Sounds like you've done a massive amount of hard work, something to be incredibly proud of. A massive amount of hard work can be undeniably exhausting. I find the mental and soulful hard work it takes to make significant progress on our path in life can be highly underrated by others at times. Sometimes, it's hard not to wonder 'What is everyone's problem? Why can't they see it (all my hard work and progress)? Why am I the only one who truly acknowledges it?'
I think people are basically crazy at times, the way they can't see things that are so obvious. Are they distracted? Are they careless? Are they more focused on their own problems? There can definitely be a lot of questions when it comes to trying to work other people out. With all the questions, it's kinda like setting out on a quest to figure out what the heck is wrong with folk at times. But then you come across highly sensitive people who can easily get a sense of a lot of the pain, the triumphs, the hours or days spent in a state of self questioning, the acquisition of new aspects of our self (like the hero, the analyst, the philosopher), the pure exhaustion and the list goes on.
Sometimes I think our greatest achievements in regard to surviving some incredible battle (including the battle with depression) can kind of resemble one of those scenes from a movie. It's like you can picture some ticker tape parade with people cheering you having made it out of battle alive but what you get is the opposite. Like one of those movie scenes, you get empty streets, where you're standing there alone with the sound of crickets chirping (to emphasise the silence). Where the hell is everyone? But then, if you imagine, you call out to all the people who have fought as hard as you...suddenly people come from out of nowhere. The people who appear can relate to how hard your battle has been, how hard you've fought to be here. It's then that you know your not alone.
While we're not give a badge of honour or a medal for bravery, there is no denying the courage it takes to survive and progress beyond one of the greatest challenges we've ever faced in our life.
Stardust, I show up to celebrate you :) Now, what do you think is wrong with all those people in your life who aren't showing up?