I am so glad that you have found support here and it really is a great place to hear about other people's experiences as well as share your own feelings, without judgement or criticism.
I am sorry Sands has not been the right fit for you but I am happy to hear that you have support in the form of a therapist and your GP too, this is really great to hear also.
You will have a place in your heart always for your dear little baby and that is totally fine. You never have to "get over it" and you most probably wont, and that is fine. What we do have to do is learn to make grief our friend and to learn to live productively with it. I too suffer from grief and I am just 10 months down the track so it is all very much an adjustment for me, however I am in a much better place from being here on the forum, sharing and also learning that I was not at fault and I am not to blame.
I know you feel guilt and your feel responsible for the outcome but can I ask you a question? Would you blame yourself if you developed arthritis, would you blame yourself if you had chronic migraines? I know that they are very different to the loss of a child but what I am getting at is the body is a very complex machine and one in which we sometimes have no control over the outcome, you can eat well and exercise at do your best at keeping the machine in it's best condition, however, the machine will wear and tear and has complex parts that do their own thing. We have no control over these things Danielle and while it does not take away the pain, the loss of your baby was certainly not your fault.
So maybe you make a little garden or have a special candle you light or a crystal that hangs in the window, to honor the baby you lost. You can take a moment to say hello each day and to recognise but you then allow yourself peace and happiness and the chance to heal and to release yourself from the guilt.
Having a baby is a wonderful experience, it is also hell for some people however, whatever the future holds it holds and if that is with a baby to hold in your arms it will be beautiful.
It is really great to chat some more to you and I hope you find something wonderful to acknowledge your baby and I look forward to hearing about that.