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Forums / Depression / So Confused and Exhausted

Topic: So Confused and Exhausted

11 posts, 0 answered
  1. Louisville
    Louisville avatar
    8 posts
    3 January 2019

    Hello All

    First off...thanks for reading my post. I am new to this site and not sure how to go really...therefore I will try to keep it small!

    My diagnosis is major depression and 'aspects' of BPD . I also have issues with alcohol. I understand how I have come to this point and I won't go into it here. I am just looking for friends to talk to. Most people I know would have absolutely no idea about me...I put on a brave face and everyone either thinks I am ok or basically they don't care (which is fine as I don't truly care about others either! UNLESS they are suffering..then I will do my utmost to help). That may sound mean...it is not meant to. Just that I am surrounded by wealthy, successful and happy people who really would not understand me if they only knew.

    I am so over it...the meds (that I do not think help)...the struggle daily...I have a 'boyfriend' who I believe is making me worse! He is unemployed, uneducated, unmotivated....you get the gist. I guess I am just wondering if there is anyone out there feeling the same and what you do to deal with it. I absolutely adore dogs so I go to the dog beach/park every day for my 'furapy'! I am currently unemployed and hating my boring life and sitting around thinking rubbish all day/all night....sorry if this is a bit convoluted.

    Thanks for reading.

    L

  2. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    11424 posts
    4 January 2019 in reply to Louisville

    Hello Louisville, welcome to the forums and I'm sorry that you haven't had a reply, this can happen if the site is busy, so all the new threads push other comments onto page 2 so I'm really sorry.

    No, you are not mean, I think pretending to cover our depressed thoughts is common, it's something that I also did, but you are very kind to help others in time of need, that's being patriotic and thank you for doing this.I'd like to talk with you about the alcohol, but take the time you need.

    I would be going back to your doctor to have your medication reviewed, especially if you believe they aren't doing much, however, if your boyfriend is causing this to happen, then there's only one option to do, ask him to leave as I know what the 'gist' means, start to get yourself into a better mind frame.

    Are you able to have any counselling, just asking, thanks?

    As you love dogs, you will have many friends, and I know where I live you can get people to take their dog on a daily walk for them, they charge an hourly rate, so you might consider doing this, but you might need to wear a current registration tag.

    I know the 'eye seeing dog' need people to help house puppy dogs until they are big enough to be trained, but having to give them back would be difficult, until it's done regularly.

    Hope to hear back from you.

    Geoff.

  3. Louisville
    Louisville avatar
    8 posts
    4 January 2019 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff

    Many thanks for your reply. I love your little dog!!

    I am booked in to see a psychologist in just over a week. I am hoping he may be able to help me get through all this.

    I drink because I am so bored and feel so empty and that there is nothing to look forward to. When I have had a few I feel better. I know it is doing my health and my wallet no good. I do try to 'do the right thing' but have very low self discipline...which I also try hard to work on to no avail. I just feel I am going around in circles!

    I do have my own darling dog. He is unfortunately very anti-social so I cannot take him to the dog park or beach; which breaks my heart. He is a rescue and although I have tried to socialise him it has not worked. However he is the light of my life and my best friend!

    I look forward to talking further with you.

    L

  4. Sadme
    Sadme avatar
    2 posts
    4 January 2019
    Hi Louisville, sorry that you are not feeling good. I just wanted to mention that our dog was very unsocial too. We paid for individual training and he was put on medication. He is so much better now but they say he will need to take it the rest of his life. Have you been on meds long? They do take a while to work. If they are not working then go back and tell your doctor. Now if only I could tell my own doctor how I am feeling. Good luck to you.
  5. Louisville
    Louisville avatar
    8 posts
    4 January 2019 in reply to Sadme

    Thank you so much for your response.

    I have paid for dog psychologists all to no avail!

    I have been on meds for years...different ones..none of them seem to make one iota of difference. I know deep down inside myself that the only way I can feel good again is to stop being a doormat to certain people in my life and to make positive choices for myself. Very easy to type..not so easy to implement. However..I never give up!

    x

    L

  6. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    geoff avatar
    11424 posts
    5 January 2019 in reply to Louisville

    Hello Louisville, thanks for getting back to me.

    I don't think anybody can have perfect self-discipline, especially when you're not feeling well and when this doesn't work out you become feeling unsatisfied by an activity, or uninterested in it can then lead to boredom, maybe that's why you drink.

    I'm not condoning your drinking, as I was the same, but there is a reason why, and that can be from a hidden problem, one you know or don't know about is a concern.

    Dogs can always be a solution and they are, but what's worrying you really need to be talked about, only if you are at that stage which is why you have booked in to see a psychologist and that's terrific.

    Can I suggest that you write down what has been the cause of this and how you have been feeling, then hand a copy over to them, this sort of breaks the ice so when you are asked 'how can I help you' you don't freeze up and forget half of what you want to say.

    Are you able to do the K-10 test (google it) it's a depression test, and try to do it several times, not straight after the other, but at different times of the day, then you can hand over the result to them?

    My little dog is a Jack Russell, 9 years old but has arthritis in her front leg.

    Love to hear back from you.

    Geoff.

  7. Louisville
    Louisville avatar
    8 posts
    5 January 2019 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff

    Thanks for your post. I will do the test and see what transpires!

    Sorry about your darling little dog...my older hound had arthritis so was on injections which helped her.

    I am off to the dog beach so will chat later! I hope you have a great day!

    L

  8. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    11424 posts
    5 January 2019 in reply to Louisville

    Hello Louisville, it's terrific to hear back from you.

    If I can say that you're doing this test for a good reason, something you might already know the answer to, but it's more for your doctor and psychologist to see.

    I know how arthritis affects our puppies so much, and I'm sure they also have depression.

    Try and enjoy your day at the beach.

    I will get back to you tomorrow morning as I start first thing in the morning 12.30am, and although I may not post a comment I read other posts just to catch up.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

  9. Louisville
    Louisville avatar
    8 posts
    5 January 2019 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff

    I had a lovely day at the dog beach; met so many beautiful dogs and their 'owners'! I am so grateful to you for talking to me. I really appreciate it. I wish we could just talk privately as so far I really get you and like your understanding and kind nature.....anyway I hope you have a great day and I will talk to you again soon.

    L

  10. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    11424 posts
    6 January 2019 in reply to Louisville

    Hello Louisville, good morning, having the day at the beach, frees you from all these people, you can watch the dogs run around on the sand and in and out of the water, it gives you the freedom that you don't have anywhere else.

    What are the people like on the beach, chatty, care-free and have similar interests as you do?

    Look after yourself.

    Geoff.

  11. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    11424 posts
    12 January 2019 in reply to Louisville

    Hi Louisville, just wondering how you are going.

    Geoff.

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