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Forums / Depression / Struggling to fit in and depression.

Topic: Struggling to fit in and depression.

10 posts, 0 answered
  1. spaceyogurt
    spaceyogurt avatar
    5 posts
    5 May 2021

    I arrived to Australia last year and I still am unable to fit in here. Being an introverted person, I did not join most university activities as most of it is partying and drinking, which I do not like. Due to this I have spent most of my time in my room for the past 2 years and it has made me depressed and very anxious. I do not have any close friends here or back at home, so I have nobody to talk to. Since childhood I have always had really low self esteem due to my looks. (My friends and family used to make fun of me due to being overweight). But I am not that fat either (90kg) but because of the past bullying, I have really bad social anxiety which prevents me from meeting new people. Im always scared of being made fun of when Im in public.

    I started doing better habits few months ago, quit smoking, started working out and eating healthy. But i feel like my mood is getting worse day by day and Im struggling to concentrate on my studies now. Ive lost interest in my hobbies too.

    Everyday I think of making an appointment with a GP to get help, but I end up not doing it due to my negative self talk. I feel like a fraud and that my symptoms are not that serious and feel like doctors are gonna judge me or sth. I dont know what will motivate me to get help, it just feels like a huge effort to call the clinic and ask for an appointment.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    14210 posts
    5 May 2021 in reply to spaceyogurt

    Hello Spaceyogurt, and a warm welcome to the forums.

    When someone is suffering from any type of depression, we may try and organise ourselves to give us some sort of motivation, unfortunately, at times we aren't able to become satisfied, it's not by want of trying, but in our heart, there doesn't seem to be light at the end of the tunnel, there is though and it's what other people think, it's how you actually feel that's important.

    It really does matter that you see a doctor, don't we call a plumber if the kitchen tap has broken and flooded the floor and don't we ring someone to do a favour for us, yes, so that's what you should do, ring and make an appointment to speak to your doctor, write down on some paper how you are feeling and hand it over to them, this makes it so much easier than trying to answer a question they ask 'how can I help you'.

    From what you have told us, there is so much you want to talk about, and loss of wanting to continue your studies and no interest in hobbies indicates, although I'm not qualified to say, experience tells me that these negative thoughts need to be discussed.

    Ask the doctor about the 'mental health plan', which gives you a Medicare rebate for approximately 6-10 sessions per year to see a psych.

    If you are under 26 years of age, then you can also talk with Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 by phone, webchat or online, they treat people 25 and under.

    Another option I always suggest for people not enjoying uni is to perhaps defer until you feel as though you want to continue, although I can't tell you what to do, it's just a suggestion.

    We'd really like to hear back from you.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    14210 posts
    5 May 2021 in reply to geoff

    Hello Spaceyogurt, can I just correct 'it's not what other people think, it's how you actually feel that's important.

    Sorry.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    97 posts
    5 May 2021 in reply to spaceyogurt

    Hi Spaceyoghurt,

    I definitely agree with Geoff about seeing your GP, psychologist too. It must be very hard having nobody to talk to. I also didn’t really have friends at uni or fit in - I was lucky I had a partner who was with me.

    you have been doing really good things - quitting smoking, working out, eating healthier. How long since you started all of these things may I ask?

    1 person found this helpful
  5. spaceyogurt
    spaceyogurt avatar
    5 posts
    5 May 2021 in reply to geoff

    Thank you, I'll try to see a doctor this week then.

    And yes I would have deferred if I could go back home, but due to the borders being closed, I would have to stay here even if I defer.

  6. spaceyogurt
    spaceyogurt avatar
    5 posts
    5 May 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    2 months since I quit smoking/vaping/all form of nicotine.

    1 month since i started working out and eating healthier.

  7. spaceyogurt
    spaceyogurt avatar
    5 posts
    11 May 2021 in reply to geoff
    I finally pushed myself to see a GP yesterday. He started medications. I feel a bit better that I've finally done the first step in getting help.
    2 people found this helpful
  8. M2
    M2 avatar
    28 posts
    12 May 2021 in reply to spaceyogurt

    It will take at least a few weeks for the medication to kick in. I'm really happy that you have taken the leap and reached out and sought help.

    Good luck, you deserve happiness :-)

  9. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    14210 posts
    12 May 2021 in reply to spaceyogurt

    Hello Spaceyogurt, it's always good when you or someone else decides to visit your doctor, but know that it's never easy, especially if you have been putting it off, worried about what may be said, take it as being the first step or the hurdle you need to overcome before help can begin.

    When we first start taking AD's the immediate reaction is that they are doing wonders for you, but this may then bellow out and could slightly drop, only until the AD begins its work, sometimes the effect may be instant or it could take 4 up to 6 weeks to have the effect you want, please be patient, although understandably, we want it to gain the effect straight away.

    As M2 says 'deserve happiness'.

    Geoff.

  10. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    97 posts
    12 May 2021 in reply to spaceyogurt

    Sorry I missed your reply on May 5.

    Great that you have quit smoking and started working out.

    When we quit habits this causes pain - they provide a sense of pleasure which seems good in the immediate term but over time makes life worse. And the opposite with good habits were trying to start: they provide a sense of pain at first, but add up to better mental and possibly physical health later.

    So it’s great that you have seen your GP and have started these things. One of the things about having nobody to talk to is that it tends to make anxiety/depression worse (it may even cause it sometimes).

    I have had bad social anxiety most of my life so I know how you feel. What are/were your hobbies that you’re not interested in at the moment?

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