Violet, welcome to the forum.

Thanks for writing your post.

I am not sure if I binged alcohol but when I was manic I used to drink so much at alcohol and the drink combined with the mania would get me into all sorts of trouble.

I remember the shame the terrible shame came much later and wondered why I did this.

You have insight into your behaviour which I did not have, I blamed everyone for nagging me and I thought my behaviour was ok.

I am so glad you were honest enough to share and I am sure others like me will relate to your post.

Quirky

Anyone in here tonight and up for a chat?

I’m day 10 being almost dry day 7 I had one wine and now day 10 I’ve blown it completely!!!!

I’ve been a daily drinker for as long as I can remember and drinking at least a bottle a night. I’m struggling, I’m tonight full of remorse for having drunk. It’s not an occasion. Last weekend I even made an excuse to pass up dinner with friends because I was trying to be dry and tonight it was all for what?

Hi Shining_Star, please let me know, I'm here for you so we have a talk.

Geoff.

Hey Star

Yes there will be someone available for chat....soon :-) You dont have to struggle on your own

You havent blown it at all. You are here (and doing the very best you can by the way!)

I do hope you have found some value in this long term thread

my kind thoughts

Paul

Shining Star....the advice all alcohol counselling services give in big capital letters is .....Don't beat yourself up for "relapsing"....it happens. It happens to plenty of others too...and I would say just give yourself a break, this time, and know that as Scarlett O'Hara said in her famous final line in Gone With The Wind.....

"tomorrow is another day".......don't be too hard on yourself.

Shining Star.. Moonstruck is right there, don't be too hard on yourself. I find counting the days I haven't touched the booze can at times contribute to the problem and place unnecessary pressure. You feel like saying to everyone, hey I am ... days sober, in my world no one cares. For me finding things to replace the thought of drinking is the hardest task ever. Doing things that mean something. I let go of my life late last year. Turned to a family member who has bigger issues than I (medications she doesn't need + drinking with the medication).

I’m back, what a surprise! I know someone gave advice to not count in days but I’m so new to this it’s still days to me so I’m Day 17 and this is my 3rd time I’ve drunk. Some might say this is a failure but I say it’s a success.

I even went out last night to celebrate a birthday and didn’t drink but tonight there was a trigger which I’m working out and I bought a bottle of wine. It’s the first time I’ve had a whole bottle since I stopped drinking in one sitting.

i don’t feel as remorseful as I did last time because I do feel like I have more control over it now I’m taking medication. But tonight it was the same trigger as last time. So I guess in that respect I’m learning

Just looking for someone to chat to

Hi EPett, I exactly agree with you when you say ' hey I am ... days sober, in my world no one cares' and what does it actually mean to someone else unless you have been through the same situation, then it means the world.

Hello Shining_Star, for anybody who has a drinking problem then stopping is a major success but it's easy to have a relapse and that's part of your sobriety and please don't punish yourself.

The medication you have been given does not reduce the effects of alcohol that impair coordination and judgment, however, it does reduce the feeling of intoxication, the desire to drink and the cravings to drink.

I would go back and visit your doctor and check on the amount you have been prescribed.

My Best.

Geoff.

Shining_Star

Hello , and I am glad you are learning and gaining insights into your drinking. Your sobriety is a journey as you are realising and it is good you can see a pattern in your triggers. Well done.

Geoff has given you some helpful suggestions.

Quirky

I'm 24 years old and feel as if I have wasted a good 4 years of my twenties with drinking. When I look in the mirror, I don't like who I see, so I don't look. I think my excessive drinking stemmed from the fact that I am not comfortable with myself and who I am, I don't like who I am as a person so drinking is an easy way of escapism. It doesn't make me sad, or emotional, it just makes me happy and feel "ok". So I chase that feeling.

This isn't the first time I have tried to quit but it's the first time I have felt most serious about it. I feel as if I need to make some big changes in my life, this being one of them, to finally become okay with who I am as a person - or work out who I am as a person. I'm doing this relatively alone. I'm scared, as if I'm running out of time. I wish I never started drinking, ever, I wish I never wasted so much time and money on it.

Trying to have a positive outlook on life but it is difficult at the moment. 1 day sober.

Anyone up for a chat tonight?

Hi Shining_Star, I've had a few days off and haven't been on the forum, but if you want to talk, I'm here.

Geoff.

Are you around tonight?

Hi Shining_Star, I'm here if you want to talk to me.

Geoff.

Hi SS, just a friendly note to let you know that you are never alone here and there are many people that can be here for you too.

The forums don't have immediate chat available as a social website would have.

That doesn't mean that we can't be here for you as we are more than happy to do so.

If you could take the time ( when convenient for you ) to let us know how you are going then we will be able to provide you with the best support we can.

I hope you are doing OK.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Hi 1800goosehotline, welcome to the forums and thanks for posting.

It takes a lot of courage to post and I understand where you are coming from as it can be an awful place to be in.

We usually respond pretty quickly to new members and just letting you know that we are serious when we say (you are not alone).

If I may say good on you for having one day sober, as we all have to stop somewhere.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Hi Geoff,

thanks for your reply, sometimes I’m just looking for someone to talk to.

to be totally honest with you I’m not doing great at all on the booze front. I was so good for about 3.5weeks them bam! I’m off the wagon 110% again. I get so angry at myself, I feel like I’m failing myself and I’m failing my family.

Hi SS, it's very difficult to stop straight away and not start again, so don't punish yourself, although a handful of people are able to do this, relapses will occur, this will only build up your resilience.

When you stop and then start again, you think about all the reasons why you should stop and these accumulate to form the strength you need.

3.5 weeks is a long time to abstain and it's how you think about the situation and not any negatives remarks others make, you will stop again when you're ready.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Hi all, I have very new to this experience so I hope you can all bare with me.

In a time of absolute loneliness, to a point where I could not sink any lower in my own shame, after reading many of the posts in this thread, it is encouraging to know that I am not alone and that there are others out there all pulling together to see each other through.

From being a closest drinker, to a one person social drinker (as I have always been alone in my life, I've never felt the need to go out in a group for a night out), I have managed to use any reason to justify my drinking at the time. Feeling lonely, workplace bullying, rejection and feelings of career and personal failure were always the excuses. All that happened, was a feeling of nothing but shame and guilt the day after. This then led to another excuse to have a drink to dull the pain and try a feel good about something about myself. It became a feeling that I was regularly chasing. It was a cycle that I could stop for different lengths of time,

But then something would happen and then I would 'relapse'. As you can guess, this would compound the feeling of failure.

This is something that I have been trying to hide.....unsuccessfully....for a few years. Unfortunately, it took an accident at home and a trip to the hospital to make me realize, something needs to change and change it will. On this new journey of recovery, unlike previous attempts, I can't do this one by myself.

I've already taken small steps on the road back to my true self. But reading the journeys of many people in this forum, its good to know I'm not alone, and there are people travelling similar journeys who are more than willing to help others achieve their daily goals and provide a sounding board of support.

Thank you to many for having the courage to provide some of your stories and insights

Thanks Heoff,

i must admit during the 3.5 weeks it enlightened me to the triggers which I struggled though to not drink but did get too hard in the end but I guess it’s still a learning curve to work out how to avoid the booze.

Hello Mg, and a warm welcome to the forums.

A good but honest comment and what you have said does happen not only to you but other people as well.

When we decide to drink, we never worry about how we are going to feel the next day, that's furthest from our mind, we drink for a reason or we may find an excuse to dull our feelings or what's been happening at work, any social life we do have or because of our relationship/marriage or there may not be any reason and don't take any blame for relapsing, it's happened to me after a few months, something went horribly wrong, so I started once again.

(Now as I've said before I only socially drink and have done so for a number of years.)

Being a cupboard drinker we can hide for a little while, but if say that we're not drinking, we will be caught out, the mints we chew will be a give-away.

I'm sorry that you had an accident and needed to go to the hospital, but you don't have to do this all by yourself, there are plenty of people here to support you, and if possible I'd like to know about the small steps you have taken, and please don't be afraid, I'm really happy you have posted your comment.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Hi SS, there are a couple of options you can choose from if you like.

Your doctor can prescribe a particular medication that will stop 'the want to drink', it can be in tablet form or be administered via an implant, I've tried it in tablet form.

If you drink while taking it, then it won't reduce the effects of alcohol that it causes but it will reduce the feeling of intoxication and the desire to drink anymore, so it takes away the buzz alcohol produces, so you talk with your doctor.

The other option is to when it's time to drink or when you need a drink is to fill up a big glass of fizzy drink, lemonade, tonic water or such, and drink the whole glass, not a sip but all of it, then grap an apple or such and eat it, this will fill your belly up so you won't want any alcohol.

Please let us know how you get on.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Hi all,

I’m new here so hello! I feel a bit stupid writing this but what’s the harm?! I went out with friends yesterday for a boozy brunch with lasted all day and I have the absolute fear today... I’m so anxious and feel terrible. I generally only drink on the weekends but I’m a real lightweight and drink far more than I should and end up getting myself in such a state and can’t remember anything the next day. I hate that I drink Fri-Sun and I hate how much I drink. I really want to cut back on how much I’m drinking because with how rubbish and anxious I feel for days after, it’s just not worth it.

Moral of the story... I feel embarrassed and ashamed after I get myself so drunk and I’m sick of feeling that way. I’m pretty social and wondered if anyone has tips on how I can cut back/stop drinking? I know it’ll be really hard but I just want to get out of the routine I’ve gotten myself into.

Thanks and Happy Monday!

Hello Fema, and thanks for opening this thread up once again.

There are a few ideas I could suggest, firstly if you can go to your doctor, they can discuss this issue with you and then advice a couple of ways how to help you.

There is a type of medication they can prescribe which reduces the desire to drink alcohol but this will only work if you want to stop the addiction of drinking, it won't work if you want to just cut down as it stops the person from getting any buzz.

I've taken it and drinking alcohol only wastes the money you spend and any temptation by your friends offering you a drink, you'll need to have a reason, such as 'you can't drink taking a medication you're on'.

Try and avoid the pub at the weekends but if you still go order a soft drink it's the bubbles that seem to fill up your tummy and drink it quickly.

If you can't stop drinking after having one drink and need to keep going, then to have a social drink, will be difficult to sustain.

Ask your doctor about this medication and they may also want to do a blood test and the results could be a reason why you need to stop.

Hope you can get back to us.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Hi V,
I had something similar happen this weekend. Your post helped me to feel like I wasn't alone! Thank you ! I hope things are better for you.
C

Hello, I've been struggling for awhile now due to a couple of things. It's taken some time for me to finally realise how much I was reliant and numbing myself with alcohol and benzos. It's also taken awhile to find the right help with a gp and psychologist. I know I am on the right path but can't help feeling angry at doctors who just hand out script after script of these pills which I now think has slowed down my recovery. I feel like a failure, like I've wasted many years of my life. I'm not sure if any of this makes sense. I feel so alone and such a mess.

Hello Lily, and thanks for posting your comment and please don't feel alone.

We drink alcohol for numerous reasons, to entertain, to relax, or to help us make a decision or to numb our depression which could be caused by a multitude of problems which may then lead to addiction and what that entails is up to the person's discretion.

Unfortunately, names of medication aren't allowed, but before the alcohol was making your recovery to be slightly easier and now if you have stopped the drinking then you have to rely on your own thoughts.

When we drink daily then we rely on the alcohol to keep us going from one day to the next, but it's not fair to say that you have wasted many years of your life looking back, simply because the situation where or why you drank alcohol completely different to being sober.

The thought patterns aren't the same.

Please get back to us.

Geoff.

Hi Fema,

I can really relate to your post. Every week I tell myself that’s it! No more drinking! I pep myself up all week, I do my meditations, I cut out caffeine, I read up on the affects of alcohol on anxiety and depression...then the weekend comes and someone will offer me a drink and I will jump at it. Then I’ll have another one, then another one.

The next day I’ll torment myself over what I said or how I behaved, I’ll tell myself I failed, or that I’m just like my mum who has very extreme alcoholism, that there is something in me that is bad and wrong.

I think the pressure I put on myself makes it even worse and it sounds like it might be a little bit similar to how you’re feeling. I hate it and I’m sorry you’re going through it too.

I feel like I have two people inside me, one who likes quiet nights in with my dog, reading books and drinking tea, and one who is a complete train wreck and out of control.

Thanks for letting me vent on your post, I think I just needed to get all that out.

Hope you’re feeling better since your post x

Hi

I'm tapering off alcohol and I don't like it.

I'm the same sheapple I would be happy at home pottering around all the time and I don't know how things go wrong.

Cheers

PA