I am so sorry to hear about your father and that you couldn't be there with him. That is so hard. I lost my mother when I was young and she died in the hospital while my father and I were trying to get there in time but she died before we made it there... I've always been so upset there was nobody with her at the time, so I have some sense of what you must be going through. It's so hard to lose your Mum or Dad... and I know there is nothing I can say to make it any easier for you... it does ease with time but for now you have to allow yourself to grieve and feel dreadful... and cry or whatever you need to do to get the feelings out - but it will take a long time until you pull out.
Do you have other family members with you to give mutual support, or else good friends who will understand?
Truly I am so sorry that you lost your beloved father to this dreadful virus. Can I send a big virtual hug?
Do come by if you would like to talk more - I am in and out today but people here will offer support. Kindest wishes to you..