I have just read your post knowing what extreme sadness you are feeling right now . On the 15th of October I lost my youngest son to suicide . He was 24 . I have two older sons 26 and 29 and you could be the voice of either of them asking the same questions .
I have discovered as a parent the feelings we feel are slightly different but very much the same as how the siblings feel . The questions that roll around in our head , the memories and moments that we all dissect and try to put back together .
I have found we are all together in our pain but also seperate in our pain . There will be times when we need to talk and times when we need to be silent and within a family , these may not be at the same time.
I feel for you all , and it’s something that we like you would never have imagined having to face . You need to be kind to yourself first and foremost , and give your parents hugs anytime you can , they’re good for the soul .
Everything has become harder to do right now , as emotional energy being used equals exhaustion . If you see mum or dad struggling with cooking or cleaning or going to work if they are like me it’s like I’ve forgotten how to do some things .
I wish to send you and your family peace for the coming months and I hope this helps knowing there are others in exactly the same situation . Take care xx