Dear Pipsy, Moon and Everyone,
I'm so very sorry to read of your struggles Pipsy and Moon. I used to have a drinking problem. When I left home I used to be drunk by about 10 a.m. most days. During year 11 and 12 at school I would go to a friend's place for a liquid lunch, that was about the only way I thought I could cope with returning to school.
This morning at Church as the minister was talking about how wonderful Christmas is and all the wonderful opportunities we will have for the New Year, I had tears running down my face. I wanted to yell and scream and ask her what was she talking about!
I let the tears flow. The guy next to me asked if I was okay and I appreciated that. I knew I would be okay later, that it was my feelings, emotions, thoughts and depression making me feel that way.
On arriving home, I went out into the garden for an hour and a half, raking up leaves, breaking off dead sticks, picking up long pieces of bark and as I went along I admired the colours of the tree trunks where the bark had fallen off. I noticed a new flower on one rose bush, a bulb that has flowers, the sound of the birds in the trees...eating the fruit!
Don't know if this is helping or not! On occasion I have used the phone help lines and they have been very beneficial. I have at times called Lifeline, when my time was up there I called Beyond Blue and on one occasion I called a third help line.
At times it is hard to shut out the negatives and in your cases the urge to have a drink to make everything feel right. Like Kaz mentioned, unfortunately there are repercussions to our actions.
Hope you can find some hope, some strength to get through this. Thinking of all of you who are struggling right now.
Hugs and hope, from Mrs. Dools