dear Laura Jane, hello and welcome to this site, where your comment has again been such a shock as I have just replied to KD about the devastation that has happened, so please take the time to read this post, but with regards to what you have said is another awful devastating incident.
I can only give you my most sincere condolences, which is never going to change your situation at the moment, but I sincerely mean it.
For any family to lose a member to suicide can never be explained, because we ask questions 'why', because he seemed to be happy, loved everybody as they did for him, but unfortunately deep down he must have been struggling and didn't want to explain it to his family and perhaps his friends, because we could never understand 'why'.
Sometimes this can be the catalyst for the family to become much closer, but there are times when it could ruin the relationships between all members, as each and every one of them have their own way to deal with this terrible event, and could become a reason for any of you to become depressed, as it's such the beginning for each of you to unfortunately suffer.
Again my sincere regrets that this has happened, but please can you get back to us, as you are going to need support from people who have experienced this themselves, so we understand everything you are saying.
Please I would also like you very much to go and see your doctor as well, because your deepened emotion needs help and support, I would also offer this advice to the rest of your family, but I can't do this because only you have been able to contact us. L Geoff. x