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Forums / Grief and loss / Lost everything that meant something to me

Topic: Lost everything that meant something to me

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Charlotte Y
    Charlotte Y avatar
    1 posts
    5 February 2022
    Hello. I’m new to these forums. I’m 37 years old and have recently started living on my own again post separation. I’ve moved into a property which I don’t. I miss my previous home which I loved so much. Shortly after moving in, my cat was diagnosed with Cancer and was palliative for two months before I had to put her to sleep. The experience of seeing her deteriorate and then saying goodbye to her was very painful and I miss her every day. Furthermore, I’m having issues with my new neighbour who is anti social and disrupts my sleep every night due to undue noise. He has also vandalised my property but I’m too afraid to complain as I feel it will make the situation worse. When I’m there I feel overwhelmed with grief and almost paralysed. I quit my job due to burnout and am struggling with the loss of this, as I defined myself and my self worth through it. I don’t know how to ‘begin again’. I have never felt so lost and alone.
  2. geoff
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    geoff avatar
    16457 posts
    6 February 2022 in reply to Charlotte Y

    Hello Charlotte, and a warm welcome to the forums.

    I am deeply sorry for the loss of your beloved cat and having to watch them suffer is something you don't deserve, it's too tormenting and have been through this experience myself.

    With your neighbour who has damaged your property and unfortunately, keeps you awake, you are entitled to take out an AVO against him because of the damage and the noise and are you able to set up some cameras that take photos of people entering your home, they aren't too expensive but a good asset to have.

    I'm sure there would be other neighbours who also dislike the loud music.

    Take care.


    1 person found this helpful
  3. Quercus
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    Quercus avatar
    3557 posts
    6 February 2022 in reply to Charlotte Y

    Hi Charlotte and welcome,

    Like Geoff I'm sad to hear you've lost your fur baby. It must be very difficult to not only leave your old home but to now be alone.

    Your neighbour sounds like a total jerk. You mentioned being afraid to seek help in case it makes it worse for you and I can see why you'd feel like that. I would probably feel the same way.

    But Geoff is right, if your neighbour is coming onto your property, causing damage and making you afraid this is serious. If/when you go to the police do you think it will help to explain your fears about this? Also do you have other neighbours? Could it be an option to ask them for help even if that means exchanging numbers so you can phone someone close by if you need urgent help?

    I know when you've lost a fur baby it can feel wrong to get another but is getting a dog a potential option for you? We've had problems with someone walking out firebreak and scoping out the property but having a guard dog has really helped. One, it seems to keep people away and two, I feel safe knowing he will alert me if someone is outside. It's just a thought though.

    Hope your situation changes soon!


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