Hello Quirkywords, ❤️❤️❤️❤️ & virtual hugs.
I still remember 1974 floods, when we lost pretty much every material thing, It comes up in my mind, every late January, most especially when the weather is wet & rainy for days around that time. I live in a location where the risk is very minimal, yet still feel my anxiety rise, & memories rise, indeed, like debris floating up from the depths.
Not just what I personally lost, but the loss so evidently felt by my parents. The house & contents, & my father's business were not literally building materials, furnishings, clothing, oh, everything, not just material things. These things represented a new life they had recently established, a home a new start, & their grief was obvious.
& I lost hold of a cat, & so she was lost. When I think about the floods, I inevitably think of her. I know I still feel guilty. I know I still have not come to terms with losing her.
& how I feel about my personal anniversaries seems related to how raw or healed my feelings are. If my feelings are painful & more than a little sad & I am distraught, I think there are still feelings I have not looked at, have not examined, & perhaps I still have some work to do. This does not mean I'm trying to feel nothing. I don't want to be overwhelmed & feel I cannot function when anniversaries come around. I'm happy to feel what I feel, & not fight with my feelings anymore.
I don't know actual dates for some, so these become days, weeks or months, even seasons when I notice my ongoing grief or sadness.
I used to always remember people's Birthdays, but I'm losing track some. Yesterday, I was waiting to phone my sis around sunset, thinking she'd be home, to wish her a Happy Birthday, but I became too tired, went to sleep, woke & didn't remember my plan, until too late. I'm not happy about that.
If we know Birthdays I think we could more easily focus on honouring the lives of those we loved & cared for.
I think commemorating the day of a death focuses the mind & heart on the loss far more.
This is a much wider topic, because there are many losses & sometimes there are, sometimes not, anniversaries for these as well.
Quirkywords, perhaps today, celebrate where you are now.