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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

Topic: Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

  1. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    10 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    Very hot here too and hot all week - poor Sam and I get very tired. Still no air conditioning installed!

    I hadn't thought about talking about school etc to my elderly friend - I just tried speaking to her then but she seems confused a lot of the time. It's a real shame.

    I have to do the paperwork for the bursary and wait for the conservatorium office to open, which is another week yet. I don't know how long they take to decide these things unfortunately..

    I am still on the strong painkillers for the back, ouch, they do make me very sleepy but they sure help with the pain... I see the doctor again on Wednesday. Tomorrow i hope to get to the dentist, it's going to be even hotter than today..

    I might take Sam out to the town park about 6pm when it's a bit cooler and give him a short stroll. Are you keeping OK yourself? hugs.

  2. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    11 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws (waves to everyone)

    It's so hot today and I have a dentist appointment to get to this afternoon.. and will have to shop on the way home... Sam hurt a paw yesterday running in the backyard and has been limping holding his front paw up and is a bit growly... no walks for him today and it's too hot anyway. It seems a bit better this morning I'm hoping he just wrenched it a bit. I will leave the fans on when I have to go out this afternoon.

    Yes I'll have to go back and buy his poo bags again and they're not cheap actually.. must have missed the bag, they eye has diminished quickly all of a sudden which I was hoping it wouldn't.

    I think people are too wary of talking about it - I'm OK, it's a bummer and it leads to embarrassing things like colliding with people, but the worst thing is people being too scared to say anything or else rapidly saying how sorry they are... I just need people to be OK about it and maybe simply ask what they can do to help...

    My music teacher was great, I realised I could no longer see the strings on the guitar to strum while I also have to use my left eye to view the frets on the neck to do the chords.. I told him and he just said "OK, so you need to get very good at fingering the strings to strum". I like that - matter of fact, not dripping sympathy but giving me practical help straight away.

    I do need to grieve and be scared sometimes, but I don't want people to be afraid of talking about it...I need to deal with it and I need people just to be OK about it.. I can imagine people get nervous but there's no need.

    Poor little Sam is still limping a bit.. a quiet day for us today apart from the dentist. It's going to be hot all week, gosh without aircon it's tiring. Hope you are OK there and Woofa too. hugs

    Hello to Katy, Grandy, everyone!

  3. Paw Prints
    Paw Prints avatar
    1066 posts
    11 January 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna,

    I had the old saying .. it doesn't rain but it pours .. run through my head as I read that Sam had hurt himself... poor little fellow... I can understand him being growly with it hurting... you most definitely have crossed a black cat or something lass... seriously I hope it's just a strain & he comes good quickly...

    I think the people who have trouble talking to you about your eyes need to realise that by not saying anything they are leaving you feeling isolated as you try to adjust to the changes you are faced with. You are very realistic about what is happening to your eyes and about the rollercoaster of emotions you will face... you need the people around you to be the same.

    How is your search for support services to help you learn to live with diminished eyesight going... have you managed to find any nearby... or found a social worker to help you navigate all the ins & outs of getting help?

    Hot here with the scary strong north winds that dry everything out... Woofa & I are under the cooling... I do need to get milk... so I'm about to turn the car on to get the aircon running & let it sit there cooling down for awhile before I get in to run up to the shop.

    Do rest up for the rest of the day after your dentist visit... You are very brave going there.

    Hugs

    Paws

  4. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    11 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    Did you get the milk OK? It's going to be incredibly hot here for several days now... without aircon it's horrible. Little Sam is tired tonight as I had to go out this afternoon and leave him alone in the house which he hates..

    The dentist was a young Asian fellow who moved from Queensland to be closer to his family in the city - he was missing the sea too... and he was very nice. The eye is much worse and I got a fright trying to get into the dentists chair as I couldn't see it well... negotiating things with only one eye is going to take a while to get used to, until I have a problem with something I don't know I'm going to find it tricky... I explained I couldn't see well as I felt silly, it's embarrassing..

    I enjoyed practicing my music tonight sitting out on the porch watching the sun set over the hills, it's such a pretty view, with the birds calling from the trees - it's so peaceful I could watch it forever. Little Sam lay on the concrete at my feet with a slight breeze ruffling his ears and he seemed to enjoy the peace too.. he just lies and watches things... and I played a little tune on the guitar and it was soothing.. it's a nice way to spend the evening, playing a bit of music and watching the sun set with a little dog at my feet...

    The dentist told me most of their work now is doing cosmetic dentistry to young people because of facebook, selfies etc - he said people are becoming very narcissistic about their appearance.... he was a pleasant young guy. I wonder why people get so obsessed with appearance.. I think they should concentrate on being kind and pleasant instead..

    It was nice to have a coffee at a sidewalk cafe after that and my favourite librarian was on at the library, we always chat. So a pleasant afternoon apart from getting a tooth filled. hot hot hot tomorrow and until the weekend... poor little Sam.

    I should be doing housework but it's too hot.. I haven't done anything about support for the eye problem as it must have got worse very suddenly... it's been Christmas and New Year and now hot.. I told the GP when I saw her the other day it was worse, I see her on Wednesday... will see what she says.

    Lovely of you to always come by here.. have you chatted to any of your family lately? Keep as cool as you can down there! hugs.

  5. Paw Prints
    Paw Prints avatar
    1066 posts
    11 January 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna,

    Oh lass you paint a lovely picture... your music practice outdoors sounds like a gorgeous way to past the time.

    Yes we got the milk ok... Woofa sat on the back seat with his head on my shoulder hogging the cool air coming out of the vents. A cool change has moved over us this evening & dropped the temp from 39 down to 24... hopefully tonight will be a lot cooler than last night. A cooler day tomorrow then it heats back up from Wednesday.

    You are very brave... being able to chat with the dentist is beyond me... then to be able to go for coffee & to the library after a dentist visit... oh I wish.

    It is sad how focused many young people are becoming on how they look... it can't be good for their mental health always trying to meet some unrealistic ideal... & it's not just their looks either these days... with bloggers showing a highly curated "aspire to" lifestyle...

    Yes my housework is on the back burner as well... My 42 projects I mentioned on Katy's thread unfortunately don't include any of the housework chores that are waiting to be done... I don't dare list what housework needs doing... that would be scary. The projects are all building work things I need to do to finish off inside the house... like putting the handles on the kitchen cupboard doors... tiling the splashback... putting up the kitchen blind.. if I do these I will have one room finished at least... then just the other 39 to finish off the other rooms.

    Rest up with your ongoing hot weather & give poorly Sam a pat from me

    Hugs

    Paws

  6. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    12 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    It heats up very late here... it's hotter at 5pm than at 3pm, and hotter again about 6pm.. 24 degrees sounds nice to me!!! Sam and I both get sleepy in the hot afternoons..

    A lazy day as it's too hot to do much. Is the difficulty with talking (like I did with the young dentist) an issue you've always had Paws, or is it from abuse? Because it's a shame as you sound such an interesting lady with so many interesting things to talk about..

    I slept in and have had a lazy day at home, I made myself mop the kitchen and bathroom floors and wash and hang out all the floor mats - doing at least one or two small chores makes me feel just slightly less guilty at doing nothing for the whole day!!!

    It's nice sitting on the porch playing a simple tune and watching the sun set... the hills are patchwork here with fields and trees and lanes... it's pretty. I think maybe the view made me take the house here.. and it's nice to play a simple song while Sam and I sit - it's peaceful and meditative... it's one of the reasons I wanted to learn to play... so I could just sit outside and play music sometimes... nice!

    I wish the good ABC news etc shows would come back on, it's all rather dull these days.. I guess later in January they will start again.

    I have had a letter from my energy company saying next week they will come to fix up the electricity meter so it will read the supply coming from the solar panels - hooray! At the moment they are useless, but this should mean they will start getting some power for me during the daytime.. and hopefully next step will be Housing putting in the aircon - if I'm incredibly lucky maybe they'lll have it here by end summer... sigh.

    I am off to get little Sam his dinner, it's about 32 and I have no energy.. and Sam is asleep on the floor...

    Sending rather hot hugs your way oxoxo

  7. Paw Prints
    Paw Prints avatar
    1066 posts
    13 January 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna,

    My internet was refusing to load yesterday... no idea why... it wasn't stormy or very hot... it just seems to have been gremlins.

    Oh finally... it will be good getting the reduction to your electricity bills once the solar panels finally are able to kick in. Having the panels working will also make being able to leave the air con on more affordable... so now we need to keep fingers & paws crossed the promised air con won't be far away.

    I was raised that it was improper for a woman to talk to strangers especially men... talking to doctors or dentists should at all times only be about the medical reason for the visit... my parents were very Victorian in their attitudes as to how their daughters should behave. (not the boys though) Then add in not being allowed to attend any of the usual social things most teens do after school/weekends I missed that chance to learn social skills. Also bullying & abuse have made it difficult for me to talk to people as I expect a bad response... so add in my fear of the dentist... & I struggle to even answer the dentists questions. My difficulty talking to strangers was one of the reasons I decided to travel.

    Another day spent in bed... I've had a very low mood the last few days... no reason, I'm just blah.

    Early start tomorrow... Woofa has a vet visit... his annual shots & to talk about his arthritis as the current meds are helping, but he is still struggling with mobility...

    How did your doctors visit go? Was she able to give you any helpful info regarding your eyes?

    Hope the cool weather moves your way... hugs

    Paws

  8. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    13 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    I'm sorry to hear you are feeling blah lately... has anything brought that on that you can figure out? I have the same problems with my wifi every so often as you know...

    My parents were very strict too, although in a different way to yours I think - fancy you could only talk to the doctor/dentist about the problem.. and never encourage you to talk naturally and comfortably. I had the same due to my mother being so ferocious - all I could think of talking to anyone was minding my manners, and did I say the right thing or would I get into trouble. I could never relax.

    I guess it was the times we grew up, thank goodness people are not like that now. I'm sorry your experience of abuse etc has made you feel frightened and unsafe too. I had that for a long time but seem much better now but it's been a journey.

    I sat in the park with Sam for a while this morning and there was a group of young children with a lovely young man (maybe early university age?) who was taking them out...they came and patted Sam.. .who loved all the attention of course.. but I kept thinking what a lovely young man he was, so kind thanking me for letting the children pat Sam, and being so nice with the children, tying their shoelaces back up and being so kind with them...

    Good luck with your early start tomorrow, I do not like early starts!

    The GP is a nice young woman, it took me ages to find a nice one and she is lovely, just a check up and we sat and chatted for a while as I was her last patient today, and she had spent the morning at a local mine checking the men there for skin lesions etc.. because they spend time in the outdoors.. she said how friendly they were, and how good Aussie blokes are at being kind and helpful as long as you are friendly.. So that was nice!

    You take care of yourself and do please come by here and chat if you feel a need to... I will check back later and again tomorrow.

    Fluffy soft hugs from Sam oooo

  9. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    14 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    How are you going today? Terribly hot here, getting around 40 poor Sam... he's so tired...

    My parents were also ridiculously strict, I could never really relax or have fun... I am sorry you didn't get to social things... i didn't much either by then I was already so shy and scared.. but you had the family to care for as I remember, that was tough.

    Paws, where did you travel to? Do tell, I'd love to hear about your adventures!

    Sorry you've been blah... do tell me where you travelled to and how it was, when you're up to it of course.

    hugs hugs

  10. Paw Prints
    Paw Prints avatar
    1066 posts
    14 January 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna, wave to everyone,

    We are back from the vet... Woofa behaved himself for the vet except for getting on the scales... they don't really make them big enough for him to fit comfortably. We have started him on an additional arthritis treatment as despite the improvement from the one he is already on, he is still showing pain. He needs to get a dose once a week for four weeks, then further doses will be on an as need basis, it may be anything from monthly to yearly. He also had his annual needles & I got some lotion for his hot spots where he has been licking since last weekend.

    Vet visiting is hard work... Woofa came in through the front door... straight to his bowl for a drink... outside to puddle... on to the couch & was fast asleep within 5 minutes of arriving home.

    I'm sure Sam soaked up all the attention.. do you think the young man was a childcare worker or were the children possibly from one family?

    I re-read 2001 A Space Odyssey & 2010 Odyssey Two last night... I also found the dvd of 2001 for only $8 online... so I have ordered it & now have to wait for the snail mail to deliver it. I am wondering if it has stood the test of time.

    I'm going to have a very quiet day today... I might read 2061 Odyssey Three.. or just play card games... or simply sit & watch the wildlife for a while. After being awake all night a nap is also a possibility.

    Are you expecting any relief from the heat there? I saw on the weather some parts of NSW are expecting a cool change with rain later today... fingers crossed you get some of the cool change.

    Hugs

    Paws

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    15 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    Glad to hear Woofa went OK at the vet's. How are you feeling, still a bit blah or any better? Did you read your books?

    Hot this morning after a baking hot day yesterday and last night... now a cool change has come through for a day or two... hurrah! It's lovely to have a coolish breeze blowing. We managed a walk by the river and Sam had a swim this morning before it got too hot, then we hunkered down at home until the cool change came through. I've been busy getting the place fit for a Housing inspection later this week - I don't want to leave it too late as it's supposed to get another heatwave after the weekend and it'll be too hot to do housework, so I'm doing it now. Already the place looks better! Doing a bit at a time. Vacuuming and bed making tomorrow...

    Busy sorting out music lessons, hopefully it will be Celtic harp every fortnight and guitar every week - I'm waiting on a reply from the harp teacher - my music teacher friend contacted him and told him I'd be in touch, and she said he has a vacancy in his Tuesday lessons.. I will be eating instant noodles for months to pay for it all, but i am loving it..

    I think the young man with the children had something to do with one of the churches here - but coming across a young man being so kind restores your faith in the young men of today!!!

    Housework to finish tomorrow, plus a coffee out and a trip to the library and a walk for Sam.

    Do let me know how you are there. Hugs, lots of them, from us here oxoxox

  12. Paw Prints
    Paw Prints avatar
    1066 posts
    15 January 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna,

    It looks like we both posted at the same time yesterday.

    Poor Sam (& you) the heat must be draining... has popping his food in the freezer been helping him at all? I know the house holds the heat at night... is hosing it down helping even slightly.

    Ummm my travels... well I've only travelled overseas three times... it was my break from caring for dad... one of my brothers & youngest sister stepped in & cared for him while I was away. Over the three trips I spent 4-5 weeks in the UK each time... I did a weekend in Vienna... a 7 day cruise amongst the fjords of Norway... I spent 2 weeks driving the length of Norway... & I did a tour of Iceland. The day tours as part of the cruise & whilst I was in Iceland were the only time I travelled in tour groups... I drove myself everywhere else. Lots of memories of beautiful places & people.

    I remember from an earlier chat we had you have travelled in Wales.. did you travel further afield?

    Hugs

    Paws

  13. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    16 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    What lovely trips you have done - driving through Iceland or was it Norway, sorry it's hard to find your post again... both would have been marvellous - do tell me what you thought of the countries, I am interested. I spent some time in the UK and in Germany/Austria/Belgium/France long ago, but never got to the nordic countries. What a wonderful break it must have been from all your family responsibilities. What a pity there couldn't have been more of that in your life - you sound adventurous driving over there!

    It's cold here today, strange weather, did an extra long walk with Sam, lots of housework, I'm bushed now. Sam is still limping slightly if he walks too long so he has hurt one of his forepaws somehow. Resting him for the rest of today.

    I will be having fortnightly Celtic harp lessons with a guy who used to play music in the band of the French Foreign Lesion - wow how amazing. I've met him once only briefly, I will be fascinated to hear all about it! He's a friend of a friend here. Still having guitar but weekly so I can get more proficient at it. I will be busy come late January!!

    I hose the house walls down at night (except today when it's cold) - you can tell it brings the temperature down when you feel the inside walls, so it must be doing something. Thank you so much for that advice Paws, every little helps even if it's only a degree or two it makes a difference.

    How are you there? Any good movies to watch? SBS Movies is letting me down lately... nothing much good.

    Sending hugs!

  14. Paw Prints
    Paw Prints avatar
    1066 posts
    16 January 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna,

    Wow you will be busy with your music... especially fitting in all the practice as well... I think it's wonderful after the rotten start you had there that things are improving for you.

    Poor little Sam... it must be sore if he's limping still.

    Were you working or holidaying while you were overseas? Did you have a favourite place? My weekend in Vienna was me dipping my toe in to see how I coped in a non english speaking country. How did you find it?

    Norway was breathtaking... I first went there when I did the cruise through the fjords... the day tours the ship organised gave me enough of an idea what the land was like that I decided to come back & drive myself... I started my driving tour at one of the most northern towns in Norway... it had been an interesting flight just to get there... as the plane was an small old propeller cargo plane with none of the internal fixtures modern planes have... so you could see the framework of the plane & there were only a handful of seats bolted near the front... with cargo lashed down in the back without any dividing wall between it & the passenger area. Very very noisy.

    I woke after my first night there... opened my curtains to come face to face with a reindeer... though they are all owned... they just wander freely in the north... they also have right of way on the roads... which is a bit tricky because they like to lay on the roads as the tarmac absorbs the heat from the sun... they are also very large & not at all bothered by cars approaching them... the road rules say any contact between reindeer & cars... the driver is always at fault & you have to pay the reindeers owner damages..

    Being that far north of the artic circle & it being early Autumn the daylight was nearly 24 hour... so plenty of time to take in the gorgeous scenery...

    Woops almost out of characters

    Hugs

    Paws

  15. pgsc
    pgsc avatar
    9 posts
    16 January 2021
    Most of my days are alone. That's how life is.

    I've been a mess since Mrs went into the nursing home at the end of July 2020, so now the people (inc family) who "will be there for me" always have excuses ... Yes, life is fun. Or it was.
    1 person found this helpful
  16. Paw Prints
    Paw Prints avatar
    1066 posts
    16 January 2021 in reply to pgsc

    Hello pgsc,

    Losing a loved one is one of the hardest griefs to bear... you have an added grief... the wife you shared your life with is gone, yet she still lives without knowing who she was or is. Dementia is a cruel disease.

    It must be doubly hard with all the covid restrictions... & lacking the support you need...

    Have you considered contacting a carers/family support service or group... If you might be interested then a call to the bb helpline 1300 224 636 may be able to put you in touch with people in your state... having other people to talk to... who are also dealing having a loved one with dementia... they are more likely "to get" the difficulties you are facing...

    Loneliness is a common problem unfortunately... the bb forums are a friendly safe place to reach out on... they also have threads that are more social.. do have a look under the BB social zone... there are a wide variety of threads to browse/join in with.

    I see on your thread that you don't have any hobbies or interests that can help at the moment... though you did mention caravanning... you can hire caravans & motorhomes... which saves on the coast of owning one.

    Paws

    1 person found this helpful
  17. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    17 January 2021 in reply to pgsc

    Hi pgsc,

    Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time on your own. The only thing I can suggest is that you try to find an interest or too, preferably with company, that can help keep you busy. I don't know what your interests are, if you have a local community centre they might be able to help with ideas, or a local library might have a notice board of things going on. Just being where you can interact with others and take your mind off things for a while might help. Good luck and best wishes.

  18. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    17 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws

    Excuse my typo in my last post to you - French Foreign Legion, not Lesion!!

    Your trips sound wonderful, I've never been face to face with a reindeer how lovely!!! The scenery must have been gorgeous too. How did you find the people? You were amazing to do that, did you do it on your own or with a friend? Wow. The plane flight you had reminds me of one I had when I was staying in Western Samoa, I decided to stay on a small outer island and I had to catch a small local plane to get there... the Samoan men were very kind and made sure I sat in the front seat.. so I could see as we flew over mountains.. and the sea - wonderful - but I think the plane dated from WW2 I'm not sure how it stayed up in the air!!!

    Did you visit the cities in Norway? What did you think of Iceland and the people? How great to have those memories.

    Lovely day here, but little Sam is not himself - seems unduly tired. He slept heavily last night and this morning wasn't his usual self on his walk, wanted to turn around and rest... now he's sleeping again - hasn't wanted food athough he ate well last night. I think the heat has affected him badly but still .. I do worry!

    I am playing Ed Sheeran's lovely song Afterglow - it's on Utube - he writes and sings such lovely songs. Sending hugs. oxoxo

  19. Paw Prints
    Paw Prints avatar
    1066 posts
    17 January 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna,

    I'm sure you are worrying about Sam... lass do you think it might be a good idea to take him to the vet & get a full blood works done... just to be sure there isn't something other than the weather making him so down. Perhaps grab a urine sample & take that with you too.

    Wow you have travelled... Western Samoa is definitely off the usual tourist trails... it sounds like you went there on your own... how brave are you!!!... were you volunteering, working or holidaying there? What was it like?

    I always travelled alone... the only tour groups I did were with the cruise day trips & my Iceland trip. I decided on not driving myself in Iceland because back then all the roads outside of the towns were 4wd only & in most places there were no roads at all because the spring thaws would wash them away... so people driving would have to pick there own way over the lava plains. I wasn't that brave.

    I fell in love with Iceland... their way of life is so unique... the people generous & very friendly... the scenery is best described as otherwordly. I think what helped make it special was this was before Iceland was really thought of as a tourist destination so it was more like having a friend show you around their place, than being on a tour... having only 10 people in the small 4wd bus helped too. If they didn't have so many active volcanoes I would happily move there to live.

    The people in Norway were lovely & even willing to put up with my attempts to speak the language.... with their help by the end of the trip I could ask for a single room with ensuite in Norwegian... I had also mastered a few other short phrases... not that I can remember any now. I loved how not just in the small villages, but even in the capital people would go out of their way to assist the people around them.

    French Foreign Legion + celtic harp... not a combination that would ever spring to my mind... your lessons should be very interesting.

    How are you lass? Are you taking care of you?

    Paws

  20. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    19 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    Lovely to hear from you and Katy. I have had no internet access for a couple of days, managed to get it repaired a a computer shop this morning, but it may go down again due to extreme heat (heatwave here). If I can't reply for a little while that will be the reason - no wifi connection! Hugs all round xoxo

  21. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    19 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws, wow wifi back at least temporarily, wow, I have missed it!

    Your travels sound wonderful. How nice that the people were so friendly - I'm sure they pick up if your attitude is friendly and open too... I think you were brave doing all that driving... what wonderful memories to have!

    I am frying her and it's going up to early 40s this week oh dear.. no air con. I think Sam is just feeling the heat, he is getting very tired and so am I... he just wants to lie on the cool grass in the evening and not walk much... poor lad.

    See Katy's thread re today, busy busy. I have to go to the library soon and try to get a computer to print from so this is a bit rushed but I wanted to reply while I had wifi connection!

    I went to Western Samoa after studying anthropology, to write a paper. Nobody much travelled there then, and I went to a more remote outer island deliberately - it was like a paradise - so beautiful! You had to be careful as a Western woman though, as it could be quite a dangerous place, so I usually got an escort, male or female, to walk with me. Once you got to a village, the people saw it as a point of honour to welcome you and ensure you were safe. They were very poor and I was very humbled by them... I think it's all touristy now, that was long ago when I was a young thing.

    Busy enrolling in music before the worst of the heat sets in here, oh dear, what is it like there where you are? It's going to be dreadful here.

    I have bought some stuff for swimming - goggles, cap, etc - but waiting for the kids to go back to school before I start lap swimming to exercise and lose 5 kg!!!! Eeeek. Doctor's orders!

    How are you and Woofa keeping? Sending hugs oxoxo

  22. Paw Prints
    Paw Prints avatar
    1066 posts
    19 January 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna, wave to everyone,

    You definitely have an adventurous side to you... I would never be brave enough to go to such an out of the way, risky place even with company & you did it alone... Usually I think of managing the language.. customs.. diet.. of a different country are a very interesting part of the experience... yet when I think of you in Western Samoa, I find myself regarding them more as difficulties you must have faced, especially given the remoteness & that you were aware of it being a dangerous place.

    I'm curious... did you find each village was an independent unit & only mixing with others on occasion for trade etc or was there a lot of interaction between the various groups on that island or other islands nearby. I found that the topography & climate of Norway affected how the scattered villages could interact... many small fishing villages were scattered in the Norwegian fjords without road access... they were isolated for periods when the sea ice closed their access to other places... but even in the summer months the locals tended to socialise mostly with other villages in their fjord... there was little contact between the different fjord communities... the only time they met other people was when the fishermen landed their catch at larger ports... the children went to boarding school... or the women went by sea to a larger town to get items not available at the general store in their fjord. Though I'm sure it's very different these days.

    I think we were both very lucky to be able to go to places & meet the locals before the tourist trade moved in & changed them forever.

    You do have a busy week ahead by the sound of things...

    Oh you poor things days in the 40s are not what you & Sam need... we are expecting to get into the mid 30s this week which is bad enough... (& I have cooling)...

    Hugs

    Paws

  23. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    19 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    I've found a new game for Sam to amuse himself with at night - I get a piece of Schmako and put it in the bottom of a deep narrow cup and put it on the floor. He goes crazy trying to work out how to get the treat - he tries to put his snout down the mug but it's too deep, he can't reach the treat at the bottom and the cup is too narrow - he tries rolling the cup along the floor - sometimes the treat falls out but mostly it doesn't - now he has grasped the handle with a paw to hold the cup steady while he tries again to reach the treat - he's having a wonderful time! He's been going at it for a while now... he loves puzzles.

    Western Samoa was a strange place - I was lucky to have a Samoan friend who was able to give me some hints before I left about social norms... I didn't expect it to be so dangerous and quickly found the odd person, often Australian men, who had drifted there as they could exist cheaply.. and they would escort me around out of courtesy.. and the local women would help me.

    I know the villagers did mix between villages but I gained the impression they were also quite distinct. One of the things I had to get used to was that children did not necessarily live with their parents but were shared around different people in the village - their parents might live in the hut next door but they would be being cared for by another person - so everyone takes care of rearing the children, not just the parents. The old say it takes a village to raise a child!!!

    I suppose looking back it was surprising I took risks like that, but I have always been a bit of a risk taker. I guess I was young and fit! Mostly I was studying the lack of available men for the women - Samoans adore children but there are too few men for all the girls to be married - it's quite intriguing how they nonetheless manage to all have kids.. single women are expected to, there 's no stigma as everyone loves children. They were very concerned I didn't have any until I told them I was caring for my very old father - that gave me their respect, and I wouldn't have known to do that if my Samoan friend hadn't told me before I went that that was what I needed to say!!!

    I think you were amazing too... I think we both were!

    Off to play with Sam... it's lovely to hear from you I will post tomorrow.. hugs xoxoo

  24. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    20 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Paws, that's interesting that you say the topography affected the ability of people to interract - I can imagine before public transport/cars that would have made a huge impact. I read a book by a woman about her childhood in late Victorian rural England and she commented that you could never go further than the horse and cart... so nobody knew anything about the countryside much or the other people outside that small distance. Isn't it interesting! The motor car changed all that, and steam trains first of course!

    Samoans get around by canoe, so probably interracted more via the coast.. and they are amazing swimmers.

    Off to type a letter and photocopy documents at the library - dreadful heatwave coming here but cold today... and a Housing inspection tomorrow afternoon so I have to wait in for hours for the clerk to come and check I'm not breaking the walls down! I will ask her what on earth is happening to the air conditioning...

    Are you and Woofa keeping OK? How's the verandah/garden etc going? Any more plans? I hope you are OK there. lots of hugs!

  25. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    20 January 2021 in reply to Hanna3
    We have such a prolonged heatwave coming here I think I will have to put Sam into an air conditioned dog boarding kennel somewhere - it's going to be in the high 30's and maybe over 40 from Sunday on for day after day... I don't think he will manage... he gets very upset when I am not with him, but i think this heatwave might be the end of him... Paws what do you think? Would value some advice? I'm worried for me too, but more for Sam.
  26. Paw Prints
    Paw Prints avatar
    1066 posts
    21 January 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna,

    I'm sorry lass I'm so late getting back to you... I've been asleep.

    Lass it's just my opinion... but I think given his age & health... the stress of being apart from you (especially as he isn't accustomed to kennel stays) might be worse for him than staying with you... If you do decide to put him in a kennel it would be a good idea to get some calming meds from the vet for him.

    Is it remotely possible you could find the money for the two of you to stay at dog friendly accommodation just for the hottest days... Failing that can you set yourselves up in the coolest room you have... with Sam on his cooling mat & feeding him his food either cold from the fridge or frozen... then keep the 2 of you wetted down in front of the old aircon you have, plus having a fan blowing... air blowing on wet skin has a natural cooling effect as it evaporates...

    It might sound like a daft idea but... does your car have aircon... if it does then if you park it in shade it would be a good place to stay during the day... you could settle back with a book... have cold drinks for you & Sam. When Woofa & I evacuated due to fires a few years back, we ended up spending a few days living in my car until the roads re-opened... it was baking hot, but the aircon worked well & Woofa was fine with it...

    Remember lass whatever you decide you will be making the best decision based on what you know now... you can't do better than that.

    Hugs

    Paws

    1 person found this helpful
  27. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    7692 posts
    21 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Dear Hanna...

    Yes it’s going to be hot for a few days...I like very much what Paws has said to you about poor Sam fretting for you..I mean I don’t like that he will..it’s a good suggestion about the motel...

    Sam seems to like the water..I’m wondering if you put put a small pool you know like those shell sand pits in your bathroom and fill it with some water so Sam can cool of in it...maybe add some ice or refill after he uses it..If he is damp and the fan blowing on him..it will help to keep him cool..l.

    Also lovely Hanna..if you have blinds keep the shut for a few days....I hope you manage okay...I often have a couple of showers through a hot sticky day..although the water is not really that cold but it all helps...These older fibro homes feels like being in a slow running oven....so hot and steamy...

    How have you been feeling yourself dear friend?...I read that you are enjoying your guitar lessons and are possibly starting Harp lessons soon...The Harp has a beautiful sound to it....Looks very complicated to play...I hope so much that you can remember some of the things you used to play on it...,Music really does calm us...

    I hope you and beautiful Sam manage to stay okay through the heat wave conditions that’s heading our way...

    Thinking of you both..with love and care..

    Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  28. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    21 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws (waves to everyone)

    That was kind of you to write your suggestions about little Sam. I spoke to the person at the boarding kennel this moring (my music friend recommended them), it's $29/day but it's not air conditioned, only heated for winter... but she said well insulated - but I wouldn't be allowed to stop by to see Sam if I only had him boarded for a few days (which is all I want) as they don't permit it. I don't like having my dog where I can't see how he is...

    I thought your idea of running the car with the aircon on was a good one - I guess it just used some petrol, so I will look around for where there are some shady trees late afternoon by the river where I could park and quietly run the aircon in the car for a while and take a book to read.. and Sam can hopefully rest in the car aircon. What a good idea! It's dreadfully hot now I feel slightly nauseated, and this is one of the cooler days!

    The clerk from Housing came, he was a hopeless young man who was terrified of Sam, I had to tie him up outside - he wouldn't do anything about the air conditioning, said it would be done late February (!!!!) (end of summer)... I need brighter light bulbs in the ceiling for my sight, he said not his responsibility, overhanging dead tree branches outside which are dangerous to people and property - he photographed them but wouldn't do anything, again I have to write a request! He photographed every room including the bedroom where I had been having a lie down with little Sam, which felt terribly intrusive as I hadn't had time to tidy it. Useless man. Said for the change of light bulbs I needed a support person to write a request or else my GP!!! Just for a change of ceiling lights! Why? I have a brain and I can request it perfectly well... oh dear.

    I have done the bursary request for the conservatorium and have to get it witnessed this afternoon and do some food shopping. Hot hot hot here. Gosh we are in for a tough week, but I didn't like putting Sam where I couldn't check on him...

    Thank you for the idea about the car aircon! Sending hugs

    PS: If my internet goes down due to the heat, that will be why if there is no replies from me during the heatwave.. the wifi goes down sometimes from the computer overheating...

  29. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    21 January 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy,

    I'm so glad you went back to the shop and had some nice company with the other ladies!!!

    See what I wrote to Paws.. the kennel wouldn't let me check on Sam if he was there for a few days.. so I won't leave him where I can't check he is OK...

    I keep the blockout curtains closed... but the western sun hits the back of the house until 8.30 at night and it's like living in a baking oven - which it is!!! Sam won't get into a pool I've tried - I dunk him in the laundry tub sometimes and bath him. I give him ice water, ice blocks, and spray him down with a spray bottle and lukewarm water.. but it's so hot here. You know what these old fibros are like!!! If we only had awnings over the back windows to keep the sun off,....

    Harp isn't that hard to play.. I mean it's difficult but even when you make a mistake it still sounds lovely! I played it years ago, my friend is bringing me a spare one to have in the loungeroom to practice on! So I will have a borrowed harp and a borrowed guitar, aren't people kind... Acoustic guitar is hard to play, takes a couple of years to get any good.. .and it sounds terrible if you make a mistake - but I can carry it out to sit on the porch and play in the early evening and it's soothing. My harp playing friend is coming over for a cuppa with me tomorrow morning - I hardly ever get to see her as her partner won't let her stay more than two days in her home... then she has to leave.

    I feel a bit overwhelmed by people's kindness really - I have two borrowed musical instruments to have here.. people are very kind and trusting I will take care of them - which of course I do. I wish I could do something back for these people.

    So little Sam is going to have a very hot, tiring week ahead... but he will be with me. I can't imagine life without him - I look into his beautiful big brown eyes and I melt! I'm sure he's a very old soul...

    Sending you hugs for coming by here, it's so nice to see you here! hugs.

  30. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2194 posts
    21 January 2021 in reply to Hanna3
    Paws - I have lost your thread, can't remember the name of it/where it is? Are you feeling blah? Do let me know how you are... hugs.

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