Thank you for your post and for sharing what's going on with you.
I'm really sorry to hear about what's happening and to hear about the loss of your mum.
While I haven't lost my mum, I have lost other people close to me, and just from my own experience nothing can really take the pain away. Even if I had lost my mum I still wouldn't really understand the pain that you're in. More than anything I'd love to take it away.
What I do know though from my own loss is that I can't take it away (no kidding), because if I were to take away all of the pain, I take away the good things too. All those beautiful memories of them; the way that they made you feel, their laugh, what they looked like. Grief can be bittersweet in a way because that pain has a lot of wonderful memories inside it.
I wonder if it would be helpful to chat to someone about it? While it sounds like your husband and kids are so supportive I'm also hearing that it's so hard to live with - so having that place thats your own to brainstorm ways of coping can be really helpful. Sometimes people think that going to be therapy is about forcing yourself to move on and move away from it, but in reality it's just making room. You may find that there are things you can learn about your grief; how you can live on without your mum but still having her as such an important part of your life. Your mum will always be apart of you but hopefully it will get to a point where it won't hurt so much and you'll still be able to go about your day.