Hello Louisville, welcome to the forums and I'm sorry that you haven't had a reply, this can happen if the site is busy, so all the new threads push other comments onto page 2 so I'm really sorry.
No, you are not mean, I think pretending to cover our depressed thoughts is common, it's something that I also did, but you are very kind to help others in time of need, that's being patriotic and thank you for doing this.I'd like to talk with you about the alcohol, but take the time you need.
I would be going back to your doctor to have your medication reviewed, especially if you believe they aren't doing much, however, if your boyfriend is causing this to happen, then there's only one option to do, ask him to leave as I know what the 'gist' means, start to get yourself into a better mind frame.
Are you able to have any counselling, just asking, thanks?
As you love dogs, you will have many friends, and I know where I live you can get people to take their dog on a daily walk for them, they charge an hourly rate, so you might consider doing this, but you might need to wear a current registration tag.
I know the 'eye seeing dog' need people to help house puppy dogs until they are big enough to be trained, but having to give them back would be difficult, until it's done regularly.
Hope to hear back from you.