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Forums / Grief and loss / Depression, grieving and maintaining a healthy relationship

Topic: Depression, grieving and maintaining a healthy relationship

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Sarah8
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Sarah8 avatar
    2 posts
    30 November 2015

    help!! I have recently lost my dad, im planning my wedding and im suffering from depression.

    i need help and don't want it to affect my relationship with my fiance.

     i told him last night that I didn't love him which isn't true only because I was so sad and angry that it just came out.

     i feel really bad and didn't mean it and need help with this all!!

  2. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7554 posts
    30 November 2015 in reply to Sarah8

    Dear Sarah

    I'm so sorry for your loss of your dad. Maybe you are still grieving, I think when someone is grieving they go through all sorts off emotions in all different stages. And the fact you have depression and you are planning your wedding, well that all seems a lot to me....... a bit of a heavy load to carry.  

    I know when I was planning my wedding, I felt a little stressed at times, and the fact I had to talk to people, didn't help either. For I find it difficult to talk to people.

    You know if I was in your situation, and I knew I loved my fiance and he loved me, than I would simply tell him, that I was sorry for the words that I said to him. I think just talk to him,and tell him how you feel. Well that is what I would do. Hope this helps you some. 

    Take care Sarah, you will be alright.

    With hugs Shelley anne

  3. Ellie05
    Ellie05 avatar
    178 posts
    30 November 2015 in reply to Sarah8

    Hi Sarah8,

    I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. It must be very difficult planning a wedding knowing he won't be there to walk you down the aisle. 

    It's very easy to lash out at loved ones when we're at our lowest. Perhaps a nice gesture (such as a small gift or home cooked meal) as a means of apology will help to resolve your guilt regarding your finance? There's always ups and downs in relationships and I'm sure he understands how hard things are for you right now.

  4. Neil_1
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    Neil_1 avatar
    4232 posts
    1 December 2015

    Dear Sarah

     

    I’m very sorry to hear of the recent loss of your Dad.  Even that by itself is one hell of a situation to deal with, to cope with and to try as hard as you can to continue on.  But on top of this, you’ve got a wedding to prepare and your suffering from depression.  The pile just gets bigger and bigger for you.

     

    You’ve received some wonderful responses and I hope that you’re able to draw some positive vibes and suggestions from those.

     

    I would be definitely sitting down with your fiancé and be letting him know just how much he means to you and that you are struggling with the loss of your Dad.

     

    Do you have other helpers with regard to the preparations for your wedding?

     

    Also, are there any people who you could call upon for when you’re feeling down and someone to lend an ear for you;  or a shoulder to lean on?

     

    Please take care and would very much love to hear back from you.

     

    Neil

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