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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

Topic: Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

  1. Paw Prints
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    7 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna3,

    Oh you poor things, I had hoped the cool change would give you a few days reprieve from the heat & smoke. Thankfully for me it doesn’t get as hot here as you have been having. We will be back up in the high 30s by the end of the week then another change is due over the weekend. You’re not the only one counting down the days to Autumn, anything over 20 is too hot for me.

    I have a shallow birdbath for the local fairy wrens but being shallow does mean it needs constant monitoring. After all the rain we had over spring most of the dams hereabouts are still full & the creeks still have water so the local wildlife here are managing really well. There is still plenty of feed here too. The last few summers the dams were low or empty by mid January so it is a nice change. There is a dam in the neighbours paddock next to my house & a national park across the road so I get to see a lot of the local wildlife & birdlife coming & going.

    My last lost the end. I had also searched for feeding wildlife in drought, there were some good sites with helpful info on what wildlife can eat safely & how to feed different animals. Somethings I hadn’t thought of such as putting food in different types of trees to feed different types of animals & putting water down low for lizards, echidnas etc.

    I’ve not been doing much of anything lately, my mh hasn’t been good so I’ve basically been cocooning. Woofa seems to know when I’m down & tends to stay close.

    Were you living in the UK or holidaying when you were last in Wales? It’s ok if you don’t want to say.

    Paws

  2. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3208 posts
    8 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws, sorry to hear you haven't been too good lately. All the bad news on TV doesn't help either I know I have to be careful how much I watch. So hot today I'll be going into the shopping mall for some aircon and hoping poor Sam is OK with a fan going and ice water, it's a worry when he's not a young dog and had been sick in the past. Trouble is if I get sick there's nobody to look after him!

    I think the drought here is so severe that helping a possum or two is OK, I'm careful to give them fruit they like not things like bread that would make them sick. The birds love the birdbath and if I had any grass I'd put a low dish out for lizards etc (with a couple of small rocks so they can reach it) but the back yard is just dirt now as all the grass has died from the drought and we cannot water gardens here as the water restrictions are extreme.

    I was only visiting the UK years ago I did a trip around, would love to go back but cannot afford it! I remember how emerald green everything was, stunning.

    You sound like me and Sam - when we came here to look at the house it was snowing and at minus 7 degrees Sam was running around the park here like crazy thinking it was wonderful! We didn't know the summers had become like this, but even this is extreme according to anyone I ask.

    I'm off to give Sam a bath to cool him down and then hunker down in the mall again and read for a couple of hours, boring and not comfy but the only way I seem to be able to cope - then back to care for Sam.

    Take care Paws, do post again if you feel like it, I'm sorry to hear you're not great at the moment, let's hope when Autumn comes we'll all feel better...

    Furry hugs from Sam to you and Woofa!

  3. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3208 posts
    8 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi again Paws,

    I'm back from my two hours sitting in aircon in the mall and gave Sam a bath this morning which made him feel much better!

    I noticed a post somewhere just now (I hope you don't mind, I happened upon it) where you mention you were the odd one out as a child and didn't matter much. I was the youngest by 6 and 7 years behind my two brothers and the only girl. For some reason my brothers have always hated me. They have always belittled me and seen me as a laughing stock. I went to a psych for ages but it wasn't until I read a book about narcissistic mothers that I realised that was the problem with my mother - whatever I did was wrong - if I did well at school she'd tell me I was stupid, if I did badly in a maths test (not my best subject!) she would scream and then refuse to speak to me for days. So I had that as well.

    I grew up with absolutely no self esteem and socially extremely anxious. I've struggled with being lonely all my life. Now I've made a terrible decision and I am more of a mess than ever.

    However I posted this because I wanted to say I can absolutely understand how awful childhood memories can be and how much they can affect us all through life. I was assaulted by a workman on a neighbouring house when I was six, and again when I was twelve (long story) and have never felt safe again. In another town I lived in not that long ago I had a man stalk me and that was terrible - and I'm not young!

    My little guy Sam is the one companion I have had and I don't know how I would have coped without him. He's eight now and nearly died of a liver problem before I came here. I love him to bits. I have no doubt Woofa is the same for you. We love our pets so much don't we and they give us such love and comfort.

    I just wanted to say I can understand at least having awful childhood problems, and how much they impact on the rest of your life. I'm beating myself up for my mistake moving here, but suspect behind it is the silly belief somewhere that I'll somehow be a different - and improved person - in a new place.

    So dear Paws, I am so grateful to you and a couple of others here who have been such a support to me, and if I can offer you any help/support/understanding I am here for you.

    I truly hope you can feel a bit better soon. Do know that I am thinking of you and will give Sam a special hug for you tonight. Take care my friend and pats to Woofa from us here xx

  4. Paw Prints
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    8 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna3,

    I can imagine how lovely it must have looked in the snow. It's crazy that somewhere that gets snow can also get the high temperatures you have been getting. That the summers are milder where it snows (with the odd hot patch) is something I have always assumed.

    I think it's wonderful you're feeding the possums. I couldn't imagine being in a drought affected area & doing nothing. So many wildlife shelters are dealing with animals impacted by the drought. A wombat refuge which my sister has been supporting for many years has been putting out roo pellets & hay in the bush for the last few years, just to keep the local populations going.

    I have "the mystery of the disappearing water" happening here. My birdbath has, every now & then, the last month or so, gone from being full in the evening to empty in the morning. I'm thinking that the culprits may be the wallabies who like to wander into my yard to munch on my grass and that now, having discovered the birdbath, they are helping themselves instead of hopping a hundred or so yards to the dam next door.

    The green in the UK is gorgeous isn't it. I also loved the softer light without the glare we get here. I have a niece & her hubby currently holidaying over there, I messaged them they could have offered to smuggle me over in their suitcases. Their reply mentioned weight restrictions on baggage. 😁

    I hope you feel refreshed from the cool in the mall

    Paws

  5. Hanna3
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    3208 posts
    8 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    I'm sorry if my last post was inappropriate, you haven't mentioned it so I think it must have been and I apologise for that.

    I think what happens to my birdbath is that the birds bathe in it before I am up in the morning!

    I am hopeful a friend here who has aircon may be going to the city for a few days either tomorrow or the next day, in which case Sam and I will be able to use her house during the day which has aircon - bliss! She's letting me know tomorrow.

    Yes I only realised when I went to England how much our fierce sun bleaches out the colours in things - I remember being stunned at how brilliant the colours of the roses was, and that our trees are more grey than the green over there.

    Glad you are cooler than us here. Yes the climate here never used to have such summers, apparently it's happened in the last few years - unfortunately I didn't know and nobody mentioned it to me!

  6. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3208 posts
    8 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Paws, it was nice last night when I went to sit on the back steps as it's cooler outside than in, and I startled possum who was busy tucking into the fruit I'd left. I must have startled him/her because it took off up the tree with a large piece of banana safely clutched in one paw!

    It must have come back later as all the fruit had gone when I checked next morning. Good!

  7. Paw Prints
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    8 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna3,

    You haven't offended. My last seems to have been delayed appearing as when I posted it your last was that you were off to wash Sam & head to the mall.

    Thank you for reaching out & sharing your life. Its horrible when our feeling of being safe is taken from us. It is one of the reasons I moved here. My family doesn't understand how I can feel safer here than in town, but because of things that happened not only in my childhood but later, I was on high alert all the time in town because there were always people around & so many triggers. Though I don't think I will ever feel safe again, it is easier here.

    Your move has had such a very rough start compounded by the holiday closures I'm not surprised you are struggling to feel it was the right thing. It is still possible that when things re-open & it gets cooler you may find a niche there that fits you. Please don't blame yourself if it isn't working. You made the best choice you could with the information you had, there is not a person on earth who can do more than that. Keep reminding yourself that you don't have to be there forever if it doesn't work.

    You won't know yourself being in air con for a few days. I do think they might notice if you try to take it home when you leave though.

    Woofa says ta muchly for the pats. He wanted to send thank you slobbers but I said no.

    Hugs

    Paws

  8. blondguy
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    8 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna

    Thankyou for taking the time to post back and understanding about some people that walk their dogs off a lead.....Its such a pain....and my dog is huge and been attacked twice....grr

    Just a helpful note if I can....I addressed a member as a male back in 2016 when she was female....yet her screen name wasnt helpful as it was gender neutral which made 'her' posts difficult to address. Your post to Dools was caring and thoughtful...Nice1 Hanna!

    Its up to the member you replied to, to make their screen name somewhat comfortable to respond to....Its only my humble opinion if thats okay Hanna :-)

    I dont envy what you are going through Hanna with the smoke and heat....You mentioned 'not fighting' what you are going through..It took me years to understand the benefits of what you are doing now...

    Excuse I if someone has covered this in your thread Hanna......do you have a P2 mask(s) for the smoke?

    my kind thoughts

    Paul

  9. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3208 posts
    8 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws, actually after I wrote Sam sends furry hugs to Woofa I realized what a sight it would be - my fluffy little fella trying to hug a Great Dane! A bit of a stretch for little Sam...

    I know all about triggers I have to be careful of them too. I think it's why I like being around nature I find it soothing and calming. So many people turned out to be unsafe that my warm furry doggie is always dependable and has been such a help. I think where you are sounds lovely. I definitely am not a hot weather person, I like cool and fresh - as long as I can put on a jacket and go for a good walk I am happy, so this weather doesn't suit me or Sam at all. It definitely isn't what I expected, what a shock!

    Glad I didn't say the wrong thing I was a bit worried I'd overstepped the mark. I enjoy peace and quiet and being just by myself with Sam (and a good book usually) outdoors. It was what I liked when I lived on the coast - just going out to sit by the water under the trees with a book and a thermos of coffee and Sam and me together.

    When I lived here (for two years long long ago when it was green and the summers were cool) I used to have a favourite valley some miles from here - I'd just drive out there and sit and listen to the birds and trees and the lambs bleating in the valley below, it was glorious. I guess the drought and heat have spoiled all that for now. I will have to hope they come back again... I couldn't drive out there again now, it would spoil my memories of how beautiful it once was. Oh for rain and cool weather and green grass again!

    My friend hasn't confirmed that she's going to Sydney tomorrow, I do hope she goes after that (it sounds awful to wish a friend away like that doesn't it) but I do oh so want the peace of her house and the cool aircon for Sam and me for a couple of days! It's like a holiday for us.

    Have a good evening Paws it's getting late, another (hot) day tomorrow... take care.

  10. Paw Prints
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    9 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna3,

    I'm so sorry you're struggling so badly.... I saw on your other post how much trouble you are having trying to access a decent GP or support where you are.... I can't believe they cut your meds.... Lass have you tried ringing the BB support no. 1300 224 636.... I would think they would be able to give you contact details for a decent GP in your town.... They should also be able to connect you with the appropriate section of the mental health unit which covers your area.... I know some other ladies here on BB who live in NSW have mental health workers who call on them.... go with them to the shops.... meet up for a cuppa. The mental health units may also help you navigate moving somewhere more suitable.... they usually can help access charities/Govt supports which may cover moving costs....etc

    I understand your being scared to go out without Sam.... I hate going anywhere without woofa.... more than once I've left my shopping trolley in an aisle & gone to sit with him when I've been overwhelmed while shopping.

    I really hope your friend has gone & you are luxuriating in air con bliss.

    Hugs

    Paws

  11. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3208 posts
    9 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws, Sam just sent you a furry hug on the BB Social Forum!

    Thanks for those numbers. I'm not feeling so bad I want to do anything extreme, just really hit a low it's so boring and I spend day after day alone. I have joined a book club that meets next Thursday at 5pm.. but it's an effort to front up to a new group too.

    One of my friends from Small Coastal Town rang me this morning because she is missing my company. I'm lonely too. I guess it's nice someone is missing me!

    The two GPs were dreadful. The first one was so rude, I've since spoken to people who know of others who refuse to ever see her she was so nasty so it's not just me. It seems she decided to be nice to some people and others she singles out to be really rude to. I've had another GP at the same practice recommended as being very kind, so I have an appointment next Thursday and we'll see. Finding a new GP when you're on these medications is hard as they seem to assume that you're crazy (I'm not) and you're an addict! The prejudice is hard to take.

    A really boring day today but it's hot and muggy and not much we can do. I once knew an elderly lady who managed to get her little dog certified by her GP as a companion animal so she could take her into the shopping centre with her - animals can give so much support can't they? I can understand you going out to hug your dog when you feel overwhelmed. The support a dog can give is wonderful so I miss Sam not being by my side.

    My friend isn't going away until Sunday but will be away for a week, so we will be able to use her house for several days, which will be nice to have some aircon and a change for Sam as he can explore her garden and be cool for a while.

    Thanks for posting and another furry hug from Sam!

  12. Paw Prints
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    9 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna3,

    Thank you Sam for the furry hug... Iuckily woofa was busy barking at a ferocious leaf so he didn't see.

    Oh I really hope the new GP is nice... I know what you mean about changing to a new GP... the GPs here keep leaving & I find it really stressful having to fight to get a script from the new one... though my current GP is lovely & easy to talk to...

    Almost a whole week of air con bliss... you won't know yourselves. Perfect for sitting comfortably, reading the chosen book of your new book club.... do let me know what book they choose.

    Today was our hottest day for the week... so what did I do... I got a craving for fried dim sims.... I'm not big on fried food normally & when I have them it's usually steamed... so 4 oclock found me standing watching dim sims fry... adding heat to heat.... even woofa didn't want a share. I must confess they were nice & followed by a lemonade icy pole.... yummm

    I definitely lead a wild life when cooking dim sims is the highlight of my day 😁

    Hugs to you & Sam

    Paws

  13. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3208 posts
    10 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws! Dim sims sound nice - I'm on cold chicken and salad here because it's too hot to cook anything! Although I munch on things during the evening which is not helping my weight... and I love lemonade ice blocks from Coles, so does Sam, they are great when it's hot and you want something cool.

    I don't know if this new GP will prescribe a schedule 8 drug, it's one they have to phone up the govt and get approval for, I was put on it long long ago before they knew it was addictive, but the difference it made to my life was incredible - stopped the awful panic attacks and I was able to cope more or less. But they halved the dose when I moved here, with no supervision, and today it's occurred to me to wonder if my increasing anxiety and depression are at least partly related to the massive decrease in dose...

    I'm staying in bed until around 11am to rest while it's cool and also because I can't face the day.. am so anxious and shaking. I'm finding this town too big to navigate around, I can't find parking, I get lost. Poor Sam only gets a short stroll in the park in the evening now when it's cooled down enough...

    I have an old friend in the city who was my wonderful GP for years, he keeps in touch with me every couple of weeks or so by a quick phone call, I've just emailed him to ask his opinion whether the massive halving of my anti-anxiety drug is causing some of my problems - the GP here hasn't supervised me at all.

    Yes I hate trying new doctors and so many of them are hopeless. I worked in hospitals most of my life and I used to work with trainee doctors and once of the things we emphasised was their way of greeting and talking to people - and they definitely shouldn't be rude and controlling like these doctors were.

    I am missing the sea dreadfully and all our nice walks there. Poor Sam. It's great to have your support. I was trying to help greet a couple of people last night who were new, and had to contact a moderator as one sounded a bit suicidal and I didn't know how to cope, fortunately the moderator has posted to him. I was hoping someone more experienced would come on and help!

    Great to hear you are OK there, I hope you are safe from all these fires. I think I am having a cup of tea with the friend who is going away this afternoon, it would be a nice visit except her two large frightening dogs try to eat Sam alive, so we have to lock them out the back and sit on the porch instead of inside in the aircon... take care xx

  14. Paw Prints
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    10 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna3,

    I do wonder sometimes if some of the GPs out there got their qualifications out of a box of cereal. It makes no sense to me when they think it's ok to change our meds without first getting a detailed psych appraisal. Like you I'm on one med which needs them to make the phone call, I know I need it. It took time for my psych team in hospital & after to get a med regime which works for me. They closely monitored me with every change however small & I was surprised what a difference even a small change can make. I would not be surprised if the change to your meds is adding to your mh problems recently.

    Getting your sleep when the day is cooler makes sense to me. If that means you don't get up til noon that's ok. Do what works for you in the here & now.

    Just a suggestion, when I need to go to somewhere new (in the bigger town I go to for services), I usually google the town & check the google map to see the best way to get to the place & what parking there is nearby. I find it helps to reduce my anxiety at trying to find my way. Though if I'm honest I've been needing to go into town for the past week & my anxiety still isn't letting me go.

    There are times when I'm so pleased Woofa isn't the best at problem solving. I took a big juicy bone out of the freezer last night & put it on a covered tray on top of the freezer to defrost over night. If he jumped up against the freezer he could probably still reach it, instead he kept going over to the freezer & sitting in front of it & staring up. I'm wondering if he was hoping it might leap off all by itself. He nearly wagged his tail off when I got it down this morning for him.

    I learn't something new today. Apparently bees need to have a water supply to survive. I had thought they would get what moisture they need from the pollen & nectar, but an apiarist being interviewed on the ABC earlier said they need water sources as well. He said people could help by putting sticks & things in their birdbaths to let the bee reach the water without risk of drowning.

    Oops I've waffled on long enough, I'm almost out of characters

    Take care & pats to Sam

    Paws

    1 person found this helpful
  15. Hanna3
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    10 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    I had to laugh at your description of Woofa sitting in front of the freezer when he could have jumped up and got the food! Problem solving isn't Sam's strong suit either I'm afraid! He does try but he's only a little mutt.

    Yes isn't it a pain when GPs are so reluctant to give you a drug that helps you because they're so worried you're addicted (at my age so what anyway...) - my last GP was perfectly happy with my dose and I had a full report from my old Psych saying I did well on that dose, was very good at keeping my dosage low, and had never abused drugs. Still they halved the dose which shot up my anxiety straight after moving to a new place!

    I use the Google maps and directions too, usually I write out a list of which way to go, where to turn etc etc. It helps make me less anxious - I'm an anxious driver especially in places I don't know.

    Did you find anything to eat? I hope so. You sounded like you needed a bit of a feed!

    I started training as a nurse originally but got bullied out of it and have regretted not finishing ever since, as I went back as a volunteer nursing assistant in my 40's and absolutely loved it. Anyway I've worked with doctors most of my life so I don't like it when the GP's treat me like I'm a nut case because I've seen a Psych and am on some anti-anxiety meds! They should be more worried about the ones that need help and don't get it!

    It's still over 40 degrees here at 8.15pm and the fans are blowing hot air. My friend in Queensland has been going mad with the heat in a weatherboard house and just purchased a portable aircon for the lounge and rang me today to say it had reduced the temperature in the room from over 40 to 25 after 30 minutes. I think I need one... she said her dog and cat sat down in front of it immediately and refuse to move!

    Hope you're feeling a bit better. Take care, always nice to chat with you Katy. Pats to Woofa.

  16. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    11 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna :)

    It looks like there is a bit of a cross thread situation happening here. You've replied to Paws and I in the one post (which might have Paws a little confused), but we'll get there. Hi Paws - love the story about your Woofa and the bone hahaha

    I actually took my staffy, Storm, for a quick fishing trip with my brother last night at the beach. She's never seen live fish before and we placed a couple we caught into a rock pool and she tried to eat one until it starting flopping about and scared the heck out of her! It was delightful. Gosh she makes me smile. Then there was a whole lot of joyful running in the whitewash, and I wished I felt that enthusiasm for life. Like kids they are.

    Anyway my appetite is mostly back back, so that's nice. I'm feeling a little better mentally, which is why I was able to get out last night and this morning. Thank goodness.

    Your studies sounds pretty interesting. What a shame you never got to do what you would have liked though. I imagine you'd be a great librarian! I thought about nursing but don't like blood and needles lol. So I've worked in nursing homes, which I really enjoyed until I couldnt' work anymore. Am absolutely loving my social work studies. The things we are learning are really diverse. There's been psychology, philosophy, human rights, etc and the unit I really enjoyed (unexpectedly!) was politics. There are times though when I've had to compulsorily attend campus and my anxiety has been a huge issue there. I failed a practical assessment due to nerves, and was lucky it only made up a percentage of the overall unit mark, or I wouldn't have been able to pass. So that's hard, and why I study off campus :)

    Interesting to hear about your friend's portable aircon. I've always heard they are pretty rubbish and so have never bothered to purchase one. But that sounds amazing! Did she say it was very expensive? Do you think you could afford one? Maybe even on one of those payment plans? I imagine it would improve things for you immensely if you could.

    Well... while I'm on a roll with feeling ok, I'm off to spectate at a local event that's taking place. I like things like that where you can just nick off if you're feeling overwhelmed, and you don't have to talk to anyone while you're there either if you don't want. Perfect for me :)

    Chat later. Hugs and pats to the fur friends in the room x Katy

  17. Hanna3
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    11 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints
    Sorry Paws sorry Katy looks like I got my replies mixed up! I think it was the heat last night... Oops!
  18. Hanna3
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    11 January 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy, sorry for the mixup ( hi Paws & sorry too!) - it was so hot last night I got about two hours' sleep it was dreadful so I blame it on my brain overheating!

    How did you find the quality of care giving in Aged Care Katy? I worked in palliative care as a volunteer nursing assistant and I absolutely loved it, but it's very sad at times too of course. But to make someone feel more comfortable made me feel wonderful.

    I would enjoy social work I've looked at textbooks of it sometimes and it would be interesting. When I started Uni for the first semester they insisted we had to study anthropology, psychology and sociology, before deciding which one we would major in. Anthropology did fascinate me, and later bioethics because I was working in hospitals and it was very relevant. I thought of studying something here but the thought of days spent working on essays again put me off I'm afraid!

    I'm glad you're having an outing you sound better, and sounds like you and your dog and your brother had a great time last night! Yes Sam loved the sea, a bit scared of the waves but as long as it was shallow he just loved it. Also digging holes in the sand and putting his head inside them - he'd come out with a face covered in sand, what a sight!

    Went to my writing group today but it seems to be dominated by two men and we women can't get a word in. We are thinking of starting our own group. Oh well it was an outing. A bit cooler this evening thank goodness and Sam had a nice stroll in the park. Off to have a late dinner now. Hope you enjoy your outing!

  19. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3208 posts
    11 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints
    Sorry Paws for my reply to you read my reply to Katy - oops major mistake sorry. Definite brain overheating in temperatures in the mid-40's last night. Please excuse me it was a complete accident!
  20. Paw Prints
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    11 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hannah3, wave to Katy,

    That's ok, I was a bit bewildered at first with the end part until I saw it was for Katy. I have been following the chat in the cafe so the penny did drop. With the heat you've been having I'd be a puddle on floor unable to put one word together (forget two).

    Pity the book group wasn't more inclusive. Sounds like starting a new group might be good idea. What book are you meant to read before the next meet up?

    I love the image of Sam burying his head in the sand, that gave me a good chuckle. I think it very sensible of him being scared of the waves, they must look huge to him.

    Paws

  21. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    12 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna

    How's today looking for you? Yes, I thought the heat may have been responsible for the mixup in your messages. I don't blame you. You poor thing enduring so many days of heat.

    Yes, I found working in aged care incredibly rewarding but often heartbreaking too. Also, I fully understood the need for the recent royal commission into the sector. We were so often understaffed, and even fully staffed not able to fully meet the needs of the residents. I would love to see big changes in the sector so that residents care AND social needs are more fully met. I've been trying to work out where I might like to practice social work once I'm able to. I've been thinking palliative care, but there are so many areas you can practice in and a lot of them would be really great.

    What a bummer about book club. Can I be negative nancy for a moment though, and say "typical"! haha

    Well, not sure what I'm going to do today. Still not inspired to tidy my house or do my dishes. I've been up early and walked pup, so at least I've achieved something.

    Hope today's a good day for you and Sam. Take care, Katy x

  22. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3208 posts
    12 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws, yes sorry I confused you and Katy with mixing up replies. I think part of the problem too is that when I go to reply it throws me to the bottom of all the comments - I wish when you hit "reply" it just took you down from the comment you're replying to.

    It was a writing group, the book club is later this week... I used to do a bit of writing for radio some years ago. Yes not very inclusive, not sure I'll go back, think I might give it a miss. Cooler this morning thank goodness, hot now but it was lovely taking Sam for a walk in the park during the daytime for a change instead of just evening.

    Yes digging holes in the sand is apparently great fun if you're a dog - I used to tell him he'd come out at Southampton if he wasn't careful! I think the sand felt nice so he used to buy his face in it. What a sight...

    Cheers!

  23. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3208 posts
    12 January 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    My house is a wreck Katy it's been way to hot for ages to do any real housework. It's just me so I figure I can do it when it's cooler!

    Yes anyone working in aged care that I've talked to says they wish they had more time to spend chatting with patients etc but are too run off their feet. Terrifying to think of ending up in a place where you don't receive good care and maybe like me have no family to check up on you.

    I found being a volunteer nurse was particularly good because I could spend as much time as needed talking to patients and their families - that was considered part of the job for me so they couldn't pull me away to do more practical things instead. So I'd wash and feed and tepid sponge etc etc, but when patients or families needed someone to talk to I couldn't be interrupted. So it was quite indulgent nursing.

    Patients also liked I wasn't "officially" one of the nursing staff and so felt they could confide to me about things they didn't want staff members to know about.

    Spending time talking to lonely patients was so fulfilling. So was having the time to brush their hair, wash their faces, do their nails, give them a foot massage, whatever. When you're stuck in bed the little things like that really mean a lot to your comfort. We had a lot of crises too with patients deciding to have a fit, or a major haemorrhage, just as I was there.

    It's interesting that I have anxiety but never during a major crisis, I go completely calm. I once read a study where they said people who live with a heightened anxiety level are often better in a crisis because they are accustomed to anxiety!

    Your social work may open you to all sorts of options. Go you!

    Now I hope I have replied to the right people this time...!!!

  24. Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Valued Contributor
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    Katyonthehamsterwheel avatar
    1564 posts
    13 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna and Sam

    Yes, it's a definite benefit to living alone - not having to worry about housework. I'm feeling I might be able to get something done today finally though. Can't believe the dishes have been sitting there over a week now (ooops). My appetite is also back with a vengeance. I had KFC last night, plus drove to the servo late for ice cream and snacks! haha

    Volunteer nursing sounds really wonderful. I've never met any. Is this something that hospitals still have? I'd love to see them in nursing homes too. As you say, to do all the lovely things the staff don't have time for.

    Interesting you say that you're cool and calm in a crisis - I'm quite the opposite. My anxiety goes into hyperdrive. I've been through a few crises and was lucky to have had someone else on hand who could keep it together and do what needed to be done. So I guess that theory doesn't apply to everyone. Although my anxiety now is so much worse than back when I used to work. I mean, I can't work at all at the moment. I wish I could somehow wind my anxiety back to a manageable level like it used to be. We are so close to finishing uni and everyone is getting excited thinking about where they are going to work and what it will be like (I do talk to other students on line) and I'm just wondering how I can get myself to a point where I can actually manage it. Oh well, it is what it is.

    What's your news for today? Are you in that nice airconditioned house this week? I hope so. That will be lovely for you both. We're expecting 30 today, so I've walked Storm early and she's snuggled back in bed.

    Katy

  25. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3208 posts
    13 January 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy, my house is so bad at the moment I'm embarrassed but with weeks of heatwaves you can imagine I have had no energy to do housework, I've just been surviving!!!

    Glad to hear your appetite has improved with a vengeance by the sound of it - yay to KFC and ice cream I say!

    Don't worry yet about what you're going to do with your social work degree, just getting it is enough at the moment. You may find there's some voluntary work you can do with it and see how you go with that - so less stressful than finding a job. At the moment if I were you I'd just be thinking how great to have your graduattion and have your degree and heave a sigh of relief you've done it and big pats on the back for managing to do it, how fantastic is that!

    I'm stressed today. Pension not enough to cover the bills this week, especially sudden extra ones - Sam has to be clipped tomorrow, my lovely groomer moved to Queensland so I have to travel an hour to another town where I am booked with a groomer recommended to me, but I'm anxious about the drive, finding where she is, and how she is with Sam, and the cost is $70 help. Plus he's on a special diet so that cost $48 this morning. Insurance and computer bills to come out this fortnight too plus prescriptions I need. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to be eating... eeek.

    My friend has been too tired to leave yet, says she will probably leave tonight, can't use the house tomorrow because I have to drive to another town, so maybe Wednesday. The mornings are cooler at the moment but the afternoons really heat up.

    Have been looking at my commitments and realise I just can't cope with the stress of things I absolutely have to go to. Book club is OK as it doesn't matter if I don't turn up. Haven't been to church for a month, heat too much for me. I joined a choir but don't want to be committed to performing at the concerts - I really don't like performing, am wondering if they will accept me if I don't attend their concerts - I don't mind the rehearsals in the evening as they seemed a friendly crowd. Oh dear what to do.

    Have realised my anxiety and stress had to be carefully spaced out - a stressful day has to be followed by a very quiet day. I get exhausted quickly.

    So I'm trying to reduce things I absolutely have to attend, at the same time knowing I need a couple of friends here. Tricky.

  26. Paw Prints
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Paw Prints avatar
    1645 posts
    13 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna & wave to Katy,

    It takes a special person to care for/nurse strangers.... having nursed family I know I couldn't do it.... except perhaps for a very brief period responding to an emergency situation…. Many people think providing palliative care would be so depressing…. yet like you I found it a special time where the little things could make such a difference…. That you could be there for the families as well is lovely & I’m sure very much appreciated.

    As for being calm in a crisis.... for me very much depends on the type of crisis & if I feel responsible for those with me.... I'm calmer in a serious crisis.... such as suspected snake bite…. I do get in a tizz with little ones…. like coming home to a flooded house because the washing machine has overflowed.

    Very much my confusion with the writing group…. Sorry!!

    You have managed to find quite a few groups since moving there…. winnowing the ones you’re not coping with is just being sensible…. you’re not alone in being exhausted after a stressful day.

    Grrr your friend leaving later than planned.… even though the cooler mornings must be nice…. will she still be away for the same amount of time or will she be back earlier?

    With Sam’s new groomer being so far away, have you thought of checking with the local vets to see if they offer the service. Save you the drive & they may be cheaper.

    I finally managed to go into town to get scripts filled & grab a few things from Woolies yesterday…. Woofa enjoyed the drive…. he especially enjoyed his reward for being good…. a Maccas icecream…. the slobber cloth got a good workout….

    Paws

  27. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3208 posts
    13 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws (and Woofa!)

    I'm exactly the same in little crises at home believe me - and I'm ultra-anxious in busy traffic (which is why I am finding Big Inland Town very daunting - it was snowing heavily when I came to look at the house, so I guess people weren't out on the roads much so I didn't realize just how busy it is here). Just for some reason working in hospitals I've had people have a cardiac arrest/fit/haemorrhage/stroke in front of me and I go really calm until after it's all over (and then I get the shakes).

    I think partly it's because when you're nursing you're "role playing" in a way - you're Nurse not me Hanna who has anxiety issues.

    Gee there is a bad element in this town. On Saturday morning I walked Sam in the park we always go to and there are always plenty of people around. However we were in one spot where there wasn't anyone, just walking Sam on the lead, and a young teenage boy (I'd say 13 or 14) came up behind me, grabbed the lead off me, grabbed little Sam by the collar and started punching my little dog in the face with his other fist. His father just looked on laughing.

    I had a real struggle to get my dog back, the young boy was stronger than me, poor Sam didn't know why he was being hit and tried to get under a park bench to hide, and I was yelling at the teenager and the father to get away from my dog. Eventually I somehow got hold of Sam and got away. What would have happened if my little guy had bitten the boy to defend himself? I was pretty shaken after that believe me!

    Today driving home the driver ( a young guy) behind me almost hit my bumper yelling abuse trying to get me to go through a red light. I was so scared I pulled the car over to the side of the road to get away and get him past me.

    So I'm feeling a bit shaken tonight!

    I did ask at the Vet but they only recommended the groomer that everyone tells me not to go to. There are only two dog groomers in this huge town but 12 in the next town I'm driving to tomorrow which is smaller. Go figure! The other groomer is booked out and not taking anyone.

    I guess I'll make a day of it and have a look around a bit while I'm there.

    I don't know when my friend is coming back, I think she's gone tonight but I haven't heard - just that I have to go past her place to go to the park and this evening her car wasn't there. I don't know when she's coming back now. Hopefully we can use the aircon there for a couple of days.

    How are you keeping Paws? Pats to Woofa!

  28. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3208 posts
    13 January 2020 in reply to blondguy

    Hi Paul,

    Gee I'm sorry I missed your post until tonight - I can only think it's been the heat and my brain temporarily fried! Now I'm trying to think what I said to Dools - but thank you for being nice!

    No no proper masks for the smoke as the chemists here ran out of them and couldn't get in more - but the worst seems to be over now as they've got the megafire near here under control thankfully.

    Dogs need time off the leash, I used to love letting Sam run free along the beach and in big parks - and small dogs can have a go at big dogs I've seen it happen! Some little dogs just don't realize they're little!

    I saw your comment on the bushfires segment and was glad you'd said something as it was starting to look like a political website complete with all the nasty comments. Thanks for saying something about it Paul!

    Best wishes for now from me and little Sam!

  29. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3208 posts
    13 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Paws I've never forgotten some of the patients in the Palliative Care Unit I worked on. I remember one evening there was a sick elderly man sitting alone in his bleak little room with just a tiny radio for company - his wife had died and they had no children. Imagine how boring it is to be alone and sick night after night with no visitors! It was so great to be able to sit and talk to him - he was English and used to sing in a choir and I was in a choir so we talked about singing and all sorts of things.

    When I popped it to say goodnight when I was leaving he said to me "It was so nice to be able to talk to someone about choirs". Poor lonely man. I felt it was a real privilege to be able to help people like that.

    I really should volunteer to visit people in an aged care unit. If I could take Sam it would be really nice!

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Katyonthehamsterwheel avatar
    1564 posts
    13 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Some patients really get under your skin don't they? I remember one lady became palliative and didn't have any family so staff volunteered to sit with her around the clock until she passed. Brings tears now to think of it. Some I remember with a smile, and some I remember for their struggles. You should definitely look into volunteering. I know there is such a great demand here for volunteers in aged care.

    I was really shocked to read your story about the young lad abusing Sam! I honestly can't believe people behave like that! And with a parent watching on. That's just disgusting! I bet you were frightened, but it sounds like you do handle yourself well. I probably wouldn't want to leave the house again if that happened. How awful. Please give Sam a big smooch from me, and tell him he was such a good boy to take cover and not bite. What a lovely demeanour he must have.

    Well I started out feeling good this morning, but a stranger was rude to me and put me in a bummed out space, so I guess I'm not as "well" as I thought. I've picked up now and FINALLY managed my dishes - yay! And yep, I know what you mean about bills! I have 3 pets which I can not afford - one of my cats is on a special diet too, and I dread when they all run out of food at once, or one needs to go to a vet. My ex used to tease me about having to "eat a cup of flour" as I told him that at times I had had to resort to whatever was left in the cupboard. It's not a great feeling.

    Well, best of luck tomorrow for your out of town adventure. Let us know how it goes and if you find anything interesting on your journey. (Glad my dog doesn't need clipping - $70! ouch!).

    Katy

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