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Forums / Grief and loss / struggling

Topic: struggling

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Emma 1
    Emma 1 avatar
    1 posts
    26 January 2016
    Hi Im new to this for the first time in over 20 years I feel totally alone my husband died and left me with 2 great kids but lately I find it hard to cope I miss my friends and have no one to talk to can anyone help me?
  2. blondguy
    Life Member
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    blondguy avatar
    11264 posts
    26 January 2016 in reply to Emma 1

    Hi Emma, I am sorry about your husband and you not coping...it would be awful.....do you have a friend or anyone close that you can lean on in this difficult time?

    Paul

  3. geoff
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    15552 posts
    26 January 2016 in reply to Emma 1
    dear Emma, hello and I'm sincerely so sorry for the loss of your husband as it has left an enormous hole in your heart,
    even though you have two great kids, it's still unable to fill that void you are trying to heal.
    As one problem ocurrs it only ricochets off and starts another one, so they all mount up causing great concern for
    yourself, which then pulls you down to feeling like you are now.
    Please I do hope that you can get back to us. Geoff. x
  4. Neil_1
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    Neil_1 avatar
    4232 posts
    28 January 2016

    Dear Emma

     

    Please accept my deepest sympathies for the loss of your husband.

     

    With regard to the grieving process, I’ve had to go through it a number of times and for me, it takes a long long while before it subsides to a more manageable level – but we are all different.  And during that time, yes, we can shy away from people, and friends are usually first on that list.  It’s not that we are wanting to be mean or cold to them at all – but we just can’t get to grips with being the ‘way we were’ before the death, so did I guess that correctly as to why you’re missing your friends?

     

    May I also ask if the loss of your husband was recent?  I only ask that because you mentioned that for the first time in over 20 years, that you are really feeling very alone since the loss of your husband?

     

    I too would love to hear back from you, if you feel ok to do so.

     

    Kind regards

     

    Neil

  5. Kizzels
    Kizzels avatar
    7 posts
    19 May 2016 in reply to Emma 1

    Hi Emma,

    Firstly my condolences on the loss of your husband.

    I am only new to this forum and have just read your post. I have not lost my partner but in the past two years I have lost 2 parents and a son, so I understand focusing on others to make sure that are okay - especially your children and losing track of what is happening around you.

    Unfortunatly no-one knows what you are going through unless they have gone through such a great loss themselves and they don't understand why you have not recovered as fast as they think you should.

    You never recover from losing someone you love so much and you will always love and miss them and this is okay. Your friends may never know what you are going through and be greatful for them that they don't, you wouldn't want a friend to go through what you have been through, even if you wish they could understand a bit more than they do. The best you can do at the moment, if you haven't already, is try to get a foothold in life. This could be finding a support group with people that are going through the same thing as you, making time at least once a week for an hour or two and catch up with a friend or find a hobby or sport that you have to go out to be part of. This may not be an easy thing to do but kids always learn and draw strength from their mum, no matter what age. Show them how to continue without their dad. You have made it this far, so it seems to me like you have the strength to take the next step, just take a deep breath and remember it's not about moving on, just continuing to live.

    Kizzels xxx

  6. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    11264 posts
    19 May 2016 in reply to Emma 1

    Hello Emma

    Just seeing how you are going....I hope that you have found some peace

    Paul x

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