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Forums / Grief and loss / 2021: The year of loss

Topic: 2021: The year of loss

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Avenue89
    Avenue89 avatar
    2 posts
    4 January 2022

    Hi everyone,

    It has taken me a lot to get here. I usually am the silent battle type who doesn't like to ask for help but as we enter a new year I have realized I can't keep going the way I am. So, I'm here. Taking my first step.

    Where to begin...

    January, we had to put my cat of 18 years to sleep as he was slowly dying of kidney disease. We had to say goodbye to his sister a year and a half earlier which broke my heart.

    May, my dad passed away in palliative care of cancer. My relationship with him was not the best. We were always fighting, I felt emotionally bullied but he was also very generous. I think we just didn't understand each other for the most part.

    October, I lost my job and a week later my boyfriend broke up with me. Losing the job was mostly for the best as I was unhappy there but to be broken up with a week later, hurt. He was never very affectionate and in the end it was always me who would be putting in the effort.

    Among all that, I just feel lost in myself. I don't know what I want to do for a career and I don't know how to motivate myself. I have dreams and goals but I feel like I'm floating through the day.

    I just want to be happy again.

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
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    white knight avatar
    9780 posts
    4 January 2022 in reply to Avenue89

    Hi, welcome

    Same here. My wife's step dad, dear lady her mother and her father all passed last year. I am retired so I dont have the employment issues to deal with.

    We are also animal lovers and can relate to your loss.

    We often get grief stricken members here. The short answer is that time is the healer and the more time that goes on the more advanced the healing. It is of course obvious but you'd be surprised how many dont think time will make an affect.

    If possible a memorial of sorts can be a way of soothing. A rose garden or just one rose. Personally I have a guru I follow called Maharaji Prem Rawat. I use his youtube sites and they are fabulous.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-peDvmjkF6s

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpfuMFsBgNk

    I hope that helps.

    TonyWK

  3. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    3188 posts
    5 January 2022 in reply to Avenue89

    Hi Avenue89,

    Welcome.

    Thank you for joining us and for sharing what you've been through. It's hard to read, because it's not just loss - but loss after loss after loss. One is more than enough!

    I too experienced multiple losses at one stage, and it felt so overwhelming. It was almost like I didn't have enough time to grieve because one happened after the other.

    What do you think would be helpful for you?

    I appreciate you being here and hope you find its helpful. You're definitely not alone here, and reaching out was a really good idea.

    rt

  4. Avenue89
    Avenue89 avatar
    2 posts
    6 January 2022

    Thanks everyone for taking the time to read and reply to my post.

    I felt that since putting this in writing and posting it online, it has definitely helped me get some weight off my shoulders. Baby steps.

    I have done some memorial type things but nothing official, it will have to be something my family and I do together for it to feel like any kind of real closure.

    I'm not really sure what is helpful to me, I guess that is why I am here. But just being here, writing all this, definitely helps.

    1 person found this helpful

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