club or group that has similar interests and seeing where that goes. Just be yourself.

    A psychologist could also help you work through these feelings.

    Stay strong,

    Jaz.

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Lillianj
    Lillianj avatar
    5 posts
    25 October 2021 in reply to jonny09

    Hi Jonny

    I can relate to what you're saying as a somewhat introverted computer/tech focused person in a work team full of fairly extroverted people who I find quite overwhelming much of the time.

    I also know the lonely feeling so I'm sorry you're experiencing that.

    I personally find that introverts are usually the most interesting people. I understand that many people flock towards the loud entertaining extroverts but, just so you know, there are also those of us that value quality and uniqueness over sheer volume :)

    I agree with jaz that connecting with like-minded people through online networks and so on is a way to put yourself out there. It won't be easy but over time you will meet people you gel with in one way or another.

    Hang in there and keep being you

    Lillian

    1 person found this helpful

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