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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Alone..Depressed..Sad..

Topic: Alone..Depressed..Sad..

  1. demonblaster
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    1 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Beautiful friend Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone ☺

    Hi sweetyheart I really hope you're going ok there.

    Hey hun I was reading back before and hadn't replied to something you mentioned.

    Darlin I get why you don't get into conflict. You've had people making your life so damned hard and I guess taught to not say things or pay for it. I never think worse of you dear friend ever. Couldn't you're the best 🤗 love care and worry about you so much.

    I think you're a beautiful kind loving lady.

    It's an honour being your besty 👼⚘🗯👀👂👩‍❤️‍👩💜

    Always love you 🕊🗯🌞

  2. Ggrand
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    2 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Hanna, Katey, Paws, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩and all...🤗..

    Thank you for your supportive and helpful posts...

    Mrs. NSC will do absolutely anything for her friends, including me...She has a good heart with a dark side to it..
    She looks after my dogs is I need to be away from home overnight..then again I look after hers...I don’t know, I helped her paint the lattice work on her veranda, then had to go to lunch the next day because she cooked it for both of us...Then the following day she’s in my yard, digging my beautiful Bush rocks out...because to her my yard is ugly...anyway what’s done is done now....

    I did stand up to her once Deebi, because she was downing Betty...It lead to my first hospital admittance... and when I got home..she was adding height to our 6’ colour bond fence..

    I have only Betty and my neighbour in town I talk to...Oh and my neighbour’s friend who visits her twice a week...I have been over their with her other friend...who I noticed also agrees with her to keep the piece between them...
    Its not hard for me to keep the peace between us...I learnt long ago that peace is safer then conflict...but it’s downing me...

    It’s like I don’t have a choice to say no..when she makes lunch for me, without even asking me!..Had no choice to fix my fence the way she wanted it done...I try to say no.....but my emotions let me down when I try to stand up to someone...Lips start quivering then tears...haha I must look funny trying to stand up for me in tears.....so I prefer not to....Better to go with their flow and avoid conflict or embarrassment by way of tears...

    I am down but not out...so please don’t worry....Been colouring in, playing games, de cluttering, collecting water while it’s raining and getting soaked 😂...in the process...Just love the pure rain water falling in me...

    Mental Health brought me a lovely hamper yesterday..with basic foods and personal items....It was a beautiful surprise....I shared the food with Betty..some things I don’t eat...and the things Betty and I don’t eat I gave to Mrs..NSC...She was so happy it was only pasta, rice and long life milk...They both were..

    The weather has wild with storms, strong winds, rain and hail...today the sun is shining and my plants are in full bloom..maybe a sit outside will restore my soul a bit...

    Much SSS love dearest bbff..,with my care..💚👼🧸🤗🦄..

    My love, hugs, care and gratitude to everyone...

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Hanna3
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    2 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy,

    Mrs NSC sounds so like the bossy woman friend I told you about. She drove me nuts she was so overbearing but she was very good if you were in trouble or needed help.

    Sometimes I think we just have to do our best to bear with the things about a friend that we don't like because they are good in other ways.

    I know it can be hard to do!!!

    You may need her help again some day.

    I got told off this morning for sitting in my car in the rain listening to music and enjoying the view from the church hall carpark up on a hill looking over the mountains - a woman came out and told me I couldn't park there and she'd taken my car number plates - heavens, it's an empty car park and I sit in the car enjoying the view!

    Some people get very territorial!

    I'm off to clean my refrigerator what fun!

    Hugs 🙂💗🏝️🦄🐥🦜

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  4. Tess2
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    3 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy,

    i have been thinking about you and following your posts

    your neighbour has a bloody nerve to dig up your side of the fence then leave you to clean it up. But arguing with her probably wouldn’t do much except upset you

    how are your doggies?

    mine are on my bed keeping me company. I can’t get up today , no energy. I am a bit sick of myself

    tess

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  5. demonblaster
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    4 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone 👋

    Not good hearing you're down but it is hearing not out. Good hun keep above that line sweet thing 🤗

    Dear love it does sound so hard being around Mrs nsc and I guess eating at you and contributing to being down?

    I think you're right by not getting into it with her but what's a worry is it might be adding if not the cause of you being down you poor love 💜 I'm and many are always by your side sweet lady. Not the same I know but you do have quality friends.

    Darlin well done keeping busy it sounds like you've had a bit of variety which keeps the mind occupied. How're you going with your diamond painting darl?

    The flowers sound happy and well. Awesome. Sounds hard to get things growing there so quite an achieve.

    I'm still making your pweddy prezzy 🎁 I hope you love it.

    Grandy pubAok sweety friend it's pretty damned average being low isn't it.

    Hey btw thanks for mentioning the activity book I was in mania and was so excited to get into it now all thoughts are in my head sigh but want to get something together before her b.day this mth.

    It's a lovely day here I hope it is for you beautiful after your yukko weather yesterday and that you get some quality soul regenerating time on our verandah 🤝 We have so many amazing memories don't we. Love them.

    Always deeply love you and care so much Grandy. Thoughts 🗯 always.

    Love to the gorji furs... oh oh 😆 ours here wanna come and stay if that's ok. The hide of them they want cuddles from you... yeah like they don't get enough already 😅hymmm...hands on hips..foot stomping...sounds like a barn dance 😄 yeehaaaa...💃

    Big love sweets 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🕊🗯👼🎁☺🤗

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  6. Ggrand
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    5 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Dear Hanna, Tess! Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone...🤗.

    Thank you all for your caring posts..

    I had a dream last night..that Mrs NSC, was with a broom and hose cleaning the outside of my home...It was so real..that cleaning the outside of my home will be my next major job😂😂...

    I have had people like her around me most of my life, blowing hot and cold...I think that she is getting frustrated with her eldest son living with her, he’s been here for around 3 months now....When I took some of the hamper over to her, she made a coffee for me...and said she wants him gone...He does nothing to help her, both financially or physically....won’t mow her lawns, clean up his mess, or distribute to household finances....and that he has in the past physically abused her...I can hear them arguing a lot..which people that know me here is a trigger for me...I now have my radio turned up louder then I like, to block out the loud yelling and swearing...and staying inside mostly...

    I was thinking maybe that is why she started to do my fence line until I took over...maybe because she was angry with him and wanted to get him out of her head...idk just my thoughts..

    I am just so tired, having people like her, in my life..it’s hard work trying to always keep everyone around me happy to live in some type of peace..

    Deebi,, I hope you’re okay..I’ll pop over to yours today/night..I’m pleased I reminded you about activity book...I start things..then completely forget about them...like my walking stick 😂.but that’s okay..big love to you my SSS bbff..💚🧸🤗👼🕊🍀.

    Tess..It is always so lovely to see you....I will pop over to your thread today where I read your not doing the best mentally...and chat to you there if that’s okay...

    Hanna, I agree, that it’s best to do what we can do, to bear with people, I know she will do anything for me if I need her...as I would do for her....she calls me her friend when she talks to her other friend...hmmm...and with friends, we have to take the good with the bad..That’s what friends do...She knows I’m here for her if she needs to talk..I told her she can stay at mine if she needs a break from her son...she declined...

    Today is a beautiful sunny day..I’m determined to not hide inside today..and have my cuppa tea outside in the sun this morning, maybe mow my lawn later today..I’ll see how I feel about the mowing...😓..

    I hope everyone, fur babies included off course has a beautiful day today..

    Love, care and hugs everyone..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy.

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  7. Hanna3
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    6 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy

    Sorry I haven't been around here sooner! I think you are spot on about Nrs NSC - sounds like she was working off anger/frustration when she was in your yard!

    It must be stressful living next door to arguing and fights. Poor old you!

    As you say, she can help in times of trouble and we all need someone then. I think it's good you haven't spoken out too much to her, much as you wish you could.

    I just had to get the lawn.mowed today but that's $80 out of my pension it makes things so difficult. This is a quarter acre block and requires a ride on. The neighbour who did it last time said she'd come back with a whipper-snipper but she never did and the grass was about 3 feet high against the fence.

    I put a thank you card in her letter box but I haven't seen or heard from her since. People sure don't seem to be very friendly here!

    I'm tired of the lockdown I'd like to be able to go to the library and I need to get to O town! Poor Sam has such thick fur he's so hot but we can't get to a groomer. No official word yet on when the town will open up.

    Going to take Sam for a late walk today when it's cooler. Yesterday was cold!

    Rosemary next door has the house and yard locked up against covid and we never get to chat any more. Poor Molly her little dog sometimes cries at the side fence because she wants to say hello to Sam.

    Sending you hugs! 💗🙂🐳🏖️🦄🍬🐩

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  8. Paw Prints
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    8 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello Grandy, wave to everyone,

    Oh lass, that is not good having the raised voices next door... good idea turning the radio up... I hope you have managed some time on your verandah with a cuppa... this spring weather should be enjoyed before the heat hits.

    The farmer has put a small herd of cattle in the paddock next door... Woofa has his nose out of joint because they wont play (running back & forth beside the fence)... so he has been doing a lot of barking at them through the lounge window. Have there been any cows put in the paddock across from you?

    How thoughtful of your MH people to give you a hamper... you are so lovely sharing it with Betty & Mrs NSC...

    It sounds like you have been keeping busy... how is your diamond painting going?... I have been playing a lot of Mahjong.

    Huggily hugs

    Paws

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  9. Ggrand
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    9 October 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna, Paws, 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Deebi and everyone.....🤗..

    Thats sad about your neighbour Rosemary....I hope she is okay...maybe if you ring her and ask her..maybe she will let you take Molly for a walk with little Sam....or let Molly play at yours for an hour or so....it would make both the fur babies happy....

    Thats a lot of money for your lawn to be mowed out of your pension..it’s hard enough to get by week by week with bills, rent etc....Maybe a young teenager from town might do your lawn for less money....A bit of pocket money for them...

    Paws..I’m really lucky theirs around 50+ cattle across from mine and they have been sitting under the big tree across from mine...they are really funny sometimes..there’s a brand hanging down from the tree...that the cows use to scratch their backs with....

    No..the raised voices are not good...it’s only every so often when they argue...Not sure of his age but I think around 40 years old....It’s very un respectful how he talks to him mum...and visa vera....very sad really...

    My daughter in law rang me today....The Drs. don’t think her dad will survive the night....He is a good man...and he was their for me many times, just after my husband passed away...😢.....Life can be so unfair...

    Love, hugs everyone....

    Grandy...

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  10. Paw Prints
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    9 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello Grandy,

    Oh lass I'm sorry you have had such sad news... life is very unfair...

    Be gentle with yourself... allow yourself to grieve... perhaps you might find it comforting to light a candle in his memory...

    Gentlest of hugs

    Paws

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  11. demonblaster
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    10 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hey there beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and other lovely peeps ☺

    Dear love I think about you so often night & day and have been concerned about how you're feeling. Oh Grandy and now your Dils Dad that's sad hun. I'm so sorry hearing that of someone lovely like he sounds. So good you have lovely memories of him darlin. Good man.

    Darlin how are you going overall? You know the score only reply if and when you're up to. No rush at all. Take what time you need honey 🤗

    Yip it doesn't sound nice at all hearing that they argue hard at times. Never good hearing people in conflict and angry. Doesn't sound like he helps out at all with household. Not good.

    Beautiful hearing you have the cows and under y/our gorgeous gum sounds fantastic. So glad you have them there.

    It's another gorgeous day here, haven't walked yet I'm thinking to lay down for a while. We're preparing for tomoz when we'll have help bringing Mr beautifuls furniture in yay then we can slowly unpack more. Ugh so ongoing.

    Sorry just thought I'd throw that bit in.

    Always very deep strong love sss. You mean the world tome and many people dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🕊🗯👼👀👂😍🤗🐉

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  12. Ggrand
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    10 October 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hello Paws, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone...🤗..

    Thank you so much for your kind posts..

    My dil father is still continuing to fight..The damage done by this virus has damaged his heart, lungs and due to low oxygen saturation his brain has been damaged...COVID is devastating to the ones that it advances on....

    My dil’s sister/ brother in law and 3 year old niece who has COVID hasn’t been effected much at all, at the moment and I’m praying to God that they don’t....

    My boss from op shop rang me...as they are opening up Monday for cleaning and then Tuesday for trading....I think just because everything is allowed to re open..it doesn’t mean they should....People are still contacting COVID daily in the town that the op shop is in....doesn’t make sense to me....anyway it’s something to think about tomorrow...

    I’m okay...Thank you Deebi for asking..I’m doing the best I can in life...and that has to be good enough to get through each day as it comes....Big love to you precious bbff.💚🧸🤗🌹..

    Much love to all you beautiful people talking to me or just listening along here....💜🤗🌹..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  13. Hanna3
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    10 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy

    I'm sorry about your family members who are sick with covid. It certainly is nasty if you get it badly and unvaccinated.

    We're going to have to negotiate the opening up carefully. I don't want to go to indoor cafes but will sit outside. I do have to shop but they are taking fully vaccinated only which is good. The Vinnies store here has a sign up saying fully vaccinated only allowed inside. If your store is doing that and you're fully vaccinated you should be as safe as it's possible to be these days.

    Full vaccination seems to give very good protection from getting sick.

    Friends of mine in the USA go to outdoor cafes and do shopping but still avoid cimemas and indoor restaurants and large crowds indoors anywhere.

    I'm going to do the same. I'm very glad to be vaccinated! I can't understand people not wanting it!

    The number of people in hospital is going to increase a lot, so we need to stay well if we can. I'm continuing to wear a mask.

    I figure it's dangerous every time I go out in the car...

    Yes $80 out of my pension each fortnight is just dreadful. The lawn needs a ride on mower it is so large so a kid can't do it. I wrote to the local MP but if course he's gone off to better things...

    Hugs 🌼🌿

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  14. Hanna3
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    12 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand
    Sam is sick Grandy see my thread. I'll have to get him to the vet as soon as they open. I'll have to take out a loan from centreline to pay. He's had dark diarrhoea and passing bloody urine all night. Xx
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  15. Doolhof
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    12 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    HI Grandy and All,

    Thinking of yo all who live in the Eastern states. Who knows what is going to happen when everything opens up again. We live in S.A. and have had restrictions of sorts even with no Covid cases here.

    I really wonder what will happen in society with the double Covid vaccinated and those who choose not to have the vaccine.

    As a worker at the door checking people just for flu vaccines at present, I feel for the people who are going to have to check that people are properly Covid vaccinated. Refusing entry to people is not easy!

    Take care everyone!

    Sorry to read about family members who have Covid Grandy.

    Regards to you all from Dools

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  16. Paw Prints
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    12 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello Grandy,

    Lass I will keep everything crossed that your dil's sisters family will come through their covid without getting any worse... it must be such a worry for you all especially with her fathers deteriorating condition. It is lovely that your dil feels she can ring you when she needs someone to talk to.

    Did you go into the shop today or have you decided to wait until the covid cases reduce?

    I'm glad the cows are back in the paddock across from you... they are such endearing creatures to watch...

    Huggily Hugs

    Paws

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  17. Ggrand
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    12 October 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hello Hanna, Dools, Paws, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone...🤗.

    I don’t want things to open up again..because it means I will be taken out once again to appointments...

    Betty rang me last night to say that the op shop will be closed for this week and re open next Monday...no one wants to go back...which is understandable because the volunteers are mostly elderly ladies....and don’t want to take the risk of COVID As were are still getting positive cases in that town...

    My dil’s father has been moved to palliative care, and is being kept as comfortable as possible...My dil wants so much to be able to visit him and sit with him, unfortunately she is not allowed to do that....I think that’s so sad and not right at all....

    Dools..I think it would be a very hard job to ask to see customers vaccination certification...I feel for anyone having to do that job...People can be so rude and disrespectful if they don’t get their way, they don’t care about others, so they get angry when told they have to be vaccinated before they are allowed in.....I work out back and don’t see the customers...I get too much anxiety working with other people or having to interact with customers..

    Paws...I am very close to my dil and love her as if she was my daughter...and she knows that I’ll be here for her if she needs to talk...Her brother-in-law, sister and niece are still doing okay at home...and have only mild symptoms....maybe because they were vaccinated....

    I think in time, after things get back to normal* things like being vaccinated or not will be pushed back....and it won’t matter either way...,just my thoughts...

    Hoping you’re okay Deebi...24/7 💭...with care , some 🧸🤗and 💕 love..

    My care, luv and hugs to everyone....🦋💜🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🦄👼..

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  18. Hanna3
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    13 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy

    Have you heard any more about your dil,s family in hospital?

    I think there will always be some cases if covid around as this virus is here to stay, hopefully it will just become like seasonal flu and we will get a vaccination each year.

    I talked with my very good lady GP the other day and once you're fully vaccinated she's happy for us to go out and about pretty normally as we are safe from getting sick although we still catch it and pass it on we don't get sick unless we are elderly and have other problems. I understand with your heart issues you might want to be careful.

    Is it cold there? It certainly is here today!

    💕🥀

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  19. Ggrand
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    13 October 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna, Paws, 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Deebi and everyone.....🤗..

    My dil rang me to let me know her dad passed away from COVID today....

    Feeling really sad...We are all going to miss him so much...

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  20. Hanna3
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    13 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Grandy I'm so sorry. I don't suppose your dil could be with him either. It's very hard.

    My deep condolences to you and your family

    💕🌹💝

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  21. demonblaster
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    13 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Oh darlin Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩

    That's such sad news I really am sorry you're all going through that awful pain 🤗

    I was just about to reply to your post above and saw this. It is very sad hun.

    Dear love I wish I could be with you to give some comfort or look after you.

    Poor dil she must be shattered too.

    Darl I think you're all wise not going back to the shop yet. It's not under control yet. Imo not worth the risk at this stage.

    I felt sorry for you dreaming about Mrs NSC cleaning the outside of the house but had a chuckle you saying that's your next big job. You're gorgeous Grandy ☺

    I hope it's been better weather there lovey it seems to make it all easier when it's a lovely day spreading light around.

    Always you're strong in my thoughts dear love. PubAok need you so much. You're a great comfort and an incredible bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 💜

    Grandy love anytime you need to talk ... always listening sweet lady 🤗🤝🗯👼👀

    Cry when you need hun. Breathe deeply too darlin ⚘

    Always deepest of love 🕊

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  22. Paw Prints
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    13 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello Grandy,

    Oh lass I'm so sorry... this must be so hard for you all... especially with all the restrictions adding another level of difficulty to something that is so terribly hard in itself...

    Lass we are all sitting with you in spirit... wrapping our arms about you...

    Paws

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  23. Ggrand
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    13 October 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hello Hanna, 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Deebi, Paws and everyone...

    Thank you so much for your caring posts...

    Just letting you know that I won’t be around much for the next week..l

    I’m needing some time to get myself together...

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

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  24. Hanna3
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    13 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy

    Of course you take whatever time you need and please know we're here any time you want to talk here.

    Lots of soft hugs from me and little Sam 💝🌹🥀🌼💐💞

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  25. Shelll
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    13 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand
    So very sorry Grandy💙
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  26. demonblaster
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    14 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hey sweety 👩‍❤️‍👩

    Thanks for letting us know darl yes take as much time as you need. It's very hard sifting through the gambit of emotions.

    Deep love always bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 always close by 🤗🤝👀🕊⚘💜

  27. monkey_magic
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    15 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy,

    My condolences, very very hard.

    Here for you if you need me.

    💞

    2 people found this helpful
  28. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
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    demonblaster avatar
    7538 posts
    15 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand
    Deep love sweetyheart 🤗🗯👩‍❤️‍👩💜⚘
    1 person found this helpful
  29. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9067 posts
    16 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Hanna, Shell, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Magic, Paws and all..🤗.

    Thank you so much for your heartfelt posts..

    My dil, son, grandson and dil’s mother are all grieving but are also doing okay as well....What’s hurting a lot for them, even though they are vaccinated they weren’t allowed to see him to sit with him....They did FaceTime before he was put onto the ventilation machine...While he could still talk..I told her.....better that memory of him instead of the memory of him being so sick and on the ventilator...l hope I said right..I’ve been second guessing those words for a couple of days now..

    Thank goodness the other ones that contracted COVID had only minor symptoms and are now COVID free..the others were all vaccinated where dil’s father wasn’t...Vaccination does help....

    Regional NSW isn’t allowed to travel into the Sydney suburbs and visa versa, which means that I cannot attend the memorial service they are having for him...,In a way I am pleased that I’m not allowed, because driving so far on my own is something that I’m unable to do and feel safe doing..,

    I have been talking to my dil and son over the phone...and they understand my anxiety about driving so far and told me that it’s okay....It’s only going to be an immediate family small memorial service as they are limited to attendance numbers...Not sure when this is going to take place..

    My heart goes out to all those who have lost love ones from COVID....Please if your not...Please try hard to put your fears about being vaccinated to sleep and get vaccinated to protect you, your loved one, family and friends....

    My kindest thoughts everyone with my love and care..🕊💜🕊🤗...

    Bbff....Thank you for your deep love...ditto precious bbff..🌹💚🤗.

    Take care of yourselves everyone...you are all very important and beautiful people..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3213 posts
    16 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy dear lady

    I think what you said was perfect. I am sorry for all you and your family are going through. The terrible thing about someone dying from covid is that loved ones cannot be there with them and that's so hard.

    I wasn't with my mother when she died when I was 18 and I've always worried about her dying alone. I was on the way to the hospital with my father but we didn't get there in time.

    It's completely understandable you don't want to drive that far by yourself for the funeral. Can you do something meaningful yourself at the time of the funeral?

    I'm so sorry you and your family have had to go through this.

    Sending comforting hugs your way

    💝

    1 person found this helpful

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