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Forums / Grief and loss / Can't remove the image from my memory! Words to my baby! *possible trigger warning*

Topic: Can't remove the image from my memory! Words to my baby! *possible trigger warning*

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. Solosombra
    Solosombra avatar
    209 posts
    21 May 2016

    Aurora Jane mason: not one day has gone by that I haven't thought of you. I remember the day before you were born I was a total mess stressing over everything and nothing, people were telling me that this will be the most memorable moment of my life! hearing your own baby girl cry out for the first time.

    So six years ago today daddy finished work and rushed to meet you and mummy at the hospital, full of pride for the first time I was so excited too meet you.

    But the entire floor was quite when I got there and all I could hear were heartbroken cries and tears,still born is what they told me. Daddy is so sorry he wasn't there, daddy is so sorry that he never got too hear your first scream, daddy is sorry he didn't have the strength to stay in the hospital with you and mum and ran off!

    I will always remember your ethereal face though my baby for the rest of my life! And your life which was taken from you will continue to play out in my dreams... It is the price I pay for living while you are no longer here.

    Love always and forever Dad xox

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
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    white knight avatar
    9744 posts
    21 May 2016 in reply to Solosombra

    Hi

    What a beautiful tribute to your child.

    Society tells us, forces us to keep living, to work to pay the bills and keep going. But emotionally we reserve the right for that special place in our hearts for our loved ones at times of our choosing. Nothing can take that away from us.

    To help you battle on into a positive future I will suggest writing some of those priceless words you have into an exercise book. Perhaps some poetry?

    To give you some idea, this was written in 1993.

    THE PORCH

    Upon a seat

    Where my dad once sat

    A smoke in his hands

    And slippers on a mat

    He'd be happy

    As long as my day smiled

    All his efforts he gave me

    Was worth his while

    Upon his seat

    Where my dad once sat

    A smoke in his hands

    And slippers on a mat....

    Such writings dont have to be long. They will be your tribute. And don't feel guilty

    Judging by your words Solosombra...you were the best dad you could be.

    Take care, there is a lot of future for you yet.

    Tony WK

  3. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    21 May 2016 in reply to Solosombra

    Oh Kiamau, that is so very sad. But your words to your baby girl are quite beautiful, so well done.

    You will never forget that day. As you will never forget other traumatic days in your past. But to lose a child must be the absolute worst, and is always a tragedy in the truest sense of the word.

    My heart breaks for you, and for little Aurora, for the times you never had the chance to spend together.

    Nothing I say can ever make a difference to how you feel Kiamau. But please know that I care greatly and I hurt along with you.

    I know today will be a really hard day for you, but I hope you can spend it with someone else who knows and cares for you. Is the mother of Aurora still on the scene?

    My little neice was killed in a car accident back in August last year. She was 11 at the time. But I have the solace of having happy memories to think back on. You do not have that, and I'm really sorry.

    I'm sorry I am unable to offer you anything Kiamau. All I can do is to give you a very heartfelt hug. I hope you will accept it.

    Sherie xx

  4. Solosombra
    Solosombra avatar
    209 posts
    21 May 2016 in reply to Missing user

    Thank you tony WK and Sherie!

    You're words are of comfort today :)

    1 person found this helpful
  5. pipsy
    pipsy avatar
    2255 posts
    21 May 2016 in reply to Solosombra

    Hi Kiamau. I'm so very sorry for your tragic loss. Never to know or hold your child is something every parent dreads. Please accept my sincere condolences on this sad day.

    Lynda.

  6. Solosombra
    Solosombra avatar
    209 posts
    21 May 2016 in reply to pipsy
    Hello lynda hope you have been well and Thank you:)
  7. CMF
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    CMF avatar
    9140 posts
    28 May 2016 in reply to Solosombra

    Kiamau,

    i am lost for words. How devastating for you, I cannot even begin to imagine what this is like. You are strong, brave, caring with so much pain in your heart. Aurora (beautiful name) is forever in your heart and I hope one day this may help ease your pain, to know she is alwAys there. I'm sure when you are feeling sad, lost, in a dark place Aurora will be there to comfort you and guide you. Her spirit is ALWAYS with you and in you - forever.

    cmf x

  8. Solosombra
    Solosombra avatar
    209 posts
    1 June 2016 in reply to CMF

    Cmf: thank you for your kind words, I'm glad it is beyond your comprehension its something I would never wish on anyone ever!

    She is my light when things get dark my dose of medicine for a bruised soul :)

    Hope you have been well??

    Kiamau x

    1 person found this helpful

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