It is really hard when others don't seem to understand, I kind of think them fortunate that they don't, it means that they have not have to suffer this pain in life..yet. But talking about it is essential and even though you may feel like you are bringing others down, you are not. Just as you would sit with your loved ones in their time, to listen and to hug them or to just sit in silence, they are happy to do that for you too...it is just hard to take the support sometimes that we need.
A mother's love is like no other and I think the loss of a mother when you are close is also unlike any other. I am so happy you were able to have a funeral for her, to let those that loved her come together and to celebrate her and her life, I am grateful that some of us still can do that.
I want to remind you that it is ok not be ok, to fall in a heap and to cry, to feel the sadness of your mum's passing and to let it out, also then to get up and to dust yourself off and forge forward. I hope that your work is understanding, maybe some time off might help, even one extra day a week just so you can take things slowly and to be kind to you.
I painted a picture of a Llama, my mum loved them, I had her in mind the whole time I was painting and it brought tears and smiles and it just felt like a nice thing while I was doing that..mind you I am no artist but it was just a nice thing I have found in these times. I am wondering maybe if you could start something to connect with your feelings when you are feeling like it is all too much, like planting a flower for your mum that you can water and care for and enjoy and talk to, or even cooking her favorite recipe or something like that..it sounds daggy but it really has helped me.
I am also the executor of her Will so that has been tough to process all her life and to close accounts and the like too...it is a final feeling to it all...that upsets me too.
We can do this and we will do this mjwa1984..for our beautiful mums!