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Topic: Battling the booze

  1. Kazzl
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    4 August 2016 in reply to Rhes

    Hiya Rhes - just wondering how you're going hun. Hope all is well.

    Kaz

  2. Rhes
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    6 August 2016 in reply to Kazzl

    Hi Kaz, thanks for checking in 😊 Was going to post something today. I've been going well, better than I expected, have totally stayed off booze these last 2 weeks 👍 Life's been pretty uneventful which is good as I've been battling a few anger/frustration issues from my past, in my head, probably due to a clear head! I seem to have worked through them as they're not on my mind as much. I went out for tea last nite with my flatmate and her friends and wasn't bothered by the drinking I wasn't doing with them. I must say, my tolerance of people has gone down quite a lot, I can't handle convos so much, alcohol would make every convo seem interesting, you know? I'm prepared for my social life to take a hit from this and I've lived a pretty wild life so far, so have hardly missed out! It's just another thing popping up on the windscreen to be dealt with I guess. I feel heaps stronger in myself and am more concerned about that than being hilariously great company (up til the point where I'd get depressive and bring everyone down anyway). So yeah, I guess I'm going through the process of learning to be happy in myself, or something? 😊

  3. Kazzl
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    6 August 2016 in reply to Rhes

    Hiya Rhes - so glad to hear you're going well hun. It's funny, when we stop drinking it's like we have to reacquaint ourselves with ourselves; get to know ourselves again. It's an interesting process. I learned a lot of things I didn't want to know - the things I was hiding from through drinking I guess - and many things that now make sense since I've been diagnosed with bipolar. But the important thing is you lose the guilt, the shame and the fear that goes with drinking. Being free from that is gold, and worth every struggle, every new thing I have to face. I wouldn't trade sobriety for anything these days.

    Working out a new way to be in social situations isn't easy (and yes, I lost a lot of tolerance of people too, especially when they were drunk). It is possible though to have a happy and active social life without the booze - and the great thing is you remember it the next day. 😃

    Good on you hun, you are doing so well.

    Kaz

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Danny boy
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    6 August 2016

    Hi Kaz

    I am currently working towards being sober. I was doing well (day 10) until i had a drink. In my view anyone who has issues with alcohol should not try to moderate. I have finally realized I am pretty powerless to moderate.I have to say that I agree with you that giving up drinking is a bloody hard journey. I have a long road a head of me but I am all ready making steady progress.

  5. Rhes
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    7 August 2016 in reply to Kazzl

    Thank you Kaz! Hope you're well. I do understand what you mean, I wouldn't trade this new feeling for anything right now. its so good to feel in control again 👍I'll go looking for more social life when I'm a bit stronger I think 😊

  6. Rhes
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    7 August 2016 in reply to Danny boy
    Hi Danny Boy, nice to meet you and congratulations on 10 days. I know what you mean, moderating has never worked for me either. This forum sure has though. Hope you're well 😊
  7. Kazzl
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    7 August 2016 in reply to Danny boy

    Hi Danny boy! Welcome, welcome, welcome. As Rhes said, congratulations on your 10 days, that's a top effort when you're just starting this sober journey. If you have a read through this thread you'll see we've talked before about gaining 'sober miles', and that's what you have done mate. No-one can take them away; you've had 10 days of knowing that being sober is possible, and that it's good. Hard, yes, really, really hard - but good. And now you've been through the really tough time once, you know what to expect and if you're determined, you can learn from that and have another go.

    Moderation isn't my style either. Learnt that one the hard way. I'm an all or nothing kinda gal. Some people can cut back on the booze and manage it in moderation, but I think for a lot of us, once the 'off switch' is broken it stays that way.

    You do have a long road ahead Danny, but you have already made progress and we are here to walk along with you. Stick with us, and have faith in yourself.

    Kaz

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Freddo99
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    18 August 2016 in reply to Kazzl
    Hi - is this thread still active - doesn't seem to have been any posts for a while. If it is, and ideas on dealing with hangover depression welcome :-) I definitely won't do it again (that's probably the three thousandth time I've said that) ;-)
  9. Moonstruck
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    30 August 2016 in reply to Freddo99
    Hi Freddo....thought I'd better send y0u a reply to let you know some of us ex-boozers are still around to talk to you. Hangover depression? No I don't know what to do about that one....except don't drink so much that you feel so bad afterwards. Don't know if you want to cut grog out....or just down. I had to cut out for medical reasons, so haven't had a drink for over 3 years...hence, no hangovers! I guess you have to ask yourself when you have a hangover depression...."was it worth it?".. As you said you are now an expert at it, having said that 3,000 times. What has your answer been ? that's the interesting part.......stay well.
    1 person found this helpful
  10. Rhes
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    31 August 2016 in reply to Freddo99

    Hi Freddo and Moon, thought I'd better contribute also. I love this thread, you all literally changed my life!

    Freddo I've had to quit completely (1 month sober) and what I found useful was reading about what a hangover is and how it affects the brain. In a nutshell, it seems that we are depleted of our happy chemicals afterwards, hence the depression. There is no way to put them back in, besides taking something synthetic I guess, (hmm booze and pills...a hot mess/recipe for disaster!)

    My main reason for quitting booze was because of the depression I experienced while hungover. I'm in my 40s now and it was getting worse not better with age. As Moon said, it's more about you and how you're coping with it. This is certainly a great, supportive place if you need help with cutting back or stopping completely :)

  11. Rhes
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    31 August 2016 in reply to Kazzl
    And thanks for checking in today Kaz! It's really nice to be thought of. Yes I know what you mean about the challenge always being there. I think my determination is so strong because I know it'll just add to all my other problems, not help them. Finally, I've worked that out! :)
  12. Kazzl
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    31 August 2016 in reply to Rhes

    Hi Rhes, it really is lovely to see you and to know you're going so well. Makes me very happy.

    Hiya Moon and Freddo, and all other fellow travellers here. Sorry I've been neglecting this place a bit. Time I did a spring clean and brought out the barbie! 😄

    Hope you're OK Freddo.

    Cheers all.

    1 person found this helpful
  13. sweetichick
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    31 August 2016 in reply to Kazzl

    Hey Everyone,

    This is my first time on this site and I suffer from anxiety and depression. I've been drinking a lot since breaking up with my boyfriend. I've been on an alcoholism site but find that noone else seems to have mental health problems. I couldn't work out how to start a new thread but thought this one was relevant to me.

  14. Kazzl
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    31 August 2016 in reply to sweetichick

    Hi sweetichick, welcome to the forum! It's good to have you here. You are amongst friends.

    I'm sorry to hear of your breakup, that must have hurt you deeply. And using alcohol to ease pain is very common. Trouble is, when we have depression and anxiety, it's easy to lose control of our drinking, to the point that it starts to control us.

    Well done for reaching out here hun, I know how hard that is and I admire your courage and self-awareness in acknowledging it's become a problem. If there is anything you'd like to ask or share please feel free. Are you wanting to stop drinking or cut down? And how are you getting on with your depression and anxiety - are you getting treatment?

    Also, if you want to start your own thread, to introduce yourself to the broader BB community, just go onto a board (eg Welcome and orientation) and look at the top right hand corner for New Thread. Click on that and you're away!

    Hope to talk with you again

    Kaz

  15. geoff
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    1 September 2016 in reply to Rhes
    I'm sorry but my copy and paste didn't work so I lost my reply, but will try again. Geoff.
  16. Rhes
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    1 September 2016 in reply to sweetichick

    Hi Sweetiechick and welcome, hope you're doing ok. I'm pretty new here too and hope I can be of support for you. Great to meet you,

    Rhes

  17. Rhes
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    1 September 2016 in reply to geoff
    No worries Geoff, hear from you soon 👍
  18. Kazzl
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    1 September 2016 in reply to Rhes

    Hiya Rhes hun - what are you up to today? Hope all is well. Sweetichick - how are you going? Hope we hear from you soon.

    I've just invited a new member called Jesse1 to look in here. I know my lovely fellow travellers will be welcoming. Jesse if you drop by I'll be around tonight, on the couch watching the footy. 😄

    Cheers

    Kaz

    1 person found this helpful
  19. Gettingbetter23
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    1 September 2016 in reply to Rhes

    Hey Rhes,

    I'm new to this, this is my first reply to someone! It takes courage to do what you're doing. It's dragon slaying stuff dude! I'm learning new ways of approaching the same issues that keep coming up in my life, and to be more at peace with myself. Being more compassionate and gentle towards myself helps me feel I matter and am worth looking after. Keep up with good fight! This forum is a very positive uplifting place.

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  20. geoff
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    2 September 2016 in reply to Rhes
    dear Rhes, what a mammoth effort for you to stop for 1 month, 1 day is great but to be able to extend this to 1 month whow, that's just terrific.

    Sweetichick, I'm sure that many of us have had mental problems while we drank alcohol, I certainly did and would never the hide the fact,because if I do then I am only fooling myself.


    Moonstruck whow 3 years fantastic, but whether it's for medical reasons is certainly a great way, as I had to now drink socially because of having a seizure and that's not what I would ever want to happen again, because to recover from a grand mal is where you don't know what day it is, where you are, your birth date or who is Prime Minister, plus you can't drive a car.

    If you can walk past a bottle shop or go ito a supermarket and be able to ignore the where the alcohol is sold, then you are cured, especially when you are stressed out, because you know what the dangers lie ahead if you go in and start once again.

    It is 'that determination' as Rhes has said, that willpower, that strength you need to be successful and that's what I am seeing here, so well done.

    The question you maybe asking is why do I drink socially, well the answer is that I know when I need to stop, otherwise there is a chance that a seizure will happen.

    Lookingforward from hearing from you Jessie as well as Gettingbetter. Geoff. x
  21. Rhes
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    2 September 2016 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff, thanks mate, yes I feel great, it seems to be sticking. Just went out and saw a band for the first time! It was good, very glad I was able to leave when I wanted to (early) as I get pretty tired out these days. Just needed a taste of live music, not a whole night of it 😂

    Kaz! Thanks for checking in on me the other night, hope your team won the footy! I replied to you but it didn't post. I said something silly about the tv show I was watching, my dark sense of humour may have got me unpublished. Live and learn 😊 I hope you're well, great to hear from you again and do hope more join us on here. I love meeting others on the journey!

    Gettingbetter, very pleased to meet you and thank you for your words of encouragement. I do hope you're going well and if I can be of support to you, I'll sure try 😊

    Happy Friday night everyone, there's more to life isn't there! 👍

  22. geoff
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    3 September 2016 in reply to Rhes
    dear Rhes, can I say that it's important for you and everyone else at the moment to keep all the encouragement going from all of us, because with alcohol it can be a demon that will destroy anybody. Geoff. x
  23. Rhes
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    3 September 2016 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff, yes I know what you're saying. When I have a chat with you guys it's a real relief as I know you know what it's like. I actually don't have any friends who've quit alcohol or drugs, they wouldn't even consider it. I must admit, I've been feeling like the odd one out, a bit of a killjoy at times. It is really great to have understanding people to talk to, as this is so important to me, more than people's opinion of me. Happy Saturday morning everyone 😊

  24. Moonstruck
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    3 September 2016 in reply to Rhes

    How great you're doing Res....good onya! Give yourself a pat on the back, cos no-one else will! ha ha...except we on here of course! Seriously though....hardly anyone over the past 3 years remembers what a hard thing it is to give up alcohol -or tells me what an achievement I've made - it has been hard - especially when I was using it for an emotional crutch, a medication to ease my emotional pain and anxiety - I relied on the bottle just "being there" whether I drank it or not. It's damn hard...at first...the hard part lasts different lengths of time for everyone...

    Geoff I was lucky that my "trigger" was not being around grog, watching others drink, smelling it, seeing it, walking into pubs etc....made no difference to me - so I was grateful for that. My trigger was always emotional pain, especially from relationships or work stress - so it must be doubly hard for those whose trigger is to walk past a pub or watch a mate order a drink - don't know how they manage that one!

    I didn't get too much teasing etc from friends (most of whom drink like fish)...people making a big deal and "forcing" a drink into my hand or anything.....got bored with it after a while I guess...no one turns a hair now! I was afraid I would "lose my personality, my fun part, my sense of humour, that I'd be boring to be around".....but they said NO, quite the contrary.....I am much more interesting and vibrant now! Fancy that...perhaps they were humouring me.

    I did notice my weight, hair and skin improved...my face seemed much clearer, brighter....the downside is that when you are the only one sober....the people around you who are getting tipsy seem so SILLY! they laugh at things that aren't funny, they behave like idiots, they don't make much sense to talk to intelligently!!.......Still love them all though - well, I used to be just like that once too I guess!!...........Keep up the good work Rhes. Moon S

  25. Kazzl
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    3 September 2016 in reply to Moonstruck

    Hiya Moon, Rhes, Geoff, Gettingbetter, Sweetichick and anyone lurking. 😄

    Nothing much to say really, just hi, hope you're having a good day. Happy to have such fine sober company.

    Love to all

    xx

  26. Rhes
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    3 September 2016 in reply to Moonstruck

    Hi Moon, thanks for telling me all that, really appreciate it. You've got a great attitude towards life and I bet that's really helped over the past 3 years. I can tell it takes a bit of time to be completely comfortable in this new way of life. I must say, I do have a small handful of close friends who are supportive. None of them live in the same city as me, I've moved to the city I'm in a bit over a year ago. So it's the socialising with peeps I don't know so well that I'm finding challenging. And because it's something I'm concentrating on a lot atm, I'm tempted to talk about it. I don't because no one else around me is giving up and it's not always a welcome topic! Hence feeling like a 'killjoy' at times. I'm great company first thing in the morning but who has parties then? 😂 Im pretty happy in my own company so it's not making me lonely or anything. Just makes me appreciate having this forum to come to, it's pretty damn cool and invaluable 😊

  27. Kazzl
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    4 September 2016 in reply to Rhes

    Morning all. Another hangover-free morning. Good innit. 😄

    Love to all here.

    Kaz

  28. geoff
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    4 September 2016 in reply to Moonstruck
    hi Moon, when I was depressed I could with-hold from drinking, because I had to drive home, as this was expected by my wife, and I also did it because of our 2 sons and their couple of friends who always tagged along with us, so I didn't want to be called an alcoholic by them but as soon as I got home then I was straight into it, so being around it didn't concern me, but mine also was for emotional reasons which was caused by depression but it didn't matter anyway, by then I was still called an alcoholic.
    You can walk past a bottle shop if you know that you have alcohol at home, but just want to get home as soon as possible. Geoff.
  29. Rhes
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    4 September 2016 in reply to Kazzl

    Right on Kaz, how good mornings are! Love to you back :)

    I agree with you Geoff, it's all about the depression primarily. I can walk past bottlos, be in pubs, restaurants, the times I feel the urge is if I'm depressed, anxious or bored. I guess there's a lot to that saying, check if you're tired, hungry, angry? (don't know if I'm quoting it correctly)

  30. Rhes
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    11 September 2016 in reply to Rhes
    Hey, hope everyone is going well :)

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