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Forums / Grief and loss / Today we said goodbye

Topic: Today we said goodbye

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Soberlicious96
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Soberlicious96 avatar
    43 posts
    14 March 2019

    So today we; my friends and I, said goodbye to our friend, via a memorial service. He had killed himself in August 2017, but wasn't found until a week before Christmas just gone.

    His body still has not been released, hence why no official funeral. And not all his family was there either, due to fighting within the family.

    It was a lovely service ...... But how does one ever make sense of this type of death?

    I feel a mixture of relief that he's no longer struggling, and a deep unrelenting sadness at his departure. It's an all too painful reminder of just how difficult sobriety can be.

    Alcoholism: the subtle poison destroying people, one drink at a time.

    Anyway, it's late now so I will sleep. Tomorrow is another day, and I am bridesmaid in a wedding on Saturday. Thanks for reading. Take care out there. And please remember; no problem lasts forever if you take a moment to reach out and share it with someone else. Please please, PLEASE reach out. Don't go it alone. I'm not. I got you lot!

    Nigh nigh. See you next time. Xox

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    6045 posts
    15 March 2019 in reply to Soberlicious96


    Thankyou for sharing that sad day in your life.

    How I tend to deal with grief is a number of things. First I attend funeral services but never cemeteries, Focus on an element of the deceased persons life and celebrate that, I don't ask myself why (had my brother and uncle suicide) as that complicates things and causes me trauma and I focus on comforting others as that comfort is usually returned.


    to my dad (dec 1992)

    There were some things I knew as taboo
    to express my love but to question who?
    to touch the pale face of my dad back then
    when touching taboo...when "men were men"

    For boys were male and "you cant do that"
    jealous of my sister and that is that
    that man couldnt hug his son for how he was seen
    nowadays if you hugged your son- well, you'd be relieved.

    And so my dad the salt of the land
    wouldnt touch me even by hand
    he knew he loved me and I him
    with a wink of an eye from under his brim

    Then that day we all regret came along
    where watery eyes was met by song
    and there he lie with an eerie smile
    I be alone with him for just a while.

    As I stroked his forehead cool to touch
    I raised my head automatically as such
    to kiss his temple of which I dare
    I knew his mind was well aware.

    Of all the kisses I missed
    they gathered together in just one kiss
    finally as his spirit rose and went
    he left his love and hugs were spent

    I never craved again heart be blessed
    that tradition of males their love expressed
    a kiss on his forehead way back then
    ended an era when "men were men"...


    So, poetry is a big part of my grieving.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Soberlicious96
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Soberlicious96 avatar
    43 posts
    15 March 2019 in reply to white knight
    Wow, thanks for sharing that amazing, beautiful and raw poem. Love it. Xo

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