Thank you so much for coming to the forums and bravely sharing your experiences. We hope that you feel safe and supported to continue posting on the forums, this is a welcoming and accepting community who offer genuine and honest advice and support.
It is very common for people to express feelings of doubting how they feel, but only you can express those feelings. Pleae know you are in the right place to discuss, discover and express yourself and how you feel without judgement. We can hear that you are grieving following your grandpa's passing, please be assured this is a normal and healthy process following the loss of a loved one. It may feel as though there is no end to the grief and depression, but we as a community are here to support you on that journey.
It sounds very distressing to have dreams of that nature and it must also make it hard to get a good nights rest. We would highly recommend discussing these issues with your G.P as they may provide specific techniques or aids to help you through this period of adjustment and asist with sleeping.
Please know that you're not alone with this, you can call the Beyond Blue Support Service at any time, on 1300 22 4636 or webchat via Beyond Blues Website https://www.beyondblue.org.au/support-service/chat . They can help if you feel you need someone to talk to or to discuss assistance that may be available for you.
Also avalible are Kids Helpline (for ages between 5 and 25) 1800 551 800.
It's worth remembering that immediate support is not available via the forums. Some days are slower than others, and some topics hit home with people more than others. The amount of replies received will always vary from day to day. If you feel that your safety is at risk please call emergency on 000.
We understand feeling that it can be overwhelming joining the forums, but we would love for you to continue to seek out further ideas and recommendations within the community. These are links to a relevant threads, https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/grief-and-loss/dealing-with-grief-and-loss
We hope that you find help and support through the experiences and knowledge shared by the great Beyond Blue community, please continue to share with us and engage on the forums. Thank you again for trusting the community to assist you and being strong enough to share your personal experience.