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Forums / Grief and loss / Feeling devestated after the loss of my young cat

Topic: Feeling devestated after the loss of my young cat

13 posts, 0 answered
  1. Frantic1
    Frantic1 avatar
    37 posts
    3 December 2018
    My beautiful 2 year old cat was attacked by the neighbours dog 2 weeks ago and despite surgery and 2 days of extraordinary treatment she died. I am totally devastated. I got her and another cat from the RSPCA and they were my babies. I tried to keep them inside but she insisted on going outside and would often dash out the door when anyone opened it so I made them indoor/outdoor cats and they were perfectly happy. They would run along the top of the fence and I can only guess that the dog barked at her and scared her and she lost her footing and fell off the fence into their yard. I have so much guilt and "if only" thoughts that run through my head. My other cat is grieving the loss of his companion and I have not been able to let him outside since as I am afraid the same thing will happen to him. I am getting a cat enclosure built in my yard so that he can have some outside time, not ideal but better than nothing. The initial grief and shock has passed but I feel it come over me in waves at unexpected times and it takes my breath away. The image of her after she was attacked is forever lodged in my head and upsets me enormously. I am finding it hard coming up to Christmas. I don't want to do anything and take no joy in any activity. I feel like I am just moving through the motions of living without actually living.
    1 person found this helpful
  2. Ruby 2
    Ruby  2   avatar
    81 posts
    3 December 2018 in reply to Frantic1

    Hey Frantic 1

    I am so sorry for the circumstances that caused your loss.

    Take comfort in the fact you did your best for her .

    Once you have your outdoor cat enclosure sorted, have you thought about getting a new companion for your surviving cat?

    It may be a way to move on,knowing you are trying to help him adjust. Cats are wonderful creatures who I believe can adjust and help us to do the same.

    I have had many over the years and have found as long as they have plenty of activities they adjust well to a life indoors.

    Did you know that a desexed indoor cat lives a lot longer than one allowed to roam?

    I am with you in your grief.My best ever cat Tigger( yes he was a ginger lol) died 20yrs ago and not a day goes by that I don't think of him.

    I wish you well If you just need to vent or talk about your loss,I am here.

    Ruby2xx

  3. Summer Rose
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    Summer Rose avatar
    1617 posts
    3 December 2018 in reply to Ruby 2

    Hi Frantic1

    I'm so sorry for your tragic loss. It's going to be a tough Christmas no doubt. I know it hurts but if it would help, please tell us more about your cat. It might help you feel better to celebrate her life.

    Take comfort in your memories. You sound like an amazing, responsible cat lover and your cat was lucky to have you.

    Kind thoughts to you

  4. Lee lee 73
    blueVoices member
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    Lee lee 73 avatar
    503 posts
    3 December 2018 in reply to Summer Rose

    Hi Frantic1,

    I'm so so sorry for your loss. I have lost 2 cats to the outdoors. One by a dog attack. I was home and heard a cat and dog fighting but thought nothing of it until it was too late. I understand your guilt. It is natural but please don't blame yourself. Hold your other cat and grieve together. Please take good care. Hope to hear how you're going.

    Lee

  5. Frantic1
    Frantic1 avatar
    37 posts
    3 December 2018 in reply to Ruby 2
    Thankyou Ruby for your kind words. Yes I did know they live longer and I'm hoping that midnight will live a long and healthy life. I have thought about getting him a companion but it is just too son. Maybe sometime down the track. It is comforting to know that there are people on here I can talk to about this without feeling judged.
    1 person found this helpful
  6. Frantic1
    Frantic1 avatar
    37 posts
    3 December 2018 in reply to Summer Rose

    Hi summer rose. Thankyou for your kind words. My cats name was Marshmallow and she was a beautiful tortie and white cat with a gentle, sweet nature. She loved to go outside and play and would follow me around the garden while I watered and help me hang the washing out. I miss her so much. She and my other cat midnight used to chase each other around the garden and they were always together. I know he misses her as much as I do.

    Lee there have been so many cuddles with my other cat. In the early days he wouldn't come near me, now he comes close and cuddles. He still wants to go outdoors but I won't let him. I am hoping when the enclosure is done he will adjust.

  7. Lee lee 73
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    Lee lee 73 avatar
    503 posts
    3 December 2018 in reply to Frantic1

    Hello Frantic1,

    That is so beautiful midnight now cuddles you. I feel for both of you. I hope midnight will like the enclosure. You're doing the thing and you can only try. My thoughts are with you.

    Lee

  8. blondguy
    Life Member
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    blondguy avatar
    11265 posts
    3 December 2018 in reply to Frantic1

    Dear Frantic1

    My sincere condolences for the loss of your beautiful kitty, Marshmallow

    I have been a dedicated animal rescue person for years who feels your pain

    My thoughts go out to you in this difficult time. Only if you want to, you are more than welcome to insert Marshmallow's pic in your profile box

    My very kindest wishes for you Frantic1 always

    Paul

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Frantic1
    Frantic1 avatar
    37 posts
    3 December 2018 in reply to blondguy
    Thankyou blond guy. I love my animals so much, they and my children are my life. A lovely thought to put marshmallow as my profile picture. Not a very good shot of her but the best I have at the moment. It has taken me over a week to be even able to look at a photo of her. I am going to put together an album of all her photos as a momento.
    1 person found this helpful
  10. Summer Rose
    Valued Contributor
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    Summer Rose avatar
    1617 posts
    3 December 2018 in reply to Frantic1

    Hi Frantic1

    Sounds as though Marshmallow was the perfect name for your beautiful cat. She was obviously a good friend to you and a loving companion. Memories to cherish.

    You and Midnight keep cuddling, you will be stronger together.

    Hang in there

  11. Frantic1
    Frantic1 avatar
    37 posts
    4 December 2018 in reply to Summer Rose
    It really was the perfect name for her and matched her personality perfectly. I miss her so much, I just feel empty.
  12. PamelaR
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    PamelaR avatar
    2740 posts
    4 December 2018 in reply to Frantic1

    Hello Frantic and warm welcome

    So sorry for the loss of Marshmellow. Losing a pet is so hard. She looks beautiful - I'm assuming your avatar is Marshmellow. Gorgeous.

    Grief takes time. It has some phases you'll go through, however there isn't any set routine or timeframe for these. Be kind to yourself and try to let go of the guilt you feel. As time goes on, and you start to recover, think about getting Midnight another companion. (Once your cat proofing is finalised perhaps??)

    Kind thoughts to you and Midnight.

    PamelaR

  13. Frantic1
    Frantic1 avatar
    37 posts
    5 December 2018 in reply to PamelaR
    Thanks Pamela. feeling quite emotional today and really missing marshmallow. Midnight got up at 3am this morning and was wandering around the house meowing. I think he was looking for marshmallow. He came back to bed with me and was extra cuddly. He has taken to going under our bed which is where marshmallow used to sleep. It breaks my heart trying to help him and seeing him grieve.

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