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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Alone..Depressed..Sad..

Topic: Alone..Depressed..Sad..

  1. demonblaster
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    12 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand
    Hey our beautiful champ, my 👩‍❤️‍👩 Croixy 🐧 and everyone 👋

    Knock knock... huh ...you're all waiting for a knock knock joke aye 😃

    Ahh there you are sound asleep you dear darling. Just smoothing your hair...that's ok darlin stay asleep sweety. Tinsy neck massage.

    I know VC days are so very hard you poor love.
    This is pulling out rot that's festered and eaten at you a life time.
    Bit by bit you're being freed sweety.
    You don't talk much about it which maybe too hard, just know you have many friends here and a truckload of love 💜

    I'll just sit here quietly...oh..ok so quietly may not happen so howzabout we take Ebony and Kya the gorgeous loves outside for a while then I'll finish baking a yummo Poppy seed cake think you said ages back you love those.

    Thought I'd cook a Roast Lamb for us all tonight with your roast spuds yummo gravy from the meat juices honey carrotts beans burnt Pumpkin and sprinkled with love 🤗

    Grandy I don't talk all the time that's popular belief I do. Can't stand being told all the time it's a critism. People are intolerant of talkers but rare if ever do they say I listen too which is my point if you'd like to talk.

    We can give you space and watch TV quietly or play outside. Might do the lawns ..may not be too quiet.

    Just know dear friend you're never alone. We're always with you 🤝

    Darlin been wondering how poor Bettys going? Seriously please don't feel pressured to reply just when you're ready huns ☺

    Believe in yourself honey as much as we do and you really will make it. You're always a champion in my 👀

    Heaps of love Grandz 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝👀🍫😚
  2. Ggrand
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    12 February 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Croix...and everyone.....🤗

    It’s okay..even though I would love to contact her, I will wait and hope she feels the same...I’m a bit afraid that if I did contact her she might feel obligated to keep it touch....She would be so busy for the next few weeks..settling in..looking for a job....unpacking etc....She has a full and busy time ahead of her....and more clients to look after once she gets a job.....

    Getting on the treadmill for the stress test, wakes up my bursitis for a few weeks....Cardiologist know this and doesn’t tighten the belt too much...

    VS counselling goes deep some appointments...others not to bad....Learning about how even though I know I’m safe logically.....My nervous system doesn’t believe me and is stuck in trauma mode....which is fear...the fear I felt for decades....that’s what it’s used to....I have to learn how to make it believe my mind....sounds silly...well it did to me...still does..and I really don’t know how to do that....

    Counsellor told me it’s hard for me to take up my old hobbies or likes because they were always taken over by late husband (lh)..because my time was being put into them and not him....he was jealous of my hobbies taking me away from his wants and needs.....mostly I used to just end up sitting next to him watching him do my stuff....Which hurt me and made feel useless....So I need to look for things to do that are completely different..

    I told her...I wake up each day and feel lost, because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to fill my day in....and this started me questioning my existence....I need to find something productive to do with my time...at home, because traveling to the bigger town is too costly with petrol...

    I am doing okay...just lonely like so many people here...I am very grateful I have my 2 fur babies...and all you beautiful friends on BB.....Which gives me a purpose and reason so thank you everyone ....and that’s more then enough to keep trying and find my wellness...

    Deebi.....people shouldn’t criticise you for talking to much..I think that’s a wonderful thing to be able to do...My mind can talk a lot when I’m in a conversation at work with the girls..unfortunately it stays stuck in my mind.,,the words can’t find their way to my vocal chords....

    Heaps of a Deebi..bbff..💚🧸🤗🦋🕊🍀..

    My love and hugs to everyone 💜🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..



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  3. Hanna3
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    2327 posts
    12 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy,

    I'm sorry you are feeling lonely. I have been watching the tennis on TV as little Sam is settling down now thank goodness. Thank you for your kind words on my thread.

    I remember as a girl trying to make something and my father taking over and doing it for me, and feeling frustrated that he took over and didn't let me try to finish whatever it was I was doing - it sounds as if your husband did that sort of thing - it undermines you and makes you feel as if you're not good enough.

    Are there things you can do at home to make you feel more purposeful... can you sew things for shops to sell, or knot things? Cook for someone? I am not sure what things you enjoy doing.. is there any way you can find to do or make things that will help someone else - maybe an op shop could sell them to make money for charity.. I'm just thinking out loud... about what you could do.

    Do you enjoy the tennis? It's quite a game tonight - and all of Victoria in a lockdown again after this.

    Anyway i wanted to say hi and thank you for thinking of us while Sam was sick. We got the nice young ady vet that we like today, so we had a nice little chat.. but it was expensive!

    Looks like more stormy weather over the weekend - we had some rain here but it's muggy - it's been an unusual summer hasn't it? I need to buy some autumn/winter clothes - I wish we had good op shops like the ones in Big Town with an O... it's such a long drive there and back.. I used to buy everything in the big Salvos store there... and the Vinnies shop...

    Thinking of you dear Grandy and hoping you feel a bit less alone tonight hugs hugs.

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  4. Tess2
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    14 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy,

    i haven’t posted here for a hike, but I follow your posts. I really identify with you saying you wake each day feeling lost and wondering what to do to make me feel that life is meaningful.

    that is an awful feeling. I have not recovered from losing my career, now all there seems is housework and crap. That can’t be all. And I am not one to take up golf or anything like that.

    having had such a controlling husband is not easy to get over. Just take back one thing at a time for yourself, something you really want and do it in small chunks.

    You are a great inspiration to me, as you keep on going , and volunteer and support others. You are kind, and is the most important of all

    love. Tess

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  5. demonblaster
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    14 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi sweet Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone ☺

    You're a thoughtful considerate lady Mrs Grandy.
    So many beautiful qualities my/our dear friend.
    Truly a pleasure knowing and loving you 🤗

    Ahh what a nuisance to say the least, it's nasty pain isn't it it bursitis. Poor love.
    Go steady at work lovely won't you.
    Good cardiologist easing back on the belt. My late darling also had those amongst many other heart related tests ops etc. Hard yakka.

    Yes it must be very hard changing a natural protective response you poor love going through such terrible times.
    Keep at it beautiful. Geez I feel for you.
    You're smart you'll get there Grandz in your own time. Gently sweetyheart 💜

    In time hun you might feel differently about hobbies. I suggest try to remember the pleasure you had and reiterate often. Again tho at your own pace lovey.

    I deleted what I just wrote about that situation grr

    Does the excellent walking stick appeal darl. We were having some fun working out what to put on it and you had some practise drawing which was neat.

    Maybe drawing the gorgeous gum and cows...grass .. you could have Stars and Sun..hey it's your piccy you can go anywhere with it 😆

    Oh was wondering do you still have Julie on the couch. Maybe talking to her could be therapeutic too. I love you had her.

    You'll always have beautiful friends and love in your life Grandy we see the beautiful person you are. Awesome!


    Thanks it annoys and hurts. I say nicely to people why I don't like it. I couldn't say that to some one and they must say it cause it annoys them pfftt.

    Love and care so very deeply sss. Lysvm PubAok yAdimh with our unbreakable ribbon...can't find it.

    Sleep well darlin and everyone ☺

    Nigh nite honey 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🍫👀🤝🤗😚

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  6. Ggrand
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    15 February 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Hanna, Tess, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and everyone read🤗..

    Its nice to see you Tess...I hope your doing okay..

    Thank you for identifying what is a daily struggle for me...I’m sorry your struggling with the same...Waking up and just looking around walking from room to room no knowing what to do is horrible.....

    It’s hard after over 50 years being told daily what to do etc...The mind is stuck still in uncertainty, of doing anything without being told..or maybe it’s fear of doing things without being told as my counsellor told me last week... I suppose my mind still hasn’t progressed or grown into adulthood when life choices are to be made....

    I keep thinking the same..this can’t be all their is to life..I’m sure their is more..Its just finding it that’s hard...

    Oh I forgot about my walking stick..I put it away..I will get it back out..still needs some more sanding..☺️..I have this concrete cockatoo sitting on a log which has a hole at the end for a small plant..it stands about 12” high and about 10” long...which belonged to my dad...looks like my dad painted the cockatoo all white and the branch and pot a brown colour....I found some yellow nail polish and painted the cockatoo’s head feathers with it..then found a black and painted his beak and claws with it...Awe it looks good..now I have the branch and pit to do...not enough nail polish to do that part...yet...When I can I will finish it off..think I need to buy some paint for the rest...

    I moved Julie to the spare bedroom, and she sleeps on the bed in their...because my fur babies kept laying on her and put their hair over her...

    I’m okay....can’t shake this sadness I feel all the time...I think I need to move my body a bit.....I noticed when I mow the lawn just how unhealthy physically I am.....mostly just sitting around and playing Homescapes a lot...If you need lives etc..serious helpers are good when they have a vacancy...We came in 2nd in the tournament..yay..

    Big love bbff...I hope your managing your cycle okay..🌜🕊💚🧸🤗🌛.

    Love and hugs everyone 💜🤗....

    Grandy..


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  7. Paw Prints
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    15 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello Grandy,

    I really like how your VS counsellor explains things ...

    Learning about how even though I know I’m safe logically.....My nervous system doesn’t believe me and is stuck in trauma mode....which is fear...the fear I felt for decades....that’s what it’s used to....I have to learn how to make it believe my mind....sounds silly...well it did to me...still does..and I really don’t know how to do that....

    As you know I've not been able to mow because of my fear of being watched... what you wrote explains it perfectly... even down to feeling it sounds silly & that I should just be able to do this like everyone else can... I don't know how too yet either.

    When do you get your test results lass? I will be keeping my fingers crossed that they have improved for you.

    Lass you really do seem to have a natural artistic streak in you... I remember you repainted some cupboards... redesigned & painted your verandah... painting the cockatoo... these are all changes to the decorative aspect of your house... the way you excel at painting pictures with your words... even the way you look at nature around you seems to be with an artists eye... I wonder if you would enjoy (or have tried) the paint by numbers.. it might be a way to see if you enjoy painting pictures... or perhaps knowing your love of magical/mystical creatures... have you thought of making some decorative items for your garden... perhaps start simply with wire shaped as a butterfly with sparkly colourful beads strung on the wire... I'm sure there must be lots of ideas online...

    I wish I knew how to take away your feelings of sadness...

    here is the biggest most comforting hug I can give...

    Paws

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  8. Hanna3
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    16 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy (waves to Deebi, everyone)

    Paws has given some good suggestions about creative things to do around the house, and you sound as if you have a gift for doing that kind of thing!

    I hope you have gone in to the shop today and that all goes well for you there.

    Trauma is a real pain, I still can't read music because of the trauma I went through learning it as a kid/teenager, so my music teachers have to find ways to teach me without using much sheet music - it's embarrassing to have to admit the problem to them, but then they turn out so kind about it and are clever at finding ways around the problem for me, which I appreciate so much. So don't be too hard on yourself about the trauma, because it does our heads in.... and it's not our fault!

    I hope all your furs are happy there... and that you have a lovely day. hugs.

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  9. Ggrand
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    19 February 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws, Hanna and anyone reading....🤗..

    Sorry I haven’t been on BB for the past couple of days..zthank you so much for your kind and caring posts...

    My Cardiologist appointment was Wednesday not Thursday.....silly me....

    I have been trying to digest the fact that my heart isn’t pumping properly and a possible blockage somewhere in it.....I need to have a non invasive angiogram...on the 5th March....That’s a 4 hours test..needing to the radiation injection...is horrible because after I get it it’s sitting around the waiting room for 4 hours....Then my Cardiologist will ring me if I need a stent put in....This makes sense to me in a way because I haven’t been able to mow my lawn in one time....because of breathlessness and not managing the stairs at my councillors office the last few times....I am a little bit afraid of what could happen...trying not to dwell on it until the time comes....after all this could have been happening to me for a few months without me knowing..so I’m trying to live in the present...

    Yesterday, I made a small mint garden..I love the freshness of the scent..I have had a long window pot just outside my bedroom windows for a few years now....

    Mentally I’m struggling with all that’s going on around me...I miss my supporter so much..she used to stay with me if I needed to get out of the waiting room..she came with me and we would walk around the area...this new one left me outside on my own for over half an hour..and when I had the courage to go back inside..she didn’t even talk to me...she was on her computer which she brought with her...my anxiety made me scratch at my arms again which I haven’t done in a long time...They are okay just a little sore....Missing my other supporter so much...

    Please don’t worry bbff and the others here...What will happen...will happen....that’s life!...and we all have to join in with it...the best we can...no matter how hard it gets..

    Deep love bbff...(I so much wish you were here with me)...💚🧸🤗..

    Sending everyone my love and hugs..💜🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  10. demonblaster
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    19 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩

    Ohh darlin that's pretty scary stuff going on 😢. Difficult not thinking a lot on it isn't it.

    Darl these guys know what they're doing I was with dear late love for a lot of those procedures. It must be a worry though.
    Grandy pubAok need you 🤗

    Ohh darlin what a so and so leaving and ignoring you. Geez that makes me so mad!
    I'm so sorry you have so much going on now dear love.

    Good girl saying about dealing with it when it happens. Oh Grandz.
    Yes could have been going on for a while.
    You're thinking clearly good on you it's not easy in hard times.

    How lovely making a Mint garden. It does have such a fresh lovely smell doesn't it.
    Good idea Floss.

    I loved reading what your gorgeous furs got up to in your adorable pet thread 😂 ohhh what a mess.

    Really love you Grandy I too wish I was there with you sweetyheart.

    Always in my thoughts honey. You have so much going on.

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜💗🤝👀🍫⚘🤗😚

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  11. Shelll
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    6520 posts
    19 February 2021

    Hi Grandy, thankyou for your kindness on the vent and Let go thread. I am okay. Just felt the need to get out all the ugly emotions that I was experiencing is all. And I know the poem you mentioned.

    I received your gift of kindness. Much blessings to you Grandy

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  12. Hanna3
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    19 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy, I'm sorry to hear you have some health problems... I think a lot of us here on BB tend to overthink things.. I know I do - I'm trying to just deal with what is happening to me now with my health and not thinking too far ahead and worrying about things that might never happen... can you try to tell yourself to just cope with one thing at a time... don't let your thoughts race ahead too much. Easier to say than do I know!

    Can you explain to your new supporter about being left on your own so she won't do that again? I'm sure if you explain it to her... she will understand. I guess she just didn't think...

    Sending you warmest fluffy soft cuddles and hugs from little Sam oxoxoxoox

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  13. Paw Prints
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    19 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello Grandy,

    Lass here is a gentle comforting hug.

    I know it's scary news... but I'm so pleased they are investigating it properly for you... remember the angiogram may show that things can be managed with medication & that you don't need a stent... though it is one of the most common procedures that they do... I had a stent put in over 15 years ago... it made such a difference for me... (like you I have cardiomyopathy as well).

    Hmm... we need to think of some things you might be able to distract yourself with while you are in the waiting room...

    You are right to be disappointed with your supporter's behaviour... she is meant to be there to support you... I'm hoping that as she gets to know you she will pull her socks up & actually start being there for you.

    Huggily hugs

    Paws

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  14. Ggrand
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    19 February 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Shelly, Hanna, Paws and everyone...🤗..

    Thank you for your caring posts...they mean a lot to me..I mean that from my heart..

    Not about to give myself health anxiety now...I have always put my trust into my Dr....Cardiologist and specialists...They done the schooling not me...I know I added to my health problems by not moving my body most days..not eating properly...

    Paws Thank you for telling me you had the producer done..in a way it make me feel not so alone...I’m sorry you had to have it done....

    I hope she does change and be a little more supportive..I know everyone is different and I accept that..It’s that when I’m waiting in a waiting room...with so many people looking at each other and talking...my thoughts take over and the noise just echos in my head...and I want to run away from all the noise and people..it’s a really strong urge to fight...

    I think I might take my iPad with me on the 5th..it’s 4 hours all up and I’m not allowed to leave the waiting room because of the radiation injection....

    Today I done some more outside..picked so many chillies and gave a lot to Mrs. NSC..then she made us both a coffee...which was nice of her..I occasionally ask her over to mine, but she doesn’t like to visit other people’s places....that’s okay but I feel guilty sometimes drinking her coffee.....we talked about her chickens and our fur babies...

    Haha..Deebi.....My furs are so precious and do get up to mischief a lot....I love that about them...they are so cute..I wish you could meet them...every night just before dinner they have a rough n tumble playtime..I often take videos on my phone and look at when I’m feeling down...

    Deep love bbff...odsd...can’t come quick enough..💚🧸🤗🕊🍀..

    Much love and hugs to everyone...💜🤗...

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

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  15. Hanna3
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    19 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy (waves to all)

    I just stopped by and saw you here.. I 've been watching the tennis which was wonderful.. and before that I was doing music practice and playing with little Sam who is feeling neglected (tennis and music taking up my attention!!)

    Please don't blame yourself for the heart problems... things go wrong as we get a bit older... no matter what we do... I'm having problems too... it's all part of the joy of ageing!!! Oh dear, we wish it didn't happen... I'm sure you will be fine, they are so clever and knowledgeable about heart problems now...

    I get eaten alive by the mozzies here too, I have to be careful to get inside before dusk! They attack my ankles!

    Yes learning music by ear is a great way ... that is how my harp teacher always plays.. he just learns the tune off by heart and then puts in lovely hand movements and chords and makes it all sound wonderful - and every time he plays a tune it's slightly different. Yes 37 strings is a very small harp but tuning takes forever.. and one of the strings is going to break which makes me nervous... my friend said she will replace it for me soon... the harp is worth thousands so I am anxious not to damage anything.. she said she paid five thousand for her harp... ouch! I am trying to play The Skye Boat Song... so I have to practice and practice.. and do scales up and down the harp to get my finger dexterity back.... gosh!

    I was watching the tennis players tonight, they are so fit and athletic, it's wonderful to watch them even if you don't enjoy the game you have to admire their skill and stamina...

    I am glad you had a cuppa at your neighbour's house, that is nice. Did you go to the store this week? Or did you have health problems instead?

    It's going to be hot tomorrow and Sunday... I wish we had the aircon now... I will have to wait in for them on Monday.. they come around the middle of the day apparently. At least it will be electric heating for winter instead of the gas - I've always felt the gas heater here was unsafe..

    I can understand about how you feel in the waiting room too... and thank you about the bulk billing - they won't do it for a scan.

    There is young lady called Kristy-Lyn who teaches harp on Utube - she lives in Capetown in South Africa - she has pretty red hair and a sparkly personality.. my harp teacher uses her music to teach.. she makes it all look easy, when it's so hard and takes so much practice! You might enjoy listening/watching her play something! Hugs.

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  16. Ggrand
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    21 February 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, and everyone reading...🤗..

    I had a listen to Kristen-Lyn..you tube playing “Sunshine”..it is so beautiful the sound of the harp...kinda angelic...and so relaxing...Thank you for sharing her beautiful music...

    I think I’ll get my little peddling thing out and start using that again....I tried a walk on my own yesterday...only got to next doors gates and had to go back home....I can’t do it still...maybe one day...I’m okay now when I grocery shop on my own.....there’s never really any more then half a dozen people in the shop when I go...,

    After I shower in the evening I need to spray insect repellent on me..or the mozzies have a feast on me....My home isn’t no where near bug proof.....Did try those citronella candles once..I found it didn’t work very well..

    A huge branch fell of my gum tree this afternoon..onto the road..a couple from down the street moved it off the road onto the council strip...Hopefully someone will want it for fire wood and will take it away....poor tree..

    I hope everyone is doing okay....

    It’s still over 30 degrees and it’s 8pm...going to be a hot humid night...

    bbff..pubaok....Much love to you 💚with a 🐻 🤗 ..

    Love and hugs to everyone..💜🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  17. demonblaster
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    21 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi bbff Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone 👋

    Always so good to see you sweet lady. I've been thinking a lot of you which is normal but knowing you have a lot on atm extra stress isn't good is it dear friend 🤗 I hope you're doing as well as you can without feeling too stressed lovely one.

    Loved Mrs NSC asking you over for a coffee the other day. Grandz she may suffer from agoraphobia do you think not liking going to peoples places.

    Hey good on you being ok shopping now thats a really big step. Good on you lovey.

    That's ok in time you'll be able to walk further. I think the important thing is you had a go. Well done. Those pedals sound good.

    Oh no the branch falling. It sounds such a beautiful big tree. Can't remember if you have some photos Grandz.

    Nice going growing all the Chillis. Good of you taking some to Mrs NSC. You're a kind generous lady dear Grandy Floss.

    I'm glad you put your trust with the docs. Yip you don't need health anxiety on top of everything else aye so true. Good girl.

    Thank you for your beautiful post at mine. I'll be there tomoz I hope huns. So lovely. You are precious friend 😊

    Yukko such icky temps you have brr. We've had a nice break being a little cooler. Loven that in summer.

    Please Grandy love be ok dear darling besty. You mean the absolute world. Oh occasionally I get a life from a rl friend on Homescapes that and Garden are good but lives go quickly. No one talks.,Oh well. Liking the games tho.

    Love you always beautiful friend. You're amazing. Can't imagine life without you dear friend in it. Same with this beautiful Mr Deebi the gorgeous 😍

    Sleep well dear friend 😴 and everyone 🙂

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜💗👀🤝💤🐶🐕 gorgeouses 🤗

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  18. Hanna3
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    2327 posts
    22 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy (wave to Deebi!)

    Just popped by to say hello quickly - yes the aircon is on, lovely! Little Sam is fast asleep in the cool.. I am tired out, the men were here for a couple of hours and it's stressful having the workmen around the place although they were all very pleasant - they looked a bit started when they saw the harp in the lounge room, I guess they don't see that often in public housing! Little Sam was very excited and wanted to say hello to all of them and he had to have a pat from each one of course - my little furry guy loves to be the centre of attention!

    I am glad you can go grocery shopping by yourself now, that's a big help for you to be able to do that, you are making some big changes and good for you! Are you still going to the store to volunteer - how is that going? Are you still enjoying the company? I haven't heard you mention it lately... wondering if it's going OK? I know you have health worries too... hope you are still volunteering anyway..

    That Kristy-Lyn is a pretty, bubbly little thing... my music teacher enjoys her videos! I must look at a couple tonight for practice as I have a music lesson tomorrow...

    Deebi I hope things are going OK for you there! You are always here checking on Grandy, you are terrific!\

    Grandy, sending fluffy soft cuddles from a rather over tired little Sam oxoxoxo

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  19. demonblaster
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    23 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hey gorgeous bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 Hannah and everyone 👋

    Just popping in to put the kettle on I know its late but you're on my mind a lot more than usual that's a lot too.

    How ya goin sweet pea. I hope dearly that things aren't getting you down honeyheart.

    I wonder if you could ask if new ww can take you for slow walks. So far she's not seeming to be shaping up to much but I guess room for improvement.

    These people are paid for doing a service for people doing it hard! Ok vent over..yeah right 😅..as if but I'll cool it for a second

    Sweety I baked a lovely cinammon cake just in the last 3 seconds I thought you'd like. There we go there's your nice cuppa sleepy tea cake furs and me to make sure you have a deep restful sleep waking feeling a softness in your soul and a feeling of peace.

    You'll never be alone sweety friend. You're so loved respected and cared about.

    Thank you for a beautiful eternal friendship dear friend.

    Much love to you and deep care. Thoughts 🗯 always. 😚🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🐶💤⚘

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  20. demonblaster
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    25 February 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    💜 love

    🗯 thoughts

    🤝 never letting go

    🤗 hugs with warmth and comfort

    🦄 magic

    😂 laughter

    👀 always looking out for you

    👩‍❤️‍👩 beautiful best friend forever

    PAubok please always you be ok

    Eternal love friendship and care sweetyheart.

    You'll get through sweety we're with you lovely one

    SSS spirit soul sister

    ☄ unbreakable link (can't find the other one )

    🐉 Deendy

    😚🤗

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  21. Ggrand
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    26 February 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Hanna and everyone reading.🤗..

    Thank you so much for your caring posts..
    I still go to my volunteer job...It’s going okay...the boss pops in sometimes on a Tuesday...never comes out back to say good morning/afternoon or whatever...It’s disrespectful, but I’m over all that and really don’t care...

    New supporter msged yesterday to say she was tied up and couldn’t come out yesterday afternoon for a visit..I am pleased that she let me know...

    Thank you for the Cinnamon cake..sleepy tea..and your company...in my imagination it is nice...Your list are lovely memories we’ve had together...Your one very precious friend to me....Love goes sisterly deep into my soul..💚🦋🤗🕊🍀🌹....Needing a hug bbff? ...I do so here’s a big friendly bear hug.....it takes 2 to hug...🐻🤗..so I get one as well😁..

    Sorry I’m not so chatty lately...been down for a week or so....have to ride it out I guess...until it dissolves...Which it always does...

    Keep safe everyone be gentle on yourselves..I hope today was good for you all...

    Love, hugs and my care everyone..💜🤗🦋..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..



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  22. Hanna3
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    26 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy and Deebi too of course..

    Sorry to hear you've been feeling flat lately - is it because of the heart problem maybe? I'm glad you're still enjoying the shop and yes don't worry about that man... main thing is you get pleasant company for a while there. I've been good lately - it's nice to have the aircon there if I need it and reverse cycle ready for the colder months... bought some snug winter pyjamas today... so nice I got another pair... just Best and Less so cheap..

    It's almost autumn... Sam was going to be clipped in big town starting with O next week but his fur hasn't grown enough so I put it back for another fortnight... that town will be looking pretty soon when the autumn colours set in...

    You be gentle with yourself Grandy dear lady. Hugs.

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  23. demonblaster
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    27 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hey dear bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 Hannah & all other good people 👋

    Dear Grandy you're going through tough times again honey...here's another soul hug beautiful and yes two are needed for a decent hug 😚

    Ahh darl it's so hard isn't it. The feelings get dark. It seems like it'll stay like this but as you know it'll ease off. Rotten going through it tho.

    Hun it can be a help knowing specifically what's pulling us down.
    I can guess a couple of things and really do get it dear love 💗

    What I'm thinking is can you gently guide yourself into the thoughts and think further on them.

    I remember in mindspot they said ask ourselves if thoughts are likely to happen. Think it was more to do with anxiety but self talking through them is helpful and sometimes creates other thoughts to balance it all out as opposed to listening and feeling only the first thought.

    Beautiful I was thinking a good look at our beautiful gum tree across the road could be a nice tonic for a change of thought and scenery. If you're not up to the veranda how bout a look into your memory how it looks and makes you feel. It's a good touch of meditation too I feel. Even a few seconds is less pain to have to endure.

    And the lovely cows just cruisin eating and sleeping.
    Remember how it felt when you saw them and the trees around them, hearing the birdies happily chirping and the wind gently rustling through the leaves. Can you feel that cool crisp feeling on your face when it's cool. That feeling of being alive and invigorated.

    Please give our beautiful furs a big cuddle. Destiny and Eternity send them too.

    Mr Deebi 😍 the furs 🦊🐺 and I thought we might vroom 🏍💨 along to stay a few days at yours hun how does that sound our darling sweetygirl ☺

    Oh Grandy some awesome news...Mil doesn't have cancer...It's a nodule apparently...YAY! They did a tele call. The precious love what a great relief.

    Please be kind and gentle to yourself sweet lady like you do with us.
    You have a great deal of support carecand love dear friend.

    Love you very much dear Grandy SSS 🤗😚
    PubAok lysvm yAdimh and 🗯

    Hold on tight sweetyheart 🤝 we gotcha

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜🏍💨🤝😍🐉👀

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  24. Paw Prints
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    28 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello Grandy,

    How are you lass?

    I was so proud of you trying to go for a walk by yourself... just crossing the boundary of your property into the "outside" world is something you should be so pleased with yourself for managing.

    Pedal machines... ummm oh yes I have one of those (she says hanging her head)... you have reminded me that I really need to pull it out & start using it.

    I'm pleased for you that your supporter let you know she couldn't call in... a bit growly about her not coming though.

    I hope you are feeling up to sitting on your verandah & drinking in all the magic that nature has for us... I've been enjoying watching a bright blue fairy wren & his brown mate using my birdbath... I love how they take it in turns splashing about whilst the other keeps watch..

    A gentle hug for you & belly rubs for your furs

    Paws

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  25. quirkywords
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    28 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Grandy

    I bet between us we could write a books out the politics of volunteering at an op shop,!

    I say hello to everyone and at times I am not answered and some people are bossy but on the whole most are friendly and kind. I hope y ou have friendly caring people there.

    You are always kind and understanding here and write posts with such empathy.

    I hope you are practicing self care.

    quirky

    2 people found this helpful
  26. Ggrand
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    28 February 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws, Quirky...and all...

    No..it’s not my heart that took me down...it is what it is..and I can’t change it...Since returning to the shop..I have stayed out back..because he said the day I left that my job is out back..I do not belong in the shop....That suits me fine..never liked being out front..

    Paws..since I wrote the post with the pedal machine in it...I took it out and looked at it...that’s as far as I’ve gotten..(doing exercises in my head is much easier on my physical body)..😂...

    Deebi...It is hard....you’re right it does pass..and it will pass....Something I read took me back to a place I don’t want to be....I did sit outside today..after I dismantled and disinfected my entire laundry to find a poor little mouse...that was not smelling the best...It kept me busy for a few hours...

    I yawned 2 nights ago..and my jaw and ear hurt so much..my jaw went out I think...I couldn’t close my mouth properly and had to massage it until it went in..l.No use calling an ambulance..their are no Drs at our local hospital..and it’s over an hour to the next nearest hospital...anyway it seems okay..but so so sore..and achey...sorry for the whinge..my fur babies I’m sure are sick of me these last few days....

    Hi Quirky...It’s lovely to see you here....I am sure if we did write a book, it would be a best seller...So many different characters we come across while working their...We are now to complete a “Code of Conduct” small course and test...I hope my boss has to take it as well..he might learn to treat everyone with respect...Quirky mostly I stay out back..sorting out the donations...Their is only myself and one other out back..It’s nice and quiet..

    Good night everyone..I hope you all sleep peacefully..

    Lots of love Deebi..💚🧸🤗.with squishy bear hugs..

    Sending my love, care and hugs to everyone...💜🦋🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  27. Hanna3
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    2327 posts
    1 March 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy,

    I think we all have these blah days... I often think it's something to do with living alone and also with getting a bit older - I think we have days when we are a bit melancholy.... I hope you feel better soon, I'm sure the poor mouse didn't help things... you're very soft hearted which is a good thing to be!

    I am glad you're still at the shop and out back would be nicer I think - away from customer service. It's good you have that one day a week to get out and chat with people.

    It's a bit blah here today too, I think the med I am on makes me feel a bit sickish so I don't feel like doing much after the morning walk - I have a music lesson tomorrow so I have been doing some practice.. and I have the air con going as it's quite hot now.

    I put little Sam's groomer off for another fortnight as he hasn't got fluffy enough to need it this week, it's a long drive to town with O and I'd rather do it in a couple of weeks when I might have enough money to buy something warm in the shops there for winter clothing!

    I think it's officially Autumn today but it doesn't feel like it! The trees here are starting to turn though, already.

    Sending you soft snuggly cuddles from little Sam oxoxoxo

    1 person found this helpful
  28. demonblaster
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    1 March 2021 in reply to Ggrand
    Hiya sweetyheart 👩‍❤️‍👩 dear Quirky hi darlz ☺ and to everyone 👋

    Hey gorgeous friend 🤗 that was a super good bear hug sending strength warmth and security dear lady.

    I remember you not being comfy out the front but don't forget lovely one you had some amazing breakthroughs too like when you were making conversation with a few people.
    Trooper in my eyes honey.

    Darl I hope I did calender your heart test but could you plz tell me when in case I didn't. Ta 🙂
    Glad you're coping ok with that lovey. It's big but I too hold a lot of faith in their knowledge and capabilities.

    😂 exercise IS a lot easier in the mind. You're a classic girl. Always a great sense of humor.

    Ahh something took you down darlin 🤗 Hope you're getting better sweetylove. Must have been heavy going poor love. You ok?

    Oh Grandy the yawning sounds terrible geez you poor darling.
    No never be sorry saying how you're going.
    Oh poor pet I hope you have some good pain relief.
    How awful to go through that.

    Always Grandy you're in my thoughts dear SSS really love you gorgeous friend.
    Please ubok always.
    Need you Grandy always.
    Did you see that star 🎇I was looking at wondering if you could see it?

    Beautiful darling Mr Deebi 😍 said Hello Grandy and doesn't know what else to say. Ohhh he's so beautiful Grandy and such a cute too.
    So easy to love the precious.

    Sleep well my darlin. Geez I hope your jaws settling you poor love 🤗😚

    Nigh nite darlinheart 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝💤💚
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  29. demonblaster
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    2 March 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey sweetyheart my calendar says Thursday for your heart procedure.

    Hope today has some goods in it for you and that you're feeling a bit brighter dear friend.

    If I don't see you before Thursday dear lovely lady wishing you the very best honeyheart.

    A friend staying a couple of nights from tonight but should see you before 🤗

    Heaps of love Grandy warmth and ultimate friendship. You da bomb gorgeous one 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🗯🤝🌞🦄☺

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Paw Prints
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    2 March 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello Grandy,

    Ouchy... your jaw sounds painful... I hope it is settling down for you...

    You have done more with your pedal machine than me... you moved yours... I've just looked at mine 😂 Oh wouldn't it be wonderful if the exercise we do in our mind worked for us like doing real exercise does...

    Lass I'm sorry that something you read has triggered you... I really hope it wasn't anything I've said... it can seem to be a slow road coming back from a dark patch... you can do this lass... it's good that you are managing to sit outside & soak up all of natures beauty...

    Have you hugged your tree lately?... feeling it's strength.. hearing all the different sounds it creates... thinking of all the creatures it supports...

    Big huggily hugs

    Paws

    2 people found this helpful

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