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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

Topic: Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

  1. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    31 January 2020

    Hi there everyone.

    I'm sorry for not replying until now. Had a bad day today.

    I hope everyone else is alright though.

    Love and hugs to everyone as usual,

    Tayla xx

  2. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    2 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Paws, Hi Katy,

    I hope you're both OK. I'm having problems with the heat in my fibro house, I posted last night on the Café (probably the wrong place) and now I've put a post on the home improvement thread - am staying today at my friend's house with air conditioning, Sam wouldn't eat any dinner last night, this morning wanted to stay close by me, sit next to me, I came to my friend's house and put on the air conditioning, Sam won't drink, has eaten some grass outside, now sleeping in a corner, he's been lethargic and restless and pacing. I haven't got my thermometer with me to take his temp.

    I'm really worried about how hot my house is getting - I can't believe even the furniture is hot to touch. This house is only weatherboard but the furniture isn't hot! Katy you're in Housing do you have a more solid house than a fibro? I'm wondering if I'm going to have to go to Housing and say my health and my dog's heath are being affected by the heat...

    Just needing someone to talk to about the problem, if either of you comes by would love to hear from you. I know you can't help just to talk to someone would help. Thanks xxx

  3. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    2 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna

    Sorry, have been down and out with my sore ear!

    Fibro it notoriously hot in summer and cold in winter, so that's no good if you have extreme weather conditions in your area. I'm not sure what you can do about it though. I remember reading an article at the end of last year about this topic. I've googled and found a link if you're interested:

    https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-12-20/australia-heatwave-prompts-call-for-air-con-in-public-housing/11813912

    I'm not sure what state you're in either, but I think in Victoria you can apply for special housing requirements.

    I don't have that problem here, because the temperature never gets too high or low, and I'm in a nice brick unit with big shady trees. I don't have any heating or cooling, and don't need it on the majority of days. We might get one or two 40 degree days a year, but that's manageable.

    Have replied about Sam in the BB cafe thread. Sending much love to you both. Hopefully he just needs a cool rest and he'll perk up x

  4. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    2 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Thanks Katy I'll look on the Café in a moment. I moved here partly to get away from the heat where I was living but this is much worse! I was in a brick unit there, still terribly hot but the fibro house is worse. I am in NSW and they don't have any requirements to provide air conditioning etc. We don't get window coverings either so it's very costly to move into a place. I waited a year for the transfer, because I remembered this area as cool with mild summers, but apparently in the last few years it has changed to extremely hot summers and milder winters, athough it was snowing heavily when I came to view the house.

    I've been sitting here crying, everything that could go wrong since I've arrived here has gone wrong - I got flu, missed my courses I'd paid for, had no company over Xmas new Year, then dust storms, then months of smoke from the fires, heatwaves now. I thought a garden would make Sam happy but it's bear and hot and now costs $60 to get mown - where I lived before Housing paid for it (still in NSW). Just feeling overwhelmed today. Sam nearly died of a liver problem before I left, it was a thousand dollars to get him to recover, but his lifespan is shortened, and now I am making him sick here.

    I think I should stay here in my friend's house overnight so Sam can have a proper rest - it's still 36 degrees outside, very hot. Still hot tomorrow. I haven't asked my friend she's gone to the city.. I could get a sheet and pillow from home and sleep on her couch...

    What a mess I am in. Sorry to give you this when you've had ear problems. I thought that was just a bit of water in your ear but sounds like it was something worse, I am sorry to bother you when you've been unwell. Thanks so much xx

  5. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    2 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    hugs, hugs, hugs HUGS!

    Absolutely no need to be sorry, and yes, do have a good cry. It's ridiculous the amount of things you've been dealing with and you've done well to cope thus far. It's not nice at all when our little friends are unwell and they can't talk and tell us what's wrong - on top of everything else. So do have a good cry.

    I think it's a good idea to stay at your friend's house overnight. It will give the two of you a break and a good sleep. That's good for anyone's state of mind. I'm sure your friend won't mind you crashing on the couch.

    You might not be bothered thinking about this right now, understandably, but I wonder if there are any social support organisations you could go and have a chat to about your circumstances? We have a number here that could be called upon, but I'm not sure what you have access to there. Alternatively, you could call and ask to speak to a social worker at Centrelink and see if they can offer you any assistance or direct you to someone who can help. Further, I'm not aware of your financial circumstances, although I realise you're on a pension, but a Centrelink loan or a loan from NILS if you could access either to get a decent aircon would do you a world of good.

    I'm so sorry you're going through so much. It's really a lot for anyone, so don't feel bad for feeling down, on top of it all xxx

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  6. Hanna3
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    3219 posts
    2 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Katy, loved the picture of Stormy!

    I just checked Sam's gums they're bright red which is a sign of heat exhaustion. I think I will have to take him to the vet tomorrow. They go white when pressed but back to very red. I think I will sleep here on the couch overnight, I can't reach my friend, I'll get a sheet from home and a pillow and stay here, she may be back tomorrow afternoon, but it will give Sam an evening in a cooler house - it's still around 37 outside and very hot. I'll just go home and get dinner and come back and give him his dinner here and hope he eats it. He won't even go outside here, just lying around on the floor. He seems a tiny bit better than earlier and has had one drink of water.

    I so wish I hadn't moved I thought it would be happier for him with a yard, I think I should maybe ring Housing here and ask for the woman who is my case worker or whatever they call her - the one who made the error about the inspection - and ask who should I talk to about the house making me sick (best not to mention the dog I think and make it me) and ask what my options are...

    Sorry to trouble you when you're not well thanks so much xx

  7. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    2 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel
    I'm wondering if I should ring Lifeline and if they would know anything but I don't know if anyone is there on a Sunday. I'll have to take Sam to the vet tomorrow. Yes I think I'll crash here overnight. Thanks so much Katy. I almost can't believe how much has been awful since I moved here. It's been a horrible time. Gosh I am thankful for people like you who are kind enough to help. Big hugs back to say thank you.xx
  8. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    2 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Absolutely, they're available 24/7.

    I'm glad to hear Sam's had a drink. I do know it doesn't matter too much if they miss a meal or two, as long as they're not off their water, so that's a good sign.

    And yes, I think calling Housing for a chat is a good first step. If you don't have any joy, go from there. You could always ring your local MP too.

    Please let me know how you get on. Thinking of you. Katy x

  9. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    2 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy, I took Sam's temperature and it's 38.1 which is normal. He seems a bit brighter after a day in air conditioning. I'm going to go home and get us both dinner and if the house is still too hot, I contacted my friend whose house it is and she is fine with me and Sam staying overnight if we want to. I'm only a short drive away so I'm going to see how we go now. There's a storm rolling in and I'm hoping it will drop the temperature a bit.

    Thanks so much again for your kind help and I'll let you know how we go tomorrow. Hugs for being so kind xx

  10. Paw Prints
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    2 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hannah,

    Sorry I haven't been here for you today. You must be so worried about Sam. Him drinking is good, it's best if he has lots of little drinks, than letting him have a big drink. Have you tried adding a little something tasty to his water to tempt him. A splash of milk or the water out of tinned fish might help.

    It will do you both good being able to sleep in the air con. Katy was right, have a good cry lass, you have had a hard run since you moved. Please ring Lifeline 13 11 14 or BB 1300 224 636 if you need to talk, they are there 24/7. They may also be able to offer you options as to what support services may be able to help you.

    I'll be about for a while yet & popping in & out, so I'm here if you want to chat

    Hugs

    Paws

  11. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    2 February 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Thanks Paws. We had a storm and a cool change late yesterday so we did actually sleep at home last night and opened up all the windows etc. Today still muggy but the rest of the week much cooler thankfully. Sam slept well but this morning is very unwell, crawling into my lap for comfort, I have a terrible feeling his liver problem is flaring up again. I've book a vet for 3.30 today - the same fear that it's not the vet we had in Coastal Town so I don't know how good they are... I've given Sam an anti-nausea tablet the old vet told me to give him if he looks like he's nauseated/in pain. So I don't know if it's liver or the heat or both...

    Am so tired from the heat myself... going to my friend's house this morning to tidy up and will keep Sam in the air conditioning there until we see the vet this afternoon. Oh dear we do worry for our pets don't we.

    Feeling like there is no way I could live another summer in this house... anyway I'm thankful for a cooler week ahead but there's the rest of February to go and my friend's abusive partner is moving back in next week so no chance of having my friend's house to stay in again... am feeling like I wish things would stop going wrong!

    Thanks for stopping by Paws, I would love to let you and Katy know how we get on at the vet this afternoon - they will probably run late but I'd like to come back on sometime after that and let you know how things are. Thanks so much for the support hugs xxx

  12. Paw Prints
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    3 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna,

    I will keep fingers & paws crossed for Sam.

    You can ring your old vet & have them email Sams history to your new vet. My old vet was happy to do this when I moved here. You may feel more comfortable with them having his old results to refer to.

    Hugs to you & Sam

    Paws

  13. Hanna3
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    3219 posts
    3 February 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws, I'm having a quiet day and going on and off the computer a bit - my anxiety is through the roof today I think worry about Sam and how we're going to cope with another heatwave etc etc etc - anxiety like this is awful. Sam's quiet maybe the tablet and also from the heat or feeling sick or all three..

    I did ask the vet here to get all Sam's reports from the previous vet which is what the previous vet told me to do - they told me it was very difficult and would take a long time, why I don't know. So I'll see today if they actually finally got them or not. I cannot see what would be difficult since everything these days is on computer... oh well.

    wish I had a truly supportive friend here but I don't... anyway spending the time at my friend's house as she's back tomorrow, her awful partner is back next week, so this is our last day we will have here and it's still cooler and more comfortable for Sam than our house. Will pop back here after his appointment to have a cuppa and clean up and then go home, depending on how hot it is then I guess. If it's hot we'll stay here a bit longer. I must ask the vet what more I can do for him if there's another heatwave...

    Thanks for coming by. xx

  14. Paw Prints
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    3 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hannah,

    Just popping in to see how you went at the vet. Will keep an eye out if you want to chat.

    Hugs

    Paws

  15. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    3 February 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws (waves to Katy!)

    You were one minute ahead of me. Just home from the vet. I always get the youngest and most junior but anyway - all Sam's results still not through from our old vet which was annoying. Temperature normal. He's been sleeping all day at my friend's place - much cooler today but I still kept him in some air conditioning. She said the heat has been very hard on animals and they've been seeing a lot of animals badly affected by it. She said she used to live in a fibro house in Townsville in Queensland and they had the aircon going 24/7, she said they're terrible.

    She said his tummy isn't sore, so she thinks it's not the liver but he's still recovering from the heat. So long as he eats tonight she is not concerned. She said I've done everything right for him in the heat, but the temperatures have been so extreme and the heatwave so prolonged pets have suffered badly if their owners don't have aircon.

    So I hope his sookiness this morning was just he's still out of sorts from the awful heat. We're home now as my friend gets back tomorrow, her partner is alcoholic and abusive but she won't push him out (it's her house he lives there rent free and she has had to pay for all his drinking etc - beats me, I think it must be codependent or something - I've met him he's terrifying). Maybe she's too scared of him. So that's the last time we'll have her home with was great.

    I'm hoping desperately no more heatwaves now but everyone is hoping that... still a lot of the month to go but this week is looking cooler, yay.

    Thanks so much for coming by and being so kind and checking on us. We do love our pets don't we? I'd be devastated if anything happened to Sam, especially after moving this far with him.

    Thanks Paws for your kindness and patience. I appreciate it so much. Furry hugs from Sam (they're a bit warm still I'm afraid...) HUGS xx

  16. Paw Prints
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    3 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hannah,

    That's such good news that it's not his liver. I'm not surprised the poor little lad is feeling off colour, you have had a very long run of heat & smoke. We really do worry about our furry family members, don't we. Hopefully the with the cooler weather he will perk up in the next day or so.

    I grew up in a fibro without air con, but we never had more than a few hot days at most before we got a cool change & we didn't have water restrictions which meant we could hose the house down each evening to cool it off. I think you would have good grounds for asking to be rehoused for health reasons.

    Hugs

    Paws

  17. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    3 February 2020

    Hi all.

    Sorry for not being active on the forums.

    I hope everyone's doing alright.

    Love and hugs,

    Tayla

  18. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    3 February 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws, yes a couple I got chatting to here in the park once told me they used to live in a fibro and hosed it down each evening to cool it, but with the water restrictions of course I can't do that... I've been thinking I've got grounds to ask for a transfer for health reasons too, but the Housing flats they have here are absolutely dreadful - I might see if I can ask for another town... somewhere...

    Sam had half his dinner I think he's very tired and I am too which I think is from the heat still. Going down to 12 degrees tonight after mid-40s for ages, we are having weird weather for sure.

    I hope things are OK at your end, did you ever look up the U3A courses? I think they have a national website...

    Sam and I are having a quiet evening... pats to Woofa and thanks again for your kindness.

  19. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    3 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Gosh that is weird weather! Still, the cool overnight will be a welcome relief.

    Glad to hear Sam is doing ok. I was worried there. I guess we don't really think of the weather taking such a toll on our pets. I feel for all the wildlife that have to endure the conditions without a loving human to try keep them comfortable.

    I'm feeling pretty tired myself. I think I might be coming down with a cold or flu, which I probably got at the dr's surgery the other day. I always find that annoying. Walking in healthy - I went to get some tests done - and walk out with something. bah humbug

    Anyway, have just started reading The Prettiest Horse... and oh my gosh am I loving the writing style!!!! Oh it's making my heart sing! (Won't discuss anything specific yet, as I'm not too far in and not sure where you're up to). But I get a bit excited when someone writes well.

    Take care (hi Paws), Katy

  20. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    3 February 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Hi Tayla

    Never a need to be sorry. Go at your own pace. Hope you're doing ok x

  21. Hanna3
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    3219 posts
    3 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy, ooh that's why I hate sitting in doctors' waiting rooms - all those germs!!! Poor you after the ear problem too...

    How did you find the other book you were reading? I've still got a reserve on it in the library so let me know if it was good or disappointing...

    I finished Glue Factory last night. No spoilers but I absolutely loved the first say two-thirds. Was less enthusiastic about the last section... see how you go. His childhood is horrifying... I thought it might be a good one for me to present at the next book club meeting.

    If you can work out the title and how it connects you're better than me... but yes I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!

    I think Sam is exhausted, he's eaten half his dinner and just sleeps and sleeps. I'm tired too so I think we're both tired with a cooler change after all that heat.

    Happy reading and we must talk about the book after you've finished! xx

    PS: I've been wondering how you manage all those pets in your unit? Do you have a garden of your own? I'd love a unit with a garden or a little villa with a tiny courtyard - just enough for me to sit out somewhere and Sam too... and a cat eventually. I suppose I can dream on...

  22. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    3 February 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Hi Tayla,

    I put a hello on one of your threads... no need to ever apologise. Furry hugs from Sam xx

  23. Paw Prints
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    3 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hannah, wave to Katy,

    Yes I looked U3A, there wasn't really anything which made me go yes that looks good. But that could just be my depression/anxiety talking. I have tagged the page so I can always go back & see whats on later. Motivation isn't a strong point for me at the moment.

    I don't know if housing is state based or federal, but would it be possible to be rehoused in say Vic or Tas where it would be cooler for you. That is of course if you would be happy moving away from the area you're used to.

    I see Sam ate some of his dinner, I hope you remembered to eat, as you would really need a pick up after all your worry over Sam.

    Paws

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  24. Missing user
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    3 February 2020

    Hi Katy and Hanna.

    Thanks for that. Love and hugs to you both.

    Tayla x

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  25. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    3 February 2020

    Hey Paw Prints.

    Sorry for this silly question but what's U3A?

    Hope you're well.

    Love and hugs,

    Tayla x

  26. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    3 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi again

    Yeah the other book was neither here nor there really. It's a nordic noir so I like the genre, and the writing was good, but just one of those books that you read and forget. So I'll let you decide whether to go ahead or find something else.

    As for my pets, it's a group of units, not a block, so all ground floor. They have nice sized back yards, so I have shabby lawn that I'm no good at taking care of and a lovely big shady tree. My cats are pretty old now so they don't wander like they used to (even though they're fixed), and staffies are notoriously clingy so Storm only goes outside when I'm out there. So it's perfect for us. I like to sit out there during the day and watch the birds that visit, and the animals just laze about on the grass or under the verandah. I'm lucky to have got this place really. Anyway, you've got nothing to lose by having a chat to Housing.

    I just remembered too - one of my online friends recommended the book Where the Crawdads Sing. She loved it, and I have had it on my list to read, so maybe look into that one.

    Katy

  27. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    3 February 2020

    Hi again everyone. Question for you all.

    Does anyone have any coping strategies, anything at all? I understand everything is different for everybody, I'm just curious.

    About the suggestions from Hanna about Dog Walking or something, it's something I've thought about, but I don't think anyone would let me do that here. Most people just hide in their houses which is fine, or if you see them they don't have any animals. But I'll keep thinking about it and other things. What I meant is most people here just keep to themselves. Even when I go for walks and I see someone regardless of the age, they don't even say hello, I give them a smile but nothing. And with social anxiety even saying hello can be hard for me and it sounds so easy right, one word? People probably think I'm rude, i hope not.

    All good if no one has any suggestions, I understand everybody is different. Thanks though anyway. Music helps me a lot, that's one thing I can definitely say.

    Love and hugs to everyone.

    Tayla x

  28. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    3 February 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Tayla

    I think you mentioned somewhere that your psychiatrist wrote about giving you more psychosocial support, is that right? If that's correct, then that will involve him helping you to connect more with your local community, whether that be work, study, socialising, and things like that, which it sounds like you're struggling with at the moment. I think that will be a real positive for you :)

    I don't know where you live, which for your own privacy is obviously fine, so I guess some generic suggestions would be to join a sports team or a youth group? Or look out on facebook or in your local newspaper for volunteer opportunities in your area. I sometimes see them for help to set up for events or local sports. Also I think I saw you mention that you might be interested in waitressing? If you don't have experience, maybe you could approach a cafe and ask for work experience? Regarding dog walking, could you put up a notice somewhere or make up some basic flyers and drop them around to advertise?

    Sorry if these aren't suitable or have been mentioned already, but just some ideas. Don't give up trying. You have a lot to offer. You're a very caring person and you just need a chance to show people that. Hugs, Katy

  29. Hanna3
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    3219 posts
    3 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy, Hi Paws!

    Katy, where you live sounds perfect, just what I would like! Are you neighbours pleasant? I did try the Crawdads book and couldn't get into it, but sometimes you can just try a book at the wrong time I'll try it again...

    As you're doing social work you should find Prettiest Horse an interesting book - his foster care placements were appalling! I was engrossed in the book for most of the way through...

    Sam has been so exhausted from the heatwave he slept all day yesterday, we went to the vet, came home he ate half his dinner and has slept solidly from 7pm and is still asleep. It shows how much it took out of him. I'm tired too but we've gone down to cooler days and cold nights and my electric blanket has decided to die... so I'm off to find a hot water bottle at least...It's a huge relief to have the heat stop, I dread another heatwave this summer I don't know how we'd get through it...

    Paws, U3A depends a bit on who is in your area to run a course. The courses in cities seem to be always brilliant. I was disappointed on what's on offer here this term, so will wait for next term... at least once you pay it's up to you whether you turn up or not...

    I did the polite thing and emailed the choir that I wasn't able to attend for a while due to being badly affected by the heat. Well the lady came back, apparently the lady who usually runs it is away, I'll call her X, well this other woman said to me "X would say to you to come back when you are able. I will tell you you had better come back very soon". !!!!! I won't be going back at all now... I thought I'd leave the option open, but after that I'm just relieved not to belong to it - and I saved my membership fee of $30. I don't like to be told I have to return soon when I've been unwell.

    I'm off to find a cheap electric blanket or a hot water bottle and hope Sam can manage a stroll in the park. Take care, hugs xx

  30. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    3 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy.

    Turns out the Psychosocial thing is at a triage, which they told me, is a mental hospital, for people being admitted, nothing else. I told them they can delete the referral because I don't want to be in a place like that. So I'll apologise to my Psychiatrist for the misunderstanding because I thought it was just a support group or something similar. I didn't think he would actually do a referral, that's one reason I've been thinking he doesn't want to see me anymore although he's never said to me or my GP he doesn't. So my GP (as bad as she is), my parents & myself don't want me going to places like that. So yeah it was just a misunderstanding I suppose.

    About the suggestions, I've tried all of that. There's no youth groups around here. Everything I'm told is for people in their 40s, I don't know why. I can't afford to study & can't get a job, I can't do anything at all. I've asked everywhere, for everything. Not that easy to move but my parents & I are thinking about it.

    Thanks anyway. Love and hugs,

    Tayla x

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